Wednesday, July 02, 2008

INDEPENDENCE DAY EXAMINATION

As we get set to celebrate another fine year of independence from the Redcoats, I thought it appropriate that I administer a POP QUIZ. Don't worry, I took it first to make sure it was something you could handle. It's not that hard. It's a citizenship test and all Americans should be able to pass it. Can you?

Take the test right now!

For your reference, I scored 95%, missing just one question (#19). I hope you beat me, but doubt you will. I am very, very smart...and you are, well, sometimes you get your shoes on the right feet.

That's right...I'm trash talking. Now go take the test and find out whether you're worthy of calling yourself an American. Sorry, there's no version en espanol. English is the official language here, after all. For now, anyhow. That will be changing soon at the rate Mexico is spilling into the southwest - a large part of which, incidentally, had actually been part of Mexico at one point. So perhaps we shouldn't call it illegal immigration, but rather The Formerly Mexico Reclamation Project.

So what did you get? On the test. You didn't take it yet? Go now and find out if you bleed red, white, and blue. And no, I don't mind if you marvel at my greatness. That's what gets me out of bed most mornings.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

PEOPLE ARE FUNNY

Gotta love one-upsmanship in the shitter.

I SEE YOU!