MAP MY RUN!

I jog several times a week - not because I enjoy it, but because I know it's good for me. And because I feel less guilty eating crap food for lunch when I had a good run the night before. Sometimes I wonder how far I've run and try adding up the blocks in my head and equating them to rough miles. Somehow it never seems to be as far as I hoped it would be.

And then I stumbled upon this kick ass site called Map My Run. They basically let you zoom in on a Google Map and trace out your route block by block and turn by turn. The distance automatically adds up for you and - voila - you can see exactly how far you've gone. Found out that my standard trek along Lake Shore Drove from North and Clark to the southern end of Diversey Harbor and back is precisely 3miles long.

A little farther than I thought it'd be. Looks like I'm ready for that 5K next week after all.

THE HAMBURGLAR CALLETH

I love this one.

Authorities in Illinois finally tracked down a 4-year-old girl who called 911 nearly 300 times last month.

According to the report, she was calling from a deactivated cell phone without her mother's knowledge - and driving emergency dispatchers insane for a large portion of June. On the 287th call, they finally asked the little girl what she wanted and she said, "McDonald's."

So they said they would bring her McDonald's if she told them her address...which she did. Minutes later the police showed up at her suburban Chicago apartment - sans happy meal. The girl's mother promptly took away the cell phone.

Cute story - but the thing you need to know here is that, by federal law, deactivated cell phones are required to be able to access 911. Many will also contact an emergency center if the 9 key is held down. So hang onto those old, deactivated cell phones and keep them charged up - just in case. You never know when you might crave a late night Big Mac.

REQUIRED READING

Here's your homework for the 4th of July holiday.

Here's a little perspective on how and why our independence is under siege - and it's not terrorism we have to fear, but rather those who would have us fear it.

AND ANOTHER THING

Will someone take the fork out of McCain already - he's been done for months.

PARDON MOI?

"I respect the jury's verdict," Bush said in a statement. "But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive."

Case closed! Roll credits. Scooter scoots free.

Good thing we wasted all that taxpayer money trying (and convicting!) Cheney's scapegoat in a court of law so our nation's Great Decider Kim-Jong Bush could wave his magic wand and make it all go away.

There's clearly no point in having a legislative or a judicial branch of government in this country - they have little authority to do anything. The executive branch is calling all the shots. They make their own rules and then decide when to selectively enforce them. No checks. No balances. Oh wait - there was a check...I forgot. A BLANK one for the war in Iraq. Congress really stood their ground on that one, didn't they?

These assclowns are making a mockery of our country. It's downright embarrassing, frankly. Read Bush's statement again:

"I respect the jury's verdict, but I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive."

Well there you have it. Bush has concluded the sentence was excessive. This Scooter chump commits an act of treason in covering up for a bunch of other guys who committed treason and the ringleader of this cirque d' so-liars comes riding in on his white house horse at the last second to save the day.

Justice gets cornholed again.

BUYING A PRESIDENT

Excitement builds in the race for the Democratic nomination. While a lot of media reports are focusing on cash totals, and the fact that Obama just shattered some more fundraising records, a far more interesting statistic stands out to me: the donor toll.

Clinton: 60,000
Obama: 258,000

Clinton's money is coming from politically affiliated, big-money donors who shell out the max because they see her as good for business (and politics) as usual. As Michael Moore's new movie "Sicko" points out, she may as well be on the health insurance industry payroll, among others. Which raises the age-old question regarding money and politics: How can anyone who accepts that much money from any industry be expected to address issues objectively? The idea behind such donations are that they buy access and influence. They're business decisions made in the best interests of business people (read: the wealthy) and the companies and industries they represent.

Obama meanwhile, has proven attractive to many disillusioned, disenfranchised voters, who have identified an historic opportunity to buck the establishment trend. Obama has been resisting the very donations Clinton is counting on, depending instead on populist support. And the donor tolls would appear he is getting it. The fact that he needs 4X as many donors to equal the Clinton's haul points to a population ready for real change - and not just the novelty of having a woman in our nation's top office, or an African-American for that matter. But a return to the idea that our elected officials are supposed to represent "we the people" - not they the lobby.

And we the people are finally figuring it out. It takes money to prevent the special interests from hijacking our options for higher office. But together, as 258,000 people recently testified, this is something we CAN do. We don't have to settle for the oligarchic plutocracy of yet another term in the Bush-Clinton dynasty. We can break away like Kelly fucking Clarkson by electing a different kind of American Idol.

One that's bought and paid for with our own money for a change.

iTRANSFORM

There's a new movie coming out that I have absolutely no desire to see - but I'm sure it will be a runaway blockbuster hit. It's called Transformers, and if you click here you'll find some folks who would kill me for dissing their life passion.

Cool Halloween costumes, though.

SPANISH FLY?