HEAVEN & SMELL

After weeks of deep consideration and intense debate, I have concluded that the single best smell in the entire world is the heavenly scent of pan-fried bacon. Do not argue with me on this – you cannot win. There is no other smell in the world that can reliably trigger an immediate sense of calm and comfort like the smell of bacon. As you are likely aware, the smell of bacon also makes the perfect alarm clock – it's an olfactory sensation that delicately welcomes us back to consciousness, inspiring us to charge full speed into life’s rich pageantry. It is a smell that relaxes us by taking us back to simpler times. Stretching out on the couch under a stack of newspapers on a lazy Sunday morning. Inhaling the breeze off a skillet as it melts meat over a cracking campfire. Gossiping with a good friend over coffee at a cozy corner diner on a stormy spring night. The smell of bacon takes you there. It’s simply the best.

Because I love the smell so much, I have been intensely lobbying for an aerosol air freshener that will emit the scent of bacon. I’ve even offered up a few names:

Mountain Hog

Slice of Dawn

Fa Sizzle Ma Skizzle

Shake ‘n’ Bacon

Rise & Swine

Misty Morning Crackle

Piggyback Fried

Greasy Spork

BLT Breeze

Crispy Pork Morning

(This is what happens when I work into the lunch hour)