IT'S NOT EASY EATING GREEN

Have you ever had a salad that really hit the spot?

Me neither.

Been trying to eat healthier of late and not having an easy go of it. I have identified a direct correlation between taste satisfaction and the number of fat grams per serving. The higher the fat grams per serving, the more I enjoy the food. That's not to say I can't enjoy a plain roast beef sandwich at Subway with less than 6g of fat. I do get those sometimes and find them somewhat satisfying. Just no where near as satisfying as when I double the meat, smother it in cheese, and douse it in horseradish. Now THAT'S a sandwich. Don't forget the bag of Cheetos.

I'm training my tastebuds to appreciate foods with less fat and it's not easy. I grew up on fat. Red meat. Real butter. Crisco. Homemade baked goods and a pantry full of deep fried snacks. You can't just quit that shit cold turkey. You need to cut back little by little until a tomato and imitation bacon bit sandwich makes the mouth water. But for now, every fork full of lettuce I stuff into my piehole feels like an abandoned garnish lost and longing for its greasy, half-pound Angus host.

I will reunite you tonight my green, leafy lunch. There will be meat on the menu come dinner time.