Wednesday, October 12, 2005

KNOW YOUR NASCAR!

Oh boy are you kids in for some fun today! Yeeeeeeeee----ha!!!!

Don't ask me why, but I recently had to come up with a NASCAR quiz here at work. Sometimes my job can be borderline fun. Now...I'm NOT a NASCAR fan, but I did enjoy getting to know more about the fastest growing spectator sport in America. (Did you think it was extreme ironing? I did too.) Anyhow, most of you may only have a passing familiarity with the sport. In fact, I am going to assume this is the case by virtue of the fact you are able to read this. For the those of you wholly unaware that people can earn a living driving like cab drivers on a closed circuit track, NASCAR is that auto race where colorful cars whip around and around making a lot of left hand turns in front of tens of thousands of drunk good ole boys sporting mullets. Okay, that's not so true anymore. These days there are a lot of drunk good ole gals sporting mullets, too.

Start your engines, folks...here's my NASCAR quiz. The answers can be seen by clicking on Comments below...

1.) Happy Hour is the nickname for:

a. The first practice of the season
b. The last practice session prior to race day
c. The celebration immediately following the race
d. The last hour of the Daytona 500
e. Ted Kennedy

2.) How many cars start each race?
a. 43
b. 47
c. 50
d. 27
e. None – they don’t start themselves, a driver must start them

3.) NASCAR racecars are equipped with 358 cubic inch engines that, unrestricted, can generate:
a. 550 horsepower.
b. 690 horsepower
c. 730 horsepower
d. Over 800 horsepower
e. A lot of bad press

4.) The temperature can approach ___ degrees inside the car during the race?
a. 100 degrees
b. 120 degrees
c. 140 degrees
d. 190 degrees
e. 6 degrees of separation

5.) A driver can lose what during the course of a race?
a. Feeling in both hands
b. Viscosity
c. 5-10 pounds
d. Sense of smell
e. Rectal virginity

6.) Why does a NASCAR vehicle have roof flaps?
a. For improved aerodynamics
b. To keep rain out of the vehicle
c. To prevent the car from rolling over
d. NASCAR vehicles don’t have roof flaps
e. Roof flaps are for sissies like Jeff Gordon

7.) A single NASCAR racecar tire weighs:
a. 50 pounds
b. 75 pounds
c. 100 pounds
d. 175 pounds
e. More than Star Jones

8.) Drafting creates:
a. Friction
b. A vacuum
c. Thermal displacement
d. Decelerative momentum
e. Fancy Blueprints

9.) The Restrictor Plate
a. Decreases horsepower
b. Decreases exhaust
c. Decreases risk of a rolling over
d. All of the above
e. Keeps Kirstie Alley away from the Cherry Danish

10.) During a race, the driver’s pulse:
a. Is elevated by 10%
b. Is at 85% of maximum
c. Remains unchanged
d. Fluctuates wildly from start to finish
e. Increases when the guest Crew Chief is Heidi Klum

11.) A driver’s helmet weighs around 3 pounds, but on banked turns, pulling between 2.5 and 5Gs, it feels:
a. Like 15 pounds
b. Weightless
c. Like 40 pounds
d. The same
e. Headless

12.) If a car’s windshield gets smeared with track debris or other cars' fluids during the race,
a. The driver completes the race as is
b. The driver pits to replace the windshield
c. The pit crew peels off the windshield’s outer layer
d. The pit crew uses a high-powered solution to clean it off
e. The driver uses a hand towel while he is driving to clear off a spot
13.) What is used to inflate the tires on a NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series racecar?
a. Good old-fashioned air
b. Hydrogen
c. Helium
d. Nitrogen
e. Hootie’s Blowfish

14.) How many laps does the typical driver usually go before making a pit stop?
a. 10
b. 60-65
c. 90-95
d. 120-125
e. Depends how many beers he had for breakfast

15. Many early NASCAR drivers learned their racing skills:
a. Running from the law as bootleggers
b. Driving cabs in New York City
c. As stunt drivers in Hollywood
d. Watching Smokey & the Bandit
e. Playing Pole Position

16. The fastest NASCAR track is:
a. Daytona International Speedway
b. The Brickyard
c. Talladega Superspeedway
d. Infineon Raceway
e. The one that really gets around, so to speak

17. The first NASCAR competition held outside the U.S. was in:
a. Mexico
b. Japan
c. Aruba
d. Canada
e. Texas

18. The closest finish in NASCAR history was when Ricky Craven beat Kurt Busch at Darlington on March 16, 2003. His margin of victory was just:
a. 2 seconds
b. .585 seconds
c. .002 seconds
d. .102 seconds
e. An illusion

1 comment:

AYNtK said...

1.) Happy Hour is the nickname for:
b. The last practice session prior to race day

2.) How many cars start each race?
a. 43

3.) NASCAR racecars are equipped with 358 cubic inch engines that, unrestricted, can generate:
d. Over 800 horsepower

4.) The temperature can approach ___ degrees inside the car during the race?
c. 140 degrees

5.) A driver can lose what during the course of a race?
c. 5-10 pounds

6.) Why does a NASCAR vehicle have roof flaps?
c. To prevent the car from rolling over

7.) A single NASCAR racecar tire weighs:
b. 75 pounds

8.) Drafting creates:
b. A vacuum

9.) The Restrictor Plate
a. Decreases horsepower

10.) During a race, the driver’s pulse:
b. Is at 85% of maximum

11.) A driver’s helmet weighs around 3 pounds, but on banked turns, pulling between 2.5 and 5Gs, it feels:
a. Like 15 pounds

12.) If a car’s windshield gets smeared with track debris or other cars' fluids during the race,
c. The pit crew peels off the windshield’s outer layer

13.) What is used to inflate the tires on a NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series racecar?
d. Nitrogen

14.) How many laps does the typical driver usually go before making a pit stop?
b. 60-65

15. Many early NASCAR drivers learned their racing skills:
a. Running from the law as bootleggers

16. The fastest NASCAR track is:
c. Talladega Speedway

17. The first NASCAR competition held outside the U.S. was in:
d. Canada

18. The closest finish in NASCAR history was when Ricky Craven beat Kurt Busch at Darlington on March 16, 2003. His margin of victory was just:
c. .002 seconds

KEY:
16-18 - You're a closet fan. Don't lie to me, dammit! There's know way you could get that many right without giving a damn.
13-15 - You're a very good guesser and weren't lured into selecting my fun "e" options.
10-12 - This is about where I'd suspect most people would end up on sheer luck.
6-9 - My pet monkey scored a 7.
0-5 - You really had fun picking "e" for every answer, didn't you. Now go back and be serious for Pete's sake.

I SEE YOU!