SUPREME COURTSHIP

President Bush is expected to announce his pick for a spot on the Supreme Court tonight at 9pm EST. Insiders are saying he has settled on U.S. Circuit Judge John Roberts Jr. According to various sources close to the president, Judge Roberts was selected after it was explained to him that his first pick, Judge Reinhold, was an actor named Judge and not legally qualified. Additionally, it has been reported that the President originally planned to make his much-anticipated announcement in Spanish, until a White House speechwriter proofed a rough draft of the speech and informed G-Dub it was not called the “Taco Supreme Court.”

It is expected Bush will now deliver the announcement in his native language, Englibberish – a complex fusion of American English and Seussian gibberish. Stay tuned…details to come.