HAIR MANAGEMENT 101

This here's a jam for all the fellas,
Try to do what those ladies tell us...

Yeah, I'm talking about the lesser-known faux-hygienic art of "manscaping." Many of you are not strangers the routine of trimming upper body fur, cutting back the creep of chest hair that pushes like ivy from below your collar line. Some of you may even go so far as to use a straight razor in pulling the hair border back behind your buttons. While these manscaping exercises can make a real aesthetic difference, the girls tell me there are other places we should be directing that blade.

Encroaching back hair, for example, while unavoidable, is entirely manageable. It usually starts as a few stray hairs here and there, which eventually blossom into hair patches over time. For some, these hair patches spread like wildfire until there is complete coverage. And there's nothing you can do about that - it's genetic. But you CAN do something about it once it's there. I find if I do the proper stretching exercises beforehand, I can actually reach most of mine with a disposable razor. Yes, really. Excessive hair on the upper arms and shoulders should also be given your attention if you plan on being outdoors without a shirt - or intimate with someone who might appreciate the added attention to detail. If you can't reach these areas, a little wax treatment can go a long way toward improving your desirability.

Finally, and most importantly, men must become comfortable with the idea of trimming our nether-hedges. It's only fair. If women are expected to keep a tidy hairline down there, we should afford them the same courtesy. It's really not that difficult to do - and the result, I don't mind sharing, is a decidedly more robust-looking package, making the activity a win-win proposition. Here's what you do:

Just grab a fistful of the curly stuff and pull it away from your body. Then run some scissors in the space between and clip. I recommend performing this over a garbage can...and sober. Go ahead and clip it down nice and short. Don't worry - your nuts won't freeze off. Once the excess brush is taken care of, use a straight razor where it makes sense to shape the borders. You could shave the whole thing away if you choose - but that brand of barren manscape is typically reserved for the porno male. I do not recommend the Mr. Clean Machine. But definitely give the rest of that area a good buzz every few weeks - it's easy and relatively safe. I've been doing it for years and have been accident free for most of them.

One final note: Do not ask a barber to trim that up for you.

So there you have it...hair management 101. Your lady will love the new you - you're welcome!