Friday, March 10, 2006

NEWS FOR THE SOMEWHAT OUT OF TOUCH

Have you noticed how a lot of news these days really isn’t news at all? Consider all of the blockbuster stories from just the past week.

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The bachelor and his pick to click are no longer seeing one another. Actually, they were never really seeing one another. Following the taping of the final show, producers forbid the two would-be lovebirds from spending any time together for the purpose of keeping Dr. Bachelor’s selection a secret. That secret is what made the show a draw each week. Both the bachelor and his prize pick now claim that the 4 months between their Paris matchmaking adventure and now have forced them apart. Makes the feelings they confessed to one another sound about as genuine as Barry Bonds.

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Speaking of Barry…I’m sure you heard the word on his ass. Literally. Barry did steroids. Ho hum. Anything else we need to know? The difference this time is that the book detailing his rampant abuse was written by a couple of respected journalists – not an ex-ball player with dollar signs in his eyes. Everybody (yes, everybody) has been suspecting it all along, but no one has been able to prove anything – probably because people who use steroids don’t keep videotaped journals of their asscapades. The book reportedly describes Barry’s steroid regimen in such detail it would be virtually impossible to refute. Nevertheless, the story has been refuted.

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Here’s another shocker for you. According to the AP, a report on the Roman Catholic archdiocese of Dublin says over 100 priests are suspected of sexually or physically abusing AT LEAST 350 children since 1940. Frightening how sexual predators gravitate to a career in the cloth, where the twisted interests of their libido can be served under the protection of service to God. Is there a pervert handbook that recommends the priesthood to aspiring child molesters? I don’t understand how so many pedophiles wind up becoming champions of morality.

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Interior secretary Gale Norton resigned today. Another one of Bush’s cabinet members bailing for “personal” reasons. Shock! I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did. There’s more turnover in the Bush Administration than the late-night shift at Taco Bell. Bush’s approval rating, meanwhile, continues to plummet, reaching its all-time low this week at just 37%. For comparison, Clinton and Reagan both enjoyed approval ratings in the mid-60s at this point in their second terms. Doesn’t look like Dubya will be receiving an Employee of the Month plaque.

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What else? Iran threatened the U.S. with “harm and pain” over our insistence that the nation be referred to the U.N. Security Council over the suspected pursuit of nuclear arms. La-dee-da. People in the Middle East shaking their fists at America’s interventionist foreign policy. That’s not news – that’s par for the couscous.

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So yeah – no real surprises this week. Just more of the same news packaged as information you need to know, when all you really need to know is that none of this matters to the hamster tirelessly trotting away in a little spinning wheel in the basement of the sun, keeping it burning bright while we pretend life is all about us.

When the hamster gets tired, we all go away.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have a theory on why the priests to pedophiles ratio is so high.
Catholic priests are required to take the oath of celibacy. I suspect many men enter the priesthood with the best of intentions but they struggle to control their natural sexual urges. Over time the more they battle to contain their desires the more the desires turn toxic. Young catholic children who share a proximity with these priests are most vulnerable and become natural targets of some of these frustrated men of cloth.
The rate of sexual abuse of kids is not nearly as high amongst protestant clergy.
Like I said, only a theory...

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