Wednesday, October 05, 2005

DIRTY PHONE CALLS

Don’t you hate it when your cell phone falls in the toilet? And then you’re stuck wondering, “Is it worth it?” Of course not, you think – that murky brown stew should NOT be breached by human flesh! But all of your numbers, messages, and contacts are in that damn phone. You panic imagining all of that water penetrating the circuitry of your favorite toy. To save or not to save – that is the question. You desperately look around the room to find something – anything – long and firm enough to fish out your social lifeline. Where’s the damn toilet brush? What happens if I flush first? It won’t go DOWN, will it? Tick tock tick tock tick tock. Finally, you get down on one knee, roll your sleeve up to your triceps and plunge your forearm into the filthy brew to extract the runaway electronic. As you free it quickly from a watery grave, your first instinct is to shake the mire from your dripping digits. But that would create even more of a mess. So you immediately hustle over to the sink and submerge your entire arm under a stream of scalding hot water. You can feel your skin burning, but you’re almost glad for it. Then you wonder how in the hell you’re going to clean your phone without getting it any wetter than it already is. There’s no WAY you’d even think about putting it to your face without decontaminating it somehow. Right? So you grab a clump of paper towels and wrap up the dirty device tightly, squeezing every drop of moisture off the metal. As you wipe it completely dry, it shines like polished steel. But you KNOW where it’s been – and that has you concerned. So you decide to give it the old “smell check,” slowly drawing it to your nose for a quick whiff. Sniff sniff. Nothing. Sniff sniff. Nothing again. Hmmmm. You look around to be sure no one is looking, then slip it back into your pants pocket and head out the door.

Twice in one week, you think. Not a good sign.


(don't worry - it happens to me, too)

4 comments:

Peter N said...

Once, twice, three times get the Lysol.

Roy said...

I will have to keep that description in mind the next time I put my mouth up to a phone I borrow. I think I'll think twice about asking to use someone else's phone in the future. gross. thanks for sharing that.

AYNtK said...

Damn. Was that post out loud? I didn't mean to share that story! Bad fingers! Very very BAD!

Sideshow said...

The same thing happened to me, except it was a Port-O-John.

and it was my toothbrush, not a cellphone.

I SEE YOU!