Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Here's some exciting news from the land of terror. A website is claiming that 7 NFL football stadiums will be targeted with radiological dirty bombs this weekend, but don't worry - the government has expressed doubts about the threat.

The warning was posted last week as part of an ongoing Internet conversation creatively titled "New Attack on America Be Afraid." It specifically mentioned NFL stadiums in New York, Miami, Atlanta, Seattle, Houston, Oakland and Cleveland. My first thought was, "Good thing the Bears have a bye this week." (I've actually got tickets to the game the week after next)

The Homeland Security Department has since alerted authorities and stadium owners in those cities, as well as the NFL, of the potential threat, but said that it was being viewed "with strong skepticism." After all, why would terrorists go after teams with a combined record of 13-24? Miami? Cleveland? Houston? Those sporting environments are already polluted enough with poor play - I mean, chances are a dirty bomb wouldn't even be noticed in Oakland.

I personally think there should be a man-law against conducting terrorist activities during NFL operating hours. What do we think - man-law? Launching attacks during NFL games will henceforth be considered a neutral-zone infraction and punishable by 15 yards and a loss of Jihad.

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