Friday, June 24, 2005

BLISSFUL THINKING

Survival isn’t easy. Look all around you. People in pain, distress, and discomfort. Everyone’s got something to complain about. Financial hardship. Health concerns. Anxiety. Depression. Stress. Some people can’t find work. Others work too much and it’s killing them. How did we end up such a mess?

You don’t realize it when you’re a kid, but life is suffering. And as you get older, you start to realize how much life sucks. Look at kids – wide-eyed and optimistic. Happy. Laughing. Smiling. They’re simply content to be. Then look at old people. Their faces show a lifetime of broken dreams, failed relationships, lost loved ones, and debilitating maladies. That’s not to say they haven’t lived fulfilling lives - but they’ve definitely lived. They understand life’s limitations. They know they’ll never golf on the moon. A child doesn’t know this.

When you’re a child, anything is possible. Everything is possible. You can be anything. You can do anything. You can go anywhere. Hell, I was still holding onto these hopes as late as college. Then you start a career, put a mortgage on your back, and start losing your hair. Suddenly your life starts to take shape and all of those childhood dreams fade like chalk marks in the rain. All of those naïve beliefs about the world being your oyster sink to the bottom of the sea of reality. You're stuck here - better make the best of it.

I suppose that’s part of the beauty of having children. You get to live again through them – filling their hopeful hearts with the stuff dreams are made of. You can feel their enthusiasm for the simplest of life’s surprises, like how the buttons light up on the elevator. Or how dogs run around jamming their snouts into the rectums of other dogs. (I actually still get a kick out of that, but that says more about me I think)

I think back to when I was young. Every day had potential back then. And everything was fun – except maybe the first day of school and trips to the dentist. I didn’t know what “needs” were, or that all of mine were being met by someone who loved me more than anything. I just woke up every day and did whatever was planned for me that day. School again? Day camp? Grandma’s house? Okay!

I really didn’t have much of a choice back then, but part of being a kid is making the very best out of every situation because there’s no tomorrow. There’s only right now. We forget this as we get older. We start living more in the past and the future, at the expense of living right now. We dwell on yesterday and worry about tomorrow. Meanwhile, we forget to appreciate that there is peace and joy in every breath if we just take a second to notice. Kids notice because they’re not consumed by tomorrow and yesterday as we are. Ah yes, to be young again.

These days I have more choices than I know what to do with, but perhaps ironically feel less free. I recognize the costs associated with doing things. How long is that going to take? How much dough will that set me back? Will they be mad at me if I do this? Everything we do has a price – every action a consequence. Little kids don’t worry about time, money, or consequences. They just do what comes naturally. And they’re excused because they don’t know any better. As adults, we’re expected to know better. But knowing better sucks - Ignorance truly is bliss.

Survival isn’t easy. Everyone’s got something to complain about. Financial hardship. Health concerns. Anxiety. Depression. Stress. I say forget all that. You’re here. You made it to the big show. So just sit back and enjoy the performance of a lifetime - yours.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just a quickie to say welcome back, Terry, & thanks for the personal invite you thoughtfully posted my way inviting me to view your blog.

Some perceptive comments about the 'live for the present' attitude of kids. And the 'everything has it's price' comment about adults is so true too.

Quick question for you now. Are you hoping for lots of replies to your posts? Is that why you've changed to the blog format? If I were you I'd be miffed putting in all that work for not many replies, but some people tell me I should be just happy to post & replies shouldn't be expected. I disagree with such people because the replies make me feel I'm not alone in the world.

And do you mind me adding some of your words of wisdom to my own forums? Properly credited to you, of course.

In the meantime, welcome back. When you stopped posting an empty void opened up in my sad lonely life. Now you're back that nasty void has gone & my life is that little bit richer again & I can be happy once more.

Joe.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more, and I AM surprised at the few number of comments left so far. Comments lead to more comments, and then the fun starts as people's views differ. Also, if a reader, say me, wants to introduce a subject matter or current event, where would that fit in. Or should we use your comment email address that I have somewhere?
Happy Monday-PeterN, a non-anonymous type of guy living in Red Sox Nation. P.S. Joe, where are your forums. I'd like to check it/them out..PN

Contact me! said...

Thanks for welcoming me back - it's good to BE back.

As for the comment functionality of the blog format, I hadn't really thought about it when switching from Topica to Blogger. I liked that Topica was easy - and that people could subscribe and unsubscribe without my having to maintain a long list of e-mail addresses. I also liked that it was free. Of course, as is so often the case, you get what you pay for. Topica was far from perfect and I had countless problems with them over the course of several years.

When I decided to breathe new life into AYNtK, I figured it deserved a fresh new look. That's what initally led me here. I also like that I can update AYNtK daily instead of withholding thoughts for an entire week and sending them all out at once. I've retained my Topica account because that's how I'll be able to alert past, current, and future readers to new posts. And if people want to get on the reminder e-mail list, that would be the place to do it.

As for the trickle of replies, I can't say I'm surprised. I didn't receive an overwhelming number of e-mail responses before - in fact, I didn't really think anyone was reading anymore until I decided to quit. THAT'S when the e-mails started coming in.

Perhaps, in time, people will feel more comfortable sharing thoughts of their own when moved to do so. I'm not going to encourage or discourage it, though. Just going to continue posting what I believe to be all you need to know.

Anonymous said...

Terry, I think one reason why not many people write to you is because you write so well & so perceptively that you intimidate them.

I don't mean that you do so with any thoughts of malice, it's just that compared to how you write they may feel there's no way they'll measure up, so they don't bother.

You have the knack of writing in such a way that I feel you're talking to me personally, & that is a great talent for any writer to have. I'm surprised you haven't chosen a career as a journalist or an editorial writer for a newspaper, but in a way I'm glad you haven't if it means I can read what you have to say in humble Lowestoft, England (yes, the bum hole on the bum of England, as some disilusioned locals have described my home town, & with whom, yes, I can often be persuaded to agree), because the internet has to be the best & most accessible way for you to get your message across, & it's so much less hassle for me than subscribing to an American newspaper, & it's free too!

Another thing great about your posts is the impressive diversity of your subject matter. And your command of the English language is pretty hot too. Did you ever publish any of your AYNTK posts in book form? When you do I'll be waiting with my money to buy it.

Now I think I've probably flattered you enough so if you want more you'll just have to post some more & impress me again!

Joe

Anonymous said...

To Peter N (& anyone else I can tempt my way), my forums are at

www.seelowestoft.com

That's the home page of the static part of the site, the forum link is at the top of the home page on the right hand side. All new material goes in the forums now, & new stuff is added pretty much on a daily basis (so long as I have pictures to post or stuff to say).

Terry, I hope you don't mind me riding in your slipstream here & advertising my forums on your blog, but Peter did ask me & I was flattered.

I'd be even more flattered if he & you came my way so I hope you'll pay me a visit?

Cheers,

Joe

Contact me! said...

Feel free to advertise all you want - no one reads this crap. I did check out your site, incidentally - thanks for recommending my humble corner of cyberspace to your visitors...

Anonymous said...

Terry. Oh YES. We do read your stuff. I almost agree with what was said about not knowing how to respond. We're left speechless sometimes. And figured we'd fill up your junk bin. I've emailed you a few times in past years, telling you to write a book. you're amazing to read. Or gave you shit. And I'm even older now. 52. When you have that varied a reader base, you've got it.
I missed you, too. Felt a void.
Welcome back.
Connie H.

Anonymous said...

We're reading.

I SEE YOU!