Monday, March 05, 2007


Here's a bit of SPAM I received today that I thought I'd share because I found it amusing. I took the liberty of editing the awkward parts for effect. Not a bad concept here!


I want to live my next life backwards:

I want to start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then I'll wake up aching and forgetful in an old folks home where I'll start feeling better and better by the day.
After years of sleeping and eating, I'll get kicked out for being too healthy.
So I'll join the world, collect a pension and social security benefits.
I'll enjoy a nice long retirement, take up some new hobbies, travel, and curse electironics.
Then one day I'll be so bored out of my mind I'll finally start working - and I'll get a gold watch on my very first first day!
I'll put in a good 40 years working, taking on less and less responsibility until I'm finally young enough to go to college.
There I'll drink liberal amounts of alcohol, experiment with drugs, and party promiscuously into the twilight of my years.
After college, I'll reluctantly go to high school where I'll keep drinking; then off to primary school, where I'll grow younger and younger, play sports and video games, and basically enjoy a life free of responsibilities.
After that I'll become an infant, blissfully crapping my shorts, belching and farting as I like, and having somene essentially take care of me night and day.

Finally, I'll spend my last 9 months floating peacefully in luxurious, spa-like conditions - climate controlled, room service, etc. - sleeping and eating in an exceedingly comfortable darkness until a sudden moment when I am born hard and fast in a relatively short, but powerfully, pleasing orgasm.

Sure sounds a whole lot better than the deal we've got worked out now!

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