Friday, October 20, 2006


I love corresponding with Nigerian Scam Artists. I actually had one turn me down this week, which was a first. Most people delte them, but I LOVE reading those long, drawn-out stories about how they identified ME somehow as the next of kin to some wealthy businessman who was killed in an overseas accident. And how they want to liquidate their estate but have run into some legal problems and need me to claim the money so that we can split my "relative's" millions. I usually respond by describing how excited I am to have received the e-mail and start detailing how I plan to use the money once we have gone through with the transaction. Then I like to start a dialogue and go back and forth for a while until the scammer starts getting frustrated with me, at which point I reveal that I am not who I claimed to be, but instead an undercover agent working with the United Nations task force on internet fraud called Cyberstrike. They never seem to reply to that one!

Anyhow, this week I decided to try a new tactic. When the scammer ran through all of the details and offered me the standard 60/40 split - 60% for him and 40% for me - I decided to counter. I demanded 70% of the estate for helping him out, and then concluded with, 'So - deal or no deal?"

The guy writes back:

"Dear Mr. Fujita - no deal."

Can you believe the nerve of that third world criminal? He's got no room to bargain with me. I'm calling the shots, I told him. After all, I was NEXT OF KIN. He needed me. I was his ticket to fortune. But it was going to cost him.

No deal.

These scam artists are starting to get a little full of themselves, don't you think?

I don't like being told no, so I'm actually thinking about coming down. I'll let you know how it goes.

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