BEATING THE HEAT

Steven Hawking says we’re in trouble. And when Steven fucking Hawking says we’re in trouble, we’re really in trouble.

Who is Steven Hawking? WHO is Steven HAWKING? You did NOT just ask me that. He’s the ultimate brain – a brilliant mind, and a man whose health has been steadily deteriorating over the years due to ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). He’s now a quadriplegic who no longer has the ability to speak. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a lot to say about what’s going on in the world.

First the credentials. Hawking is perhaps the world’s most renowned theoretical physicist, and a man you would not want to challenge to mathematical duel. He would stomp all over you with complex equations and bury you under a truckload of digits – all correct to the last decimal point. Some have even suggested Steven Hawking approaches me intellectually. A stretch, to be sure, but the comparison should give you a pretty good idea of the mental powerhouse we’re dealing with here. Wait – did I say he approached ME intellectually? I’m sorry. I meant Sir Isaac Newton. Sorry, I always get the two of us mixed up. Newton had a better wig – I have the much heavier testicles. Sorry, Newton – gravity says so!

Anyhow, Steven Hawking – a fucking master of science, math, physics, and one of the great mental powerhouses of our time – is now on record as saying we’re in trouble. It all started last week when he warned that global warning posed an imminent threat to the health and safety of everyone on the planet. To drive this point home he made the assertion that, to survive, the human race would have to colonize elsewhere in space. He suggested an eventual colony on Mars by way of a base on the moon.

Then, just this week, he publicly stated at a conference in China that he’s “very worried about global warming.” He went on to say that he’s worried the Earth “might end up like Venus, at 250 degrees centigrade and raining sulfuric acid.”

If this doesn’t sound like science fiction to you, you need to read more science fiction. Of course, Hawking isn’t hawking fiction here. He’s pitching science. He’s legitimately concerned with the numbers, and the numbers foretell of an irreversible warming trend with apocalyptic consequences. Can you even imagine a handful of humans on a moon colony, clinging to survival, watching the earth boil from a safe distance - inhabitable? This is where the top scientific minds of our time are taking us.

I know a lot of people will have a hard time taking tips from a man who can no longer dress himself (and I’m talking about me here, not Steven Hawking), but we really need to consider taking action on this – and now. I’m not suggesting we, as individuals, need to curb our individual energy consumption. This isn't your patent go-ride-a-bike speech. While that would be a start, small-scale changes liek that aren’t going to make a whole lot of difference in the grand scheme unless we take on the policies directing energy consumption on a much larger scale. Let's face facts: money buys influence, and oil money has a stranglehold on U.S. policymaking at the highest level. Our fuel consumption standards are among the worst in the world. Our consumption per capita as a people is dramatically higher than anywhere else in the world. And instead of joining the world in an effort to curb harmful emissions, we abandon Kyoto to protect a reckless agenda of selfish consumerism and gluttonous consumption.

There are immediate ways to address the problem – but we need decision-makers in high places willing and able to take dramatic steps toward preserving our common future. Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to promote global health through advancing the election of representation dedicated to restoring it.

Your vote isn’t just your voice anymore – it’s your thermostat. And when Steven Hawking says it's time to turn the heat down, we probably ought to listen. Hopefully we'll have better luck than the Dallas Mavericks.