Tuesday, January 08, 2008


I was recently sent these "redneck" pick-up lines and found them quite amusing. I shared them with my bride-to-be (yes, I am getting married - in case you haven't heard) and she laughed aloud at a number of them. In fact, she told me that if a guy ever tried one of these on her, she'd probably end up talking to him.

The lines are so obnoxious and unexpected, they're actually amusing - and a refreshing change of pace from the standard crap girls are used to hearing. In other words, these lines are so crazy they just might work! And since I can't experiment with them myself, I share the wealth with you.

Take notes all you single cats. One of these awkward come-ons may get your foot in the door...which might get your something else in something else. Just be sure to report back your progress.

Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away.

Are your parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Cuz I can see myself in 'em.

Fat Penguin.................Sorry. I just wanted to say somethin' that would break the ice.

I know I'm not no Fred Flinstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

If you're gonna regret this in the morning, we can sleep til afternoon.

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up!!!

1 comment:

John said...

but you missed:

You sure don't sweat much for a fat girl.