Thursday, January 19, 2006


Guess who’s back on the radar?

No, not HIM. Guess again.

No, seriously. Guess again.

Okay, I can see this is going to take awhile. I'll just tell you. That slippery bastard Osama Bin Awfullyquiet! Yeah, really. I was just starting to miss that guy, too.

Apparently the Al-Jizonya network was delivered an audio tape with the voice of O…O Sa-ma.

O…O Sa-ma.

Sorry, just busted into a little Ready For the World there. I couldn’t help it. You know how it is. Anyhow, according to the Chief of Turban Warfare, more death and destruction are in the works…UNLESS…and that’s a BIG unless (which is why I capped it)…UNLESS we take him up on his truce offer. Yes, Osama is offering the United States of Infidelia a truce. The details of the truce are a little bizarre, but no one’s ever accused that Brokeback Fugitive of being conventional. According to the tape, El Terrorino is offering peace with all Muslims in exchange for a pimped out Volkswagen bus, ten crisp two-dollar bills, a garlic-flavored Slurpee named “Hawk” after Bruce Willis’ least memorable role, a carton of Virginia Slims Ultra Lights, and a foot rub from G-Dub himself.

Bush has not officially responded to the truce offer, but insiders say a counter offer is not likely to include the foot rub. Most are guessing it will, on the other hand, include a long hearty chuckle and a big fuck you.

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