Thursday, February 08, 2007

PEPPERMINTERNITY

I know it's a little early, but I couldn't resist. I just HAD to post these pictures of a pair of human skeletons wrapped in eternal embrace. They were uncovered at an archaeological dig site in Italy.





















I think this image would make for a good Certs ad.








"Breath-saving freshness that lasts a long, LONG time."

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

GANGSTAPELLA

This is an instant classic. I never realized the words were so dreadfully off-color. Kind of saddens me that there's a market for this ugly breed of hateful "crap" rap. At least the colelge kids in this clip knew to have fun with it. Well done!

And if you dig on that one, this dandy from Ben Folds is another winner. LOVE the literal slideshow graphics.

...AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER

Here's a copy of the field manual they're issuing to the 21,000 new troops Bush is sending over to Iraq.

ARE YOU READY FOR WEB 2.0?

This short film clip is pretty damn insightful. It's a visual description of the concept of the world wide web and an introduction to the next generation of this tremendously powerful virtual mind.

As I type and post this, I am actually teaching the web. Hard to imagine - but clearly the case. This web thing is fast becoming the stuff of science fiction literature.

AD IT UP

As usual, this year's Super Bowl commercials proved another disappointment. I think they were a bigger hit back when people tuned in to actually watch the game - not all the ads in between. Since there's been all of this hype about how cool and funny Super Bowl ads are supposed to be, expectations have run high. And as you know, expectations are the mother of disappointment.

That said, there were a few gems hidden in the rough. And here is a cool site where you can watch them all and vote for your favorite Super Bowl ads tournament style - bracket by bracket. I went through each round ad by ad and it is my professional opinion that Coke had the strongest spots. My final showdown was between e-Trade's "Things you can do with one finger" and Coke's "Vice City" which won my vote as best spot (but was only the 10th most popular ad according to this online resource).

If you've got a few minutes to browse around, check it out!

ONE DOLLAR CHILL

On top of record cold temperatures, it is now snowing here in the windy city. Several inches are expected to complete winter's inclement promise.

It was so cold this morning on my way to work that I actually saw a homeless man give another homeless man a dollar. I'm not kidding. Right under the Damen overpass before Webster I saw a raggedy homeless dude handing an even more destitute fellow a frozen dollar bill. You know it's cold when the homeless are helping out the homeless.

I think if I had a ton of disposable cash and nothing to do all day, I'd buy a huge sack of McDonald's cheeseburgers and drive around the city tossing them at hungry street folks. I like to think I'd do that, anyhow. In reality, I'd probably fire up a brand new XBOX and order a large pizza.

REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

My buddy JB sent me a link this morning to the news story about San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsome. Perhaps you heard of him. He first grabbed the national headlines when he championed same-sex marriage, defying a California law that denied gay folks the right to tie the knot. He became an overnight sensation...almost bigger than Cher...until the court got involved and ordered the city to go back to discriminating based on orientation like the rest of the state.

Gavin found the spotlight again recently when it was revealed that he'd been having an affair with the wife of his campaign manager. Imagine busting your ass tirelessly night and day for months on end to support someone you believe will make a real difference - and the whole time he's also been running for your wife's orifice.

Yesterday, Gavin announced he will be following in the footsteps of all public figures who get caught saying and doing bad things: he's entering rehab for alcohol abuse! Although the PC phrasology these days is for "alcohol use," not "alcohol abuse." Abuse sounds like a problem.

So let's sing - all together now! For he's a jolly good fellow...

Newsome's official statement is straight out of the damage control handbook:

"Upon reflection with friends and family this weekend, I have come to the conclusion that I will be a better person without alcohol in my life. I take full responsibility for my personal mistakes and my problems with alcohol are not an excuse for my personal lapses in judgment."

Do you notice how they always include that line about alcohol not being an excuse for their behavior? I suppose it's an attempt to own up and take responsibility, but how can it be taken seriously when it's attached to a rehab announcement? The whole point to announcing treatment in the first place is to provide an excuse for bad behavior. Why would you go out of your way to make a public announcement that you're entering rehab if not to provide an excuse? Yeah...he's taking FULL responsibility for his actions - even if alcohol made him do it.

Monday, February 05, 2007

BUMPER STICKERS

Here's an abridged list of bumper stickers I found online. Kudos to the fine minds behind some of these gems!

****************

• On an infant's shirt): Already Smarter Than BUSH

• 1/20/09: End of an Error

• That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

• Let's Fix Democracy in THIS Country first!

• If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President

• Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

• IMPEACHMENT: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore

• America : One Nation, Under Surveillance

• They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It

• Cheney/Satan '08

• JAIL to the Chief

• Who Would Jesus Torture?

• No, Seriously, WHY Did We Invade?

• We Need a President Who's Fluent In English

• We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

• Is It Vietnam Yet?

• Bush Doesn't Care About The White People, Either

• Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?

• The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

HI BURN 8

It is a cold day in Chicago.

A winter city once warm inside from the many sweet wines of victory now shivers in the bitter cold chill of defeat. The streets outside my window are quiet as the thermometer flirts with zero; salt-encrusted steel machines smoke on the boulevard - the only signs of life on this deathly frigid day. Puxtawhatever Phil tells us there is to be an early spring this year, but it is difficult to even imagine the season to come when the world remains so firmly in winter's grip.

Everything seems to crawl to a halt when it's this cold - myself included. Just as the molecules outside slow to a quivering array of frozen matter, we the breathing particles in this system too seem to slow. Information processes slowly. Movement feels impeded by invisible arms. I am perpetually on sleep's edge. It is a daily struggle to find the energy required to maintain the simplest of routines.

We are all just a few waking hours from hibernation. Just a couple of tasks and meals a day from sleeping as the mighty Bears, conserving energy for another go around the sun - which for all its fiery mass is only capable of teasing us now, even while it sustains us.

Nap anyone?

I SEE YOU!