I know you love these true news stories. Imagine you're driving along a mountain road in the middle of winter when an avalanche of snow suddenly sloughs free of the hillside and buries your car. It’s dark and silent. Your sense of gravity kicks in as you try to figure out which way is up. You’re more than a little bit scared, and you can’t help but start to feel claustrophobic. In a word, you’re feeling fucked. Things are looking bad. Real bad. Hopeless even.
Not if you’ve got beer! A man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it. Yes, this is a true story. Rescue teams found Richard Kral staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains. Lucky for him, he was cold-filtered and fully kreusened. Rich described how, after the avalanche buried his car, he opened his window and tried to dig his way out. But as he dug with his hands, he realized the snow was going to fill his car before he would be able to dig all the way out. Richard was discouraged in that moment, so he cracked one of the 60 bottles of beer he had in the car with him (because you never know, I guess). He says that's when it dawned on him. He would urinate on the snow to melt it!
“I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there.”
Moral: Sometimes heavy drinking WILL solve all your problems.
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