APRIL FOOLS NEEDS NEW RULES

April Fool’s Day came and went and I didn’t play a single prank on a single person. I usually send out at least one e-mail to my closest friends announcing something shocking. Not this year. This year was prank-free.

Is it just me or is April Fool’s Day losing steam? I personally think people have become so jaded and joke-savvy, it’s nearly impossible to fool anyone anymore. We wake up expecting pranks, so the element of surprise is gone. Maybe we ought to change things up a little bit and start playing April Fool’s Day jokes on every OTHER day of the year. Make April 1st the only prank-free day – a day off from a busy year full of clever ruses and mean-spirited shenanigans.

April Fools needs new rules. Right now we’re just too savvy for our own good. Think about all of the BAD shit that actually happened on April 1st. All the car accidents across the country. All the people given bad medical news. All the people who broke up with people. Life doesn’t stop on April 1st so we can all play jokes on each other – real shit happened to real people. Now imagine these folks trying to share their bad news with anyone on that day. Pretty much any story - particularly good, tragically bad, or exceedingly ugly, is going to be suspicious on April 1st.



“You’re kidding right? April Fool’s? Ha – you got me!”

“No, Brian – my dad really has cancer. You’re such an asshole sometimes.”


This conversation, and conversations like it, went on all over the place last weekend. People trying to talk about serious shit had to break the Fool barrier – a society obsessed with pulling pranks, if only for a day.


“You really expect me to believe that you ran over Roscoe P. Coltrane with the Land Rover? I’m not buying that for one second. Here Roscoe! Come Roscoe! Where are ya boy?!”

“No – I REALLY did. It was horrible! There was a single yelp and then nothing.”

“Right. Whatever. Come on – where is my furry little sheriff?”



Or, maybe, somewhere, it worked to someone’s unexpected advantage.



“Jeff – someone called here earlier saying she was your girlfriend.”

“Oh, honey. Please. I can explain.”

“No need. I understand completely.”

“You do? You understand?”

“Yes, Jeff. I get it. April Fool’s Day. Your ‘girlfriend’ calls. Ha ha.”

“Right. April Fool’s Day! Pretty good one, huh? Bet that had you going.”

“Please, Jeff. If you’re going to play an April Fool’s joke on someone, at least make it believable. Like any girl would have anything to do with your fat, balding ass. I played right along with her.”

“You did? What did you say?”

“I told her I was your wife and that it was good to finally know where your herpes came from. She must have been speechless because she hung up right away. Who was she anyhow? Didn’t sound like your secretary.”



I think next year I’m going to pull out the jokes a day or two early to reinstate the element of surprise. I'm breaking out new rules for April Fools!