TRAINING WHEELS

I recently saw a t-shirt that read, simply, “Boys are dumb." I think the shirt is supposed to be a joke, but there IS some truth to it. The fact is, we ARE dumb – most of us unapologetically so, especially when it comes to girls. But I'm lucky. I have Geri to help me understand things. I seem to learn something new and important about women and relationships every single day.

Geri explained to me just the other day, for instance, that a man should never use the word "big" to describe any part of the female anatomy - other than her "boobs," of course. That was an important one to remember, she assured me, and I have not erred in that vein since.

What else have I learned? Lots of stuff!

Visible nose hairs are bad.

While they may LOOK the same, white, stone, and cream are very different colors and telling them apart is helpful when buying clothes or getting dressed.

Buttoning your shirt’s top button isn’t cool. In fact, even the second button is considered a little conservative these days, unless you’re not wearing a t-shirt and have a chest like a Sasquatch.

If you DO wear an undershirt, the cut of its collar should not match the cut of your top. In other words, a v-neck t-shirt with a v-neck sweater is a v-no-no.

Don’t pick at your pimples.

When faced with the dilemma of where to eat, the boy should just pick a restaurant.

It doesn't matter what you THINK you smell, a girl fart does not stink.

Flowers may die, but they never get old…so keep bringing ‘em.

Coffee is not considered a complete breakfast.

Not only is it okay for boys to iron their own clothes, it is encouraged.

Old socks and underwear should be thrown away, even if they only have a couple holes in them.

When girls get dressed to go out, it's for other girls, not boys.

Cornstarch spray is for your clothes and PAM is for cooking, not the other way around.

The elevator isn’t the only place you should let ladies get off first.