THE COLLAPSE OF EASTERN CIVILIZATION

Did you know there's a Starbucks on the Great Wall of China? No joke. Word is they actually plan to open five more.

Looks like American Coffee Flu has made its way East. Anthropologists are uncertain whether it spread via trade winds from west to east around the globe, or whether it was carried west across the Pacific on a trans-oceanic flight from Seattle to Beijing. No matter - now that it's there, the pandemic is predicted to wreak widespread havoc on the Orient. No one is safe from the clutches of morning coffee.