THE BIG BREEZY

I woke up this morning and found out they’re having a little rain down in N’awlins. Where have I been? Wrapped up in my own world, as usual. Too busy enjoying the beautiful weather up here in Chicago to pay attention to the horror of Hurricane Katrina. Experts are saying this storm could be a nightmare disaster of Biblical proportions, with parts of the city under 30 feet of water. Can you even imagine that? Think about how deep just 4 feet of water would be in your living room. You'd be swimming up to your armpits in filth and your furniture would be floating like ice cubes in murky brown tea. Now imagine 30 feet. Just think of the mildew afterward. Stanley Steemer better get the fleet mobilized.

What makes this storm particularly dangerous is that the city of New Orleans sits on a coastal wetland. It’s basically a city in a swamp. There’s really not a whole lot of room left for more water. So meteorologists have been warning for years that a Category 5 hurricane (the strongest) could level the Big Easy and leave a million people homeless. As of this morning, Katrina was a Category 4 packing winds of 145MPH.

New Orleans has a bunch of levees and pumps designed to keep the city dry. But these measures are futile against a raging force like this one. In fact, as the pumps fail and waters rise, there is fear of widespread contamination, including toxic chemicals, human waste, and floating coffins. It almost sounds like a horror movie – but it’s a very real possibility. Some estimates predict 60%-80% of the city’s houses could be destroyed by wind. And I can’t help but wonder…is God cleaning house? Anyone who’s experienced the madness of Mardi Gras sober (as I have) knows just how filthy it was. Urinating. Vomiting. Fighting. Sex acts. Some would say that city needed a good shower.

And now we all wait to see what will be left, if anything, of the Big Breezy and its historic Drench Quarter.

Wait until this poor bastard comes back and realizes he left his lights on.