ARMED AND DANGEROUS

You've undoubtedly seen this photo of the three-armed baby born in China. Doctors have been steeped in debate over whether or not they should remove the infant boy's third arm so he might live a "normal" life. That had some friends of mine thinking - maybe he'd prefer a life less normal. Maybe a third arm wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Let's consider some of the many great things this gifted child might go on to become:







- A bad ass drummer, and three times better than that dude in Def Leppard

- A proud lifetime sponsor for Speedstick

- A very dangerous professional boxer

- An expert juggler

- The most gifted pianist the world has ever known

- A one-man baseball pitching staff - starter, middleman, and reliever. When one arm gets tired, go on to the next one.

- An extremely effective massage therapist

- A super handy handyman


And these occupational considerations don't take into account the many other ways a person might benefit from an extra arm:


Safer driver: Enjoying a hot Starbucks beverage with both hands on the wheel.

Better lover: Whoa! Where'd that extra hand come from. Do that again!

Heavy lifter: Imagine the groceries this guy could lug up two flights of stairs with an extra limb!

Party favor: Don't look now, but that guy over in the corner is triple fisting it.

Sports and music fan: Can actually clap and hold a beer at the same time.

Healthier: How nice to have a designated hand for coughing, sneezing, and wiping only.



And do you know how dangerous this guy would be in a snowball fight?

This third arm "defect" could be an evolutionary gift, the next step in natural selection's plan. Unless, of course, it has no motor function. Then it probably ought to go the way of the tail.