Saturday, March 24, 2007



You've probably heard the name "Valerie Plame" before - maybe read a headline or two about her.

Or, perhaps, you clicked on a few links one day while you were too tired to think at work, hoping to catch up on the scandal that recently rocked Washington.

Or, more likely, you ignored the whole damn thing because it was too complicated a mess to devote much time to. Let's face it - we've got lives to live here. We work. We have obligations. We can't be up to speed on every little injustice in this world, even if it's one of the worst injustices our government has perpetrated on a living patriot.

We need our news in easy-to-digest bytes, and taking in the whole Plame/Rove/Cheney/Libby drama would require more chewing than a mile of beef jerky. I was going to attempt to break it all down for you because, well, that's what I used to do. Break shit down into byte size chunks. These days I'm too busy to break shit down - but not too busy to point you in the right direction.

The second half of Bill Maher's New Rules, which you can view here gives an EXCELLENT recap of the whole story in about two minutes. The best explanation I've seen yet...and certainly two minutes of American history in the making worth knowing if you find two minutes to spare.

The first half of his New Rules segment is pretty damn amusing, too.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007


Check this out.

So, for about a week now I've been experiencing this strange, warm sensation in my lower left leg.

It's not painful. There's no tightness. It just completely freaks me out.

What does it feel like? My front calf will just suddenly feel very warm for no reason between my ankle and my knee - almost as if that part of my leg is resting against a space heater. The warmth spreads and fades rapidly. It doesn't burn or ache, and when I touch that part of my leg with my hand it does not feel warm to the touch. The entire sensation occurs inside, and many times throughout the course of the day - always in the same location.

The first few times it happened, I would stand up and stretch and rub it out just because the feeling was so weird. Now it just happens and I ignore it. But I definitely feel it, and it naturally concerns me. So yesterday I did the absolute worst thing any hypochondriac can do: I googled my symptoms.

warm feeling in lower leg


The link above was the top match for my search. There were no other matches. I could find no explanations for the sensation on any website. Not a single medical resource documented a recurring warm feeling in that particular area as being symptomatic of anything serious. And yet the top match directed me to a men's health website where someone had posted a question regarding the very same sensation. And the chain of responses was nothing short of amazing. Apparently, this is a real thing. It's happening all over the place. Men are having a warm sensation in their lower left leg for no apparent reason.

I read through dozens and dozens of the follow-up posts. People had found the thread the same way I had - by typing in a similar string of words. And they all realized there were no other places to look...except here in this one place.

That's it. People describe their own experiences with the sensation. Many have reportedly gone to doctors anticipating a blood clot, but tests have revealed nothing. Others suggest ways to make the feeling go away. Some armchair physicians offer speculative diagnoses from pinched nerve to vitamin deficiency. After a thorough examination of the content, I was only certain of two things:

This is a popular, out-of-the-ordinary physical sensation that's been going on a lot lately and it has managed to elude credible medical explanation.

It forced me to draw a conclusion of my own. Friends, it is with great anxiety and sadness that I report to you this:

The ships are coming. Some of us are going home.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


Here's an interesting link sent to me earlier this week. It's a site that monitors the blogosphere for how people are feeling based on the words they use in creating posts. Kind of creepy, actually. You can even peek into actual lives by clicking on the dots to read how people are feeling. Then sort by geography or demographics to see how people like you are feeling today.

How bizarre.


Fair and balanced? Or "short" on integrity?

I report, you decide.


Shocking results were reported today from a study indicating that ONE-THIRD of the people living in our nation's capital are functionally illiterate. This is considered high when compared to about one-fifth of the population nationally.

People are considered functionally illiterate if they have trouble reading bus schedules, using maps, and filling out job applications.

Critics argue that the study's results are heavily skewed because the sample size was predominantly made up of members of Congress. Sure helps explain the Patriot Act.

A more representative sample of the actual population of Washington, D.C., including more of the city's poor and homeless, would likely lower the illiteracy rate significantly.

Monday, March 19, 2007


On the heels of that kick ass kung-fu sequence, I just had to post this British gem. It's a super violent finger gun battle royale.

You like!


I was anticipating a funny pay-off at the end of this amazing sequence, but it was not to be. Still - this has got to be one of the best un-cut action sequences ever filmed. Pay close attention to the fact that the camera never blinks or "cheats" behind walls. It is rolling non-stop and follows the action everywhere it goes. Unbelievable orchestration to pull of something as sophisticated as this.

Very well done! Check it out and then tell us what you think should have been behind the door at the end. This has viral marketing possibilities...


FLASHBACK: 2003. As the U.S. prepares to invade Iraq, the Pentagon predicts "shock and awe."

Well, I can certainly say that, as the war enters year 5, I am definitely in shock it has dragged on this long, and it completely awes me that we are sending more troops, not fewer.

Sunday, March 18, 2007


The number of adults 20-44 regularly taking pills to get sleep has DOUBLED in just the last four years. Over 40 million people medicating themselves to do something that's supposed to come naturally! Can you believe that? Better lives through pharmacy, eh? I do not think Tom Cruise would approve.

Here's a tip, by the way. If you have a hard time falling asleep at night, try waking up earlier in the morning. And if that doesn't work, wake up EARLIER. There is a point at which you will be tired enough to fall asleep. And you don't need insurance for the generic brand of medication I'm prescribing here. It's FREE!

The whole not being able to fall asleep thing has always baffled me. Sleeping is like eating and breathing - you need it to live. If you just wait long enough, I can guarantee you this, you're going to fall asleep. And yet so many more people are popping pills these days to get a good night's rest. The reason, of course, is control. Through the liberal prescription of designer medication, we can now control the exact hours we allow ourselves to sleep. No more of this "sleep when you're tired" bullshit. Modern life doesn't allow for haphazard scheduling of naturally occurring bodily functions. People have lives to run. There's working and shopping and sitting in traffic. We need to be awake for all of that, which means sleeping when we have a break in the action.

I guess I'm lucky when it comes to sleep. I've actually got the OPPOSITE thing going on. I can fall asleep pretty much on command. Give me a comfy couch and a cold pillow and I'll be out in under 10 minutes - any time of day. I'm not kidding. I'm borderline narcoleptic. I could nap right after breakfast. I don't know what my secret is. Fiber maybe.