Friday, September 16, 2005

LANGUAGE ARTS

I’ve got two brand new terms that I’d like to introduce into folk vernacular and I thought I’d roll them out right here for you fine people. Are they juvenile and disgusting? You know it!

CRAP CIRCLES: Those mysterious, circular rings that appear on your thighs just above your knees while you’re taking a monster dump. At first you freak out and wonder if aliens are responsible for the spherical, perfectly symmetrical impressions on your skin – but ultimately you come to realize they’re just routine marks leftover from where you were resting your elbows.

"How strange! You've got two red marks in exactly the same spot on both your legs!"

"They're just crap circles - they usually fade in a few minutes."


CRAP DUSTING: The practice of flying over a lawn full of dog shit in a riding mower so you don't have to pick up all the piles piece by piece.

"Why is dad out mowing the lawn in the middle of November?"

"He's just doing a little crap dusting is all."

2 comments:

SteveA said...

I own horses; been crap dusting big time for years out in the pasture.

Connie H. said...

Amen.

I SEE YOU!