Friday, March 07, 2008


This news clip is priceless. Apparently, a man was watching some porn with the volume up at an inadvisable level. His downstairs neighbor heard screaming and thought a woman was being raped. So he grabbed his sword (yes, this man had a sword at the ready), ran up the stairs, and kicked in his neighbor's door.

The stunned afficiopornado was speechless. The knight in shining blue jeans barked loudly, "Where is she?!? Where is she?!?" At sword-point, he forced his neighbor to open every closet and cabinet in the apartment to prove he was alone.

The hero of the story was later arrested for misconduct and could spend a little time behind bars for his noble reflex. Let's keep the porn volume down, people, lest our neighbors get the wrong idea.

What kind of porn was this guy watching that his neighbor mistook it for a crime? We may never know. The reporter who interviewed him didn't think to ask. I can't believe the guy submitted to an interview at all. Can you imagine the caption under his name on the nightly news? JOHN SMITH, interrupted while enjoying porn.

Thursday, March 06, 2008


Just felt I needed to apologize to someone for what I just did on the elevator.



If Clinton somehow defies the laws of mathematics and manages an unlikely come-from-behind upset, Obama may have a future as an action hero. Check out that million dollar grin. I see a line of smash hits now featuring Barack Obama as the lovable, reliable action-star:

The Obamanator

The Obamanable Snowman

The Six Million Dollar Obaman

Obama Juan Kenobi

Passenger 58 (Always bet on Barack!)

G.I. O

Baracky Balboa

The O-Bomb

Agent Double O-Bama

The Obamatrix

Barack Lee


Wednesday, March 05, 2008


This documentary should be required viewing for all Americans.

If that sounds a little over the top to you, just call me a pole vaulter. Seriously, think about the MSM (mainstream media) for a second - how they are accountable to no one, and regulated only by politicians who routinely accept large amounts of money from them.

Who is left to check if the things we read every day, online and in the paper, or if the things we see and hear on the television and radio, are actually TRUE...or if they are only reported as such by a source no one is capable of questioning? Do you realize most of the news stories we read and presume are true come from just a handful of sources? Sure, you'll find the same story on, and in the Tribune, and see it on the news that night - but the source was the same. Who sets the agenda, deciding what and who we get to see on the news every night? These are some powerful folks, wouldn't you say? They're the ones who shape our thoughts, raise and dash our hopes, stoke our fears, and stir our conscience into action.

Check out that vid, kids. Then go watch the news. The rest of the documentary is available on You Tube or Google Video. Search for Orwell Rolls In His Grave.