Friday, January 27, 2006


Israel has ruled out peace talks with the Palestinian government now that it is controlled by the radical Islamist group Hamas. Ruling out peace talks, incidentally, is a strategy that has never once in the history of mankind led to peace. And with Iran ramping up their nuclear program, it’s really only a matter of time before there’s all out nuclear war in the Middle East. The Doomsday Machine is warming up…so if there's anything you'd like to do in your life, do it now. You've probably only got a few years left before WWIII.

Meanwhile, back here in the States, we’re more concerned with things like gay cowboys and washed-up celebrity dance-offs. And did you hear that Reese Witherspoon was given the same dress to wear for this year’s Golden Globe Awards as Kirsten Dunst three years ago? Of course you did – it was big NEWS.

There’s bigger news out there. Like the president’s support for warrantless surveillance. Two years ago he said it was illegal and not something his administration supported. Now he’s saying it’s a necessary evil in the war on terror. What changed between then and now? He got caught doing it – that’s what changed. Privacy and freedom are being painted over one small presidential stroke at a time. But who can argue if it’s all in the name of home security?

“They that would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."

Contrary to popular belief, these words do not belong to Benji F. They were included in a book he helped publish, but Ben did not write them. That doesn't make them any less powerful or relevant, however. Our Commander in Chief is making sure he has absolute authority on all matters of security in order to be effective in the war on terror, when absoulte authority clearly conflicts with the ideals that make our country great. Consider Russia. They've always gone about things a little differently, censoring the media, spying on citizens, etc., and they've been no more successful combatting the Islamic Chechen rebels than we were at preventing a handful of religious zealots from thrusting a fiery blade into our gut and altering the course of history. Making us less free does not necessarily make us more safe.

If anything, it makes us more scared. Not only do we fear the terrorists, we come to distrust and resent the people we presume are protecting us from them.

But this is just one of many topics of discussion I'd suggest is more relevant to our lives than whose party Paris Hilton ended up at last weekend, as newsworthy as that is.

You know what else is news? There’s a man about to be confirmed for the Supreme Court who many believe will attempt to overturn Roe v. Wade. Democrats oppose the decidedly conservative Alito, while Republicans support him. Ho hum...what else is new? And because the Republicans are in control of Congress, Alito will be confirmed next Tuesday. Why is this news? Because this guy's his rulings, like all of the Supreme Court’s rulings, will have the power to change America - and, more importantly, your life. But never mind that – did you see American Idol this week? Yeah - that was some funny shit.

I wonder what those three would have to say about Alito.

Randy: “You scare me, dude. I mean, all that stuff you talk and your record and stuff. Dog – I don’t know.”

Simon: “Paula?”

Paula: “I don’t know. I kinda like his look. It’s hip. The glasses are cute. And you seem like a genuine well-intended individual.”

Simon: “Paula, you’re being too kind. Listen to what he’s saying. He’s an absolute disaster of a nominee. Alito – you have zero judicial talent. You’re not even qualified to decide what to eat for lunch. I’ve heard enough. Randy what do you say?”

Randy: “Sorry dog. I’m just not feeling ya.”

Simon: “Paula?”

Paula: “You know…I think you’ve got a lot of heart, but I’m just not sure if you’re right for this country right now. Keep practicing though.”

Simon: “Okay then. Thanks for coming in. Are we going to get any real nominees in here today?”

1 comment:

Greg Scheurich said...

first, and perhaps most totally irrelevant, is the fact that the Spanish word "Jamas", pronounced "Hamas", means "Never". If that ain't tellin' ya something, I don't know what is.

Second, that's basically it.