TALK ABOUT THE PASSION

So I watched the Passion of the Christ this morning. Yes, this morning.

I get those Blockbuster.com DVD movies in the mail and it was kicking around, so I threw it in and gave it a go.

I have to say - good movie, but probably not the best way to get started in the morning. Wow. And definitely not with a glass of tomato juice. The savage brutality was hard to stomach. It was almost as bad as that cheerleader ambush video they've been glorifying on the nightly news.

Actually, toward the end of the gruesome flick I started recognizing a lot of parallels between the Passion of the Christ and the Crashing of the Spears. Britney, that is. Here we have this pop princess, widely revered as a cultural demi-god, held under a microscope, taunted and provoked by a bloodthirsty mob of paparazzi, collapsing under the pressure repeatedly and to the great satisfaction of the ignorant, unforgiving masses. And the relentless, bloodthirsty mob isn't content to see her suffer. No - they won't be content until the icon has been sacrificed to the great kingdom of Hollywood. And that day is coming.

But I digress. What I really wanted to say was, I recommend the film, but not at 8am. And not while you're eating.

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE

IN A WORD...

Here's another one of those silly pass-around e-mails where you get to know your friends. The catch to this one? You can only respond with one word. Since I don't have any friends (no offense, friends), I am posting my one word answers here. It's just more efficient.

1. Where is your cell phone? here
2. Your significant other? there
3. Your hair? everywhere
4. Your mother? baking
5. Your father? working
6. Your favorite thing? pooping
7. Your dream last night? forgettable
8. Your favorite drink? caffeinated
9. Your dream/goal? comfort
10. The room you're in? office
11. Your ex? who?
12. Your fear? Neoconservatism
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? comfortable
14. Where were you last night? couch
15. What you're not? spontaneous
16. Muffins? mom's
17. One of your wish list items? time
18. Where you grew up? Chicago
19. The last thing you did? reeks
20. What are you wearing? grin
21. Your TV? busy
22. Your pets? shedding
23. Your computer? On
24. Your life? fun
25. Your mood? good
26. Missing someone? nope
27. Your car? empty
28. Something you're not wearing? bra
29. Favorite Store? Borders
30. Your summer? busy
31. Like someone? pie
32. Your favorite color? changes
33. When is the last time you laughed? mirror
34. Last time you cried? same
35. Who will/would re-post this? whoever

OH YEAH!

Some shit is too funny for words.

OLYMPIC DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES

GET TESTED

I passed the test...but at what cost? Click to play and see how well you do.

FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS

The ultimate peep show.

Now that's a hot, sticky mess just waiting to happen.

Happy Easter, my peeps.

WHEN WILL COMMON SENSE PREVAIL?

I mean COME ON, people. This guy oozes leadership. He's rational. He's practical. He's optimistic. He's a thinker. He's a doer. Let's not fuck this up.

I personally can't imagine a better face for the country right now. Can you? Besides Tom Brokaw, of course. Honestly. Who's going to better lead us out of the fucking mess we're in? Collapsing economy. Racial and socioeconomic division. Crumbling infrastructure. Falling dollar. Overextended military. Growing trade deficit. Growing national debt. Wage stagnation. Gasoline nearing $4/gallon. See what one little war will do for a thriving democracy?

Make no mistake about it - America is on the decline.

More frightening than all of this are recent polls showing Obama behind McCain in a potential head-to-head. How is that even possible? Haven't we had enough of the old, institutional white guys protecting old, institutional white guys?

Can we get a little new blood in charge instead of John McSame?

This guy's campaign was on life support 6 months ago. Republicans don't even like him...and he's polling ahead of one of the most exciting Presidential candidates this country has ever seen. I just don't understand America sometimes. Who are we, and what are we so afraid of? It's no wonder Canada reported its highest immigration figures ever this year. A lot of people joke about moving, but I'm starting to seriously consider it. Although, I'm thinking Norway. Happiest folks on the planet, reportedly.

Anyhow, this country is seriously fucked up beyond repair if we don't seize this opportunity and wrest control of the wheel from the fear-mongering warlords and petroleum whores. This shouldn't even be close, and the fact that it is forces me to question what is REALLY going on here.

Just think about it.

PERFUMIGATION

Some people just don't know what to do with all that money, power, influence, and prestige. So they gamble with it. On 22-year-old prostitutes. Isn't it sad that this is the kind of judgment and character we're coming to expect out of our leaders these days? And the media absolutely loves it. CNN, believe it or not, dropped its unremitting campaign coverage almost entirely to cover the scandal. What's the fascination here? Why do we love watching the privileged and powerful fall from grace? Why does the media spend so much time covering crap like this? Isn't there anything more important going on in the entire world than one man's struggle with fidelity in the face of great success?

[CLICK]

BANK(RUPT) OF AMERICA

Banks are hurting these days. People are walking away from homes they can't afford and banks are stuck holding the keys to houses no one will buy. 6 out of the 10 buildings on my block have For Sale signs out front. Won't be long before the bank forecloses on those. One thing is certain in this mess - the banks are going to get their money back somehow. First they lent obscene amounts of money to people who weren't qualified to pay it back, then they jammed up the rates and demanded the money back, and now that they're stuck with a bunch of overvalued real estate, they're heaping the burden back on consumers.

Below is the latest word from the Consumers Union. It's a good idea to check your credit card rates on your statements, as they do change. Issuing banks have been hiking them up quietly in an effort to stop the bleeding. If you don't like what you read, I encourage you to do something about it!

**********

Bank of America recently announced interest rate increases, even for responsible card customers—some people reported new rates as high as 28%! And the bank didn't make it easy to object.

To decline the rate hike, the bank required card holders to write a letter agreeing to stop using the card and pay off the existing balance at the old rate, according to news reports. They couldn't telephone, nor did Bank of America provide a form or a return envelope to help meet the short deadline. If the company didn't get a quick response, rates would automatically rise.

Bank of America is not the only bank to hit card holders with high rates and fees. Banks get to raise your interest rates, as well as the fees they charge for most services, because fine print clauses in your credit card contracts allow it. They don't even have to tell you why they did it.

Tell Congress to protect card holders from unfair rate hikes, exorbitant penalty fees and other fine print "gotchas."

As the economy softens, some Wall Street analysts believe that big banks want to make up their investment losses by raising rates to good credit card customers.

A bill proposed in Congress would help rein in that practice and limit other "gotchas." The bill would protect cardholders against arbitrary interest rate increases; hidden interest charges, due date traps and more.

This bill is long past due! Tell your lawmakers that you support the Cardholders' Bill of Rights. Do something about it!

GOD SAYS THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

Check this out. I just can't believe it. A woman in Dallas just threw her two kids off an Interstate overpass, and then threw herself off, into busy rush-hour traffic, and they all LIVED.

Here's how it went down, according to police. The mother and her two children, ages 6 and 8, were in a car with her father. When her father stopped for gas, she grabbed her two kids and ran to an overpass. Police say she was not fleeing from danger...rather that she was inexplicably on some kind of homicidal, suicidal mission.

All three fell over 22 feet onto the interstate. Two of them were hit by cars. There were no accidents, and no fatalities. All three are recovering in the hospital. I don't know about you, but that right there is a miracle.

SLEEPY, SNEEZY, OR GRUMPY?

Americans are dopey - and most of us don't even realize it!

Yes, you. And you. And you, too. I see you trying to hide back there. You can't hide, though. It's in your water, kids. You've been drugged.

Turns out buying bottled drinking water from a natural spring may be a good purchase after all. According to a report from the Associated Press, pieced together following an exhaustive 5 month investigation, traces of pharmaceutical drugs are widespread in water supplies across the country. Somewhere, Tom Cruise just spit water out all over his keyboard and compiter monitor. Sorry, Tom. This is 21st century America's designer drug culture. We like our pills.

Antibiotics. Mood stabilizers. Pain killers. Sex hormones. You name it. How did they all end up in our water? Think about where that water comes from.

Most Americans are taking some kind of medication. There's a pill for practically everything these days and doctors don't hesitate to write scripts. They're getting perks, kick-backs, freebies, and all kinds of goodies from the drug manufacturers to keep our medicine cabinets stocked with name-brand brain candy. And we're willing partners in the drug dance. We see happy people swinging barefoot from a tire swing in the backyard on a sunny, summer day and think: "I want that feeling right there. Doc, why don't I feel like that? I think I need something to take the edge off."

We're all on something. Birth control. Asthma control. Arthritis relief. Allergy medication. Pain management. Cholesterol control. Boner pops. Sleep aids. Happy happy joy joys. We ingest the drugs, our poor bodies process what they can, and the rest is flushed down the toilet in our urine. That's a lot of people downing a lot of drugs and pissing a lot of excess down the drain day after day after day. It all adds up.

Our waste water is treated before it returns to nature, where it is later collected and repurposed so it can be "safely" consumed as drinking water. The drug residue present in our waste water is often too small to filter out. So it ends up right back in the water supply. According to the report, at least 41 MILLION Americans are habitually sipping pharmacy cocktails every time they raise glass of tap to their lips. This is to say nothing of over-the-counter medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen, traces of which are also prevalent in the water supply. If I am scaring you, maybe I could get a job at FOX.

All in all, the AP reported traces of drugs in the drinking water supplies of 24 major metropolitan areas in all areas of the country. Who knew?

Well, as it happens, water providers have been WELL aware of the impurities in our water supply, but have been reluctant to talk about them because it would be a PR nightmare. In a litigious society like ours, can you imagine the class action lawsuit potential here? They say they've been quiet because the public wouldn't know how to interpret the information. They don't want us to start freaking out. But we probably OUGHT to be at least a little concerned - shouldn't we? Researchers don't yet understand the risks of prolonged, persistent exposure to random, changing combinations of manufactured chemicals. But they will. It's literally a matter of time. Already, some studies have shown trace amounts over extended periods of time are significant effects on human cells and wildlife.

So who is looking out for us? The feds are in bed with the pharma corps. They're in no hurry to conduct testing and set safety limits. That would mean regulation and enforcement - and lawsuits against some of their biggest campaign contributors. It would also mean finding money to pay for it all, which is not government's strong suit. Today's politicians are much better at losing money than finding it.

Since we can't very well stop drinking water, our first order of business should be determining just how safe it is to be drinking water contaminated by pharmaceuticals. If we learn there are long-term health risks involved, then things are going to get messy. Then it becomes a matter of finding a more effective way to treat waste water, and/or a more effective way to purify tap water.

Or an alternative way to treat the many ills ceaselessly afflicting the human condition.

POLIMON!

Refresh your browser to see the battle cycle from the start. It's a real nail-biter!

LONG DONG QUIXOTE

This news clip is priceless. Apparently, a man was watching some porn with the volume up at an inadvisable level. His downstairs neighbor heard screaming and thought a woman was being raped. So he grabbed his sword (yes, this man had a sword at the ready), ran up the stairs, and kicked in his neighbor's door.

The stunned afficiopornado was speechless. The knight in shining blue jeans barked loudly, "Where is she?!? Where is she?!?" At sword-point, he forced his neighbor to open every closet and cabinet in the apartment to prove he was alone.

The hero of the story was later arrested for misconduct and could spend a little time behind bars for his noble reflex. Let's keep the porn volume down, people, lest our neighbors get the wrong idea.

What kind of porn was this guy watching that his neighbor mistook it for a crime? We may never know. The reporter who interviewed him didn't think to ask. I can't believe the guy submitted to an interview at all. Can you imagine the caption under his name on the nightly news? JOHN SMITH, interrupted while enjoying porn.

SO SORRY

Just felt I needed to apologize to someone for what I just did on the elevator.

Damn.

ALWAYS BET ON BARACK

If Clinton somehow defies the laws of mathematics and manages an unlikely come-from-behind upset, Obama may have a future as an action hero. Check out that million dollar grin. I see a line of smash hits now featuring Barack Obama as the lovable, reliable action-star:





The Obamanator

The Obamanable Snowman

The Six Million Dollar Obaman

Obama Juan Kenobi

Passenger 58 (Always bet on Barack!)

G.I. O

Baracky Balboa

The O-Bomb

Agent Double O-Bama

The Obamatrix

Barack Lee

Rackbo

MSM S&M

This documentary should be required viewing for all Americans.

If that sounds a little over the top to you, just call me a pole vaulter. Seriously, think about the MSM (mainstream media) for a second - how they are accountable to no one, and regulated only by politicians who routinely accept large amounts of money from them.

Who is left to check if the things we read every day, online and in the paper, or if the things we see and hear on the television and radio, are actually TRUE...or if they are only reported as such by a source no one is capable of questioning? Do you realize most of the news stories we read and presume are true come from just a handful of sources? Sure, you'll find the same story on CNN.com, and in the Tribune, and see it on the news that night - but the source was the same. Who sets the agenda, deciding what and who we get to see on the news every night? These are some powerful folks, wouldn't you say? They're the ones who shape our thoughts, raise and dash our hopes, stoke our fears, and stir our conscience into action.

Check out that vid, kids. Then go watch the news. The rest of the documentary is available on You Tube or Google Video. Search for Orwell Rolls In His Grave.

ARE YOU EXPERIENCED?

Have you been paying much attention to the big race? Seems to me the word "change" has been replaced by "experience." Instead of the candidates harping on a need for "change" in Washington, they're all comparing levels of "experience." Silly, I say. But these constant calls to consider "experience" stick in our gourds and make us wonder sometimes - would we be better off with someone who's been there before?

Been where? Done what? What exactly do these candidates mean when they offer their experience?

Experience counts. There's no question about it. But everyone has "experience" of some kind. You and I have "experience." Experience is a byproduct of living. We are all products of our experiences here. Turns out the three major candidates (those with a statistical possibility of actually becoming President) are talking about three different kinds of experience when they're out stumping on the trail.

When Clinton talks about experience, she's not talking about years in office. She'd lose that battle to McCain faster than Bill can get his wang back in his shorts and his pants buckled back up. She'd also lose that battle to Obama, who will have held elected office for 12 years before coming President, to Hillary's 8.

So she must be talking about her Senate experience then, right? Not really. Again, her years of experience there pale compared to McCain's lengthy term of legislative service. And while she's been in the Senate longer than Obama has, Obama has passed far more progressive and substantive legislation than she has. Compare their records introducing and co-authoring meaningful legislation and you would think Obama has been there longer. It's not how long you've been in office, it's what you did while you were there that matters. On their records, again, Obama would appear to be the better choice.

So what kind of "experience" is she referring to when she pleads with the American public to choose her experience over Obama's? She can only be talking about her Oval Office experience. White House experience. Presidential experience. It reminds me of a joke comedian Chris Rock has been telling on his No Apologies tour, which I was fortunate enough to get tickets to last month.

Rock reminded us that just because our spouse is good at something, it doesn't mean we're good at it too, at least not on the merit of being married to them. "I love my wife to death," he said, "But if she got up here in front of all you people, you would not laugh. I guarantee it. Just because I can tell a joke doesn't mean she can." So when Hillary pitches her "experience" as the reason she is the better-qualified candidate, it's important to take that experience with a grain of salt. While her time as First Lady certainly qualifies as life "experience," there's a big difference between being the President and being married to one.

Meanwhile, McCain has been hammering on Obama for his inexperience, and he IS talking about YEARS. Chances are good we'll be hearing a lot more of that argument, too, because it's the only one McCain really scores on. When you're as old as he is, experience is your trump suit. It comes with the gray hair and age spots. People start to assume you know better because you've been around longer. That is, until you start spouting off rubbish and nonsense, like spending the next 100 years in Iraq, exhibiting clear dementia and reminding people that there's a fine line between experienced and senile. Does our next President need to be skirting that line?

So...how much experience in office is the right amount? Is it even necessary at all? Guess how many of our nation's 43 Presidents had more experience in office when they were elected than Barack Obama would have if he were elected in 2008. Well, we know Washington didn't have any experience in office - he was el presidente numero uno. But how many others had less experience than Obama when they took the oath to become our Commander in Chief? Do you want to guess or should I just tell you? Fine, I'll tell you. You're no fun. The answer is 24. More than HALF of our country's Presidents had less "experience" in office when they were elected than Obama would have when moving into La Casa Blanca. Turns out years of elected office "experience" isn't such a good measure of leadership capability after all. Perhaps, as Obama likes to put it, judgment matters more.

Just don't be hoodwinked by the political marketing machine. You don't need a lifetime of service in elected office to be a great leader. Abraham Lincoln, regarded by many as our greatest President, started out a simple lawyer from Illinois. Sound familiar? It's not your total YEARS of experience, or total years IN OFFICE, that qualify you to lead. It's how you've lived your life...and the experiences that made you who you are. It's the decisions you've made. Your character. Your actions, as they say - not your words.

By these measures, all three remaining candidates have a lifetime of experiences for us to compare, and differences in character to consider.

RECESSIONARY TRAITS

Well, that pretty much settles it. Bush announced today that the U.S. is NOT headed for a recession. Whew! I was getting a little nervous there for a second. I'm getting that proud, confident feeling again...like when Bush announced "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq a few years ago.

Sigh.

Just another chapter in our nation's autobiography, "Freedumb."

From the folks who brought you Mission Accomplished and The Patriot Act, it's Economic Boomtown! If you have anything left after that mortgage payment, go ahead and get yourself something nice. Everything's going to be just fine.

CABLE TALK

Aloha! I am back from the beach in sunny Maui, sunburned and married. And I just found some good news in my Inbox. You may recall the complaint I filed with the Better Business Bureau about RCN cable - read the communications exchange below for more on that. Anyhow - here's the official response from RCN according to the BBB:

"On February 22, 2008, the business provided the following information:
RCN apologizes for any inconvenience we may have caused. An adjustment has been applied to the account in the amount of $25.00. You will see the credit reflect your next bill."

Sometimes it pays to bitch.

More on the fabulous Hawaiian adventure to come...

CAN WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS PLEASE?

What country is this anyway?

President Bush said today that he plans to veto legislation passed by the Senate that would bar the CIA from waterboarding.

Think about this. Our President is going to use his VETO to overturn legislation PASSED by the Senate that would ban TORTURE? He's going to veto in SUPPORT of torture. Am I the only one who finds this fucking insane beyond all comprehension? What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?

And why is Congress grilling baseball players while the Executive Branch is giving our country an Extreme Fascist Makeover? Could it be because the Legislative Branch is complicit in freedom's undoing? Did you see how many Senators voted to grant retroactive immunity to Telecommunications companies? That was the big news earlier this week. The bill absolving these guilty fuckers actually PASSED by a large margin. Not surprising, I suppose, when you consider the industry is a top 5 lobby in Washington. And our Senators voted with THEM, at the expense of US. All while we sit glued to American Idol.

Not all Senators, I should note. A good number of Senators chose to stand by the American people, do the right thing, and vote against it so we could hold these powerful corporations accountable for the lawless invasions of privacy they enabled. Kudos to them. Here's an article for more on the Spy Bill.

Here's the Cliff's Notes version. Your Republican nominee McCain voted to grant the Telcomms immunity. And to think that guy used to stand for something. Obama, not surprisingly, did the right thing and voted against it. Hillary did the Clinton thing and didn't show up for the controversial vote so there wouldn't be a record of her taking a stand one way or the other. It's easier to tell people what they want to hear when you have no record on the subject. That's institutional politics 101.

I hope the people in Pennsylvania and Ohio reward her courage with a vote for the O Bomb. We could use a little integrity up in here.

SIPS FROM THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH

So I got my back waxed yesterday for the first time. How's that for an icebreaker?

As you may be aware, I am off to Maui to be married next week. Thank you. Yes, we are very excited - especially in the middle of this brutal global cooling spell.

In preparing for our Hawaiian adventure, it was suggested I consider a simple spa treatment that would give my back a more "youthful" look. I have discovered that, as the hair mob gets older, its dying members join the follicle relocation program. Hair that had once thrived on the top of my head get old and head south, putting down new roots in warmer climes. The result is a receding hairline and awkward patches of fur and stray hair sprouts all over my back, neck, and arms. Just when I got comfortable with the idea of never taking my shirt off at another baseball game, I book a Destination Wedding to the Hawaiian Isles. So off to spa I went last night to try something new.

Let me begin by saying that it did not hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would. We've all seen that scene in "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" where Steve Carrell has his chest hair waxed off. A back wax is nothing like that. Don't get me wrong - it was not what I would consider a pleasant experience. But it wasn't quite waterboarding with the Cheneys, either.

If you've ever thought about getting a back wax, here's what you can expect. I showed up for my appointment and checked in at the reception counter. The hair removal specialist walked me back to a private room where I was politely instructed to remove my shirt and lie face down on a massage table. She left the room for a couple minutes so I could watch myself undress slowly in a very large mirror while calming nature sounds piped into the room. After getting a good look at myself in the mirror, I put my pants back on and spread out on the table - face down. My waxpert returned, made some idle chit chat to put me at ease, then began smearing a hot sticky liquid on my back with a paint brush. This was not unpleasant.

Then she put the brush down, pressed a cloth of some kind hard into the warm, wet wax and gave a rip like she was starting a lawnmower. This didn't really hurt all that much, either. She pushed another cloth into my back and tore it off again. That one hurt a little more. The third time I started to figure it out. It only hurt when she pulled out hair. That third one had some hair. My eyes watered suddenly. My voice broke as I spoke. She kept pressing and ripping. And then suddenly it ended. Round one, that is. She dipped the brush back into the wax and started applying it again. I gripped the table and waited.

RIP!

RIP!

RIP!

When she was done, she treated my back with some oil and said I was free to towel off and get dressed again. The whole thing lasted about 12 minutes and cost $45 (not including tip). I got home and showed the 7-year-old H Man my back.

"Check it out, my man. My back is smoother than yours!"

He was totally jealous. And then he pointed at my chest and told me they had forgotten about the front.

"No way, dude. This here is the difference between a boy like you and a man like me."

He thought about that for a second, stuck out his tongue at me and said. "You're kooks. And I'm almost taller than you anyway." Sassy kid, the H Man.

Anyhow - there it is. The back wax. Not as bad as I thought it would be...and the waxpert tells me it gets easier the second time because the hair grows back in much finer. I can hardly wait.

NO ADULT LEFT BEHIND

Did you hear about this one? A teacher in California named John Corcoran revealed that he graduated from college and taught high school for 17 YEARS without being able to read, write, or spell! Imagine that. Couldn't read, write, or spell...and actually managed to get a degree in Education...then went on to TEACH high school for 17 years. What does that say about our education system? Might explain a few things.

This glorious American success story probably would have been more shocking to us 7 years ago, before we all learned that you could actually go onto become President of the country without those very same skills. And all this guy did was teach high school for 17 years?

Bah. That's nothing!

RUNAROUND...SUE

Year of the rat? I'd certainly say so...

---------------------------------------------------------
This form was submitted by AYNtK <@yahoo.com> on Friday, January 18, 2008 at 21:26:59
---------------------------------------------------------

Referring URL: http://www.rcn.com/contact/index.php

city: Chicago
state: IL
zip: 60618
account: 1001-079XXX1-02
comment_related_to: hdtv

comment: I recently switched to RCN from Comcast and have had a few problems already. First, the installation person did not show up on the designated day/time after we took off of work to be home. He ended up coming the following day. Now we are having problems getting the DVR to work properly - it keeps giving us an error message and will not allow us to record programs as intended. And then we just received our first bill and it has a $25 installation fee on it! This was never detailed for us in any discussions we had with sales staff. We were not notified of this charge and were unpleasantly surprised to find it tacked on after the fact. No one explained that we would be responsible for this, and we do not feel we should be required to pay it. Especially in light of the problems we have had to start.

I hope someone will be able to remedy this situation to our satisfaction as we had hoped for a different experience with RCN than we had with our previous cable services provider.

Sincerely,
AYNtK

----- Original Message ----
From: Lanae
To: AYNtK
Sent: Sunday, January 20, 2008 9:54:14 AM
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission <<#28223-151855#>>

Dear Customer

My name is Lanae. Thank you for contacting the Email Support Staff. We are happy to provide you with the exceptional customer service you deserve.

In response to your recent email, I would like to apologize for the inconvenience caused. At this time the account is noted that the $25 install fee was to be charged onto the account. Thus, at this time I can not remove the charge, due to the fact that it shows to be a valid charge. Also, if the DVR is still giving you an error message, please contact RCN Technical Department at 1-866-832-4726, 24 hours a day seven days a week.

Thank you for your patience in this matter. If you should have any further questions or concerns please feel free to contact the Email Support Staff. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you.

Lanae

--- Original Message ---
From: AYNtK
Received: 1/20/08 10:36:31 AM EST
To: Lanae
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission

Lanae,

Thank you for responding. I did call RCN technical support and they were able to resolve the issue with my DVR. Hopefully it will work now!

As for the installation fee, I still do not understand why I am being assessed this additional charge when it was never made known to me that I would be responsible for such a charge. Neither the phone representative or the serviceman notified me that there would be a charge for installation. I feel like I am being penalized for switching from Comcast and should not have to pay this. Had I been aware of the fee up front, it may have influenced my decision to switch. It is unethical to withhold the actual cost of anything. Why wouldn't RCN disclose its installation fees at the time service is requested? Doesn't that seem a bit dishonest to you? This is the kind of corporate harassment I expected out of Comcast - which is why I switched to RCN. I had hoped for a different experience with RCN, but right off the bat I'm being hit with hidden fees and charges.

Please remove the $25 install fee as I DID NOT AGREE to pay for an installation charge, and it was at no time disclosed to me that any additional installation costs would be incurred.

Thank you for your understanding,

AYNtK

----- Original Message ----
From: Tarneisha
To: AYNtK
Sent: Monday, January 21, 2008 7:11:13 AM
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission <<#28223-151855#>>

Dear Customer,

My name is Tarneisha. Thank you for contacting the Email Support Staff. We are happy to provide you with the exceptional customer service you deserve.

In response to your recent email, you can remove the installation fee from your account, by signing up for automatic payments, or having your credit run.

Thank you for your patience in this matter. If you should have any further questions or concerns please feel free to contact the Email Support Staff. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you.

Tarneisha

--- Original Message ---
From: AYNtK
Received: 1/24/08 10:23:23 AM EST
To: Tarneisha
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission

Tarneisha,

Thanks for your response. I do not believe I should be required to sign up for automatic payments in order for RCN to waive an installment fee I never agreed to pay in the first place. This is a suspect business practice I will be reporting to the Better Business Bureau. A company cannot assess fees that were not disclosed up front and then agree to waive them in exchange for a separate and unrelated consumer behavior. This is an egregious violation of business ethics and tantamount to holding my money for ransom.

If this is RCN's best and only compromise to the situation, then I will agree to sign up for automatic payments to have the fee removed. But when I do I want to be absolutely sure the $25.00 charge is credited to my account, as it was never disclosed to me and should never have been assessed in the first place. Please advise me as to the best way to sign up for automatic payment so that I can be sure the charge is removed.

Thank you for your help.

AYNtK

----- Original Message ----
From: Tarneisha
To: AYNtK
Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2008 2:31:49 PM
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission <<#28223-151855#>>

Dear Customer,

This is Tarneisha and thank you again for contacting the Email Support Staff. We are happy to provide you with the exceptional customer service you deserve.

In response to your recent email, I could imagine how disappointing this is for you, and I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you. You can signed up for automatic payments by contacting our Customer Service department. Once you are signed up, the representative will reverse the $25.00 installation fee. Our Customer Service department can be reach by calling 1-877-RCN-BILL (1-877-726-2455) between the hours of 8AM and 5PM, Monday - Friday.

Thank you for your patience in this matter. If you should have any further questions or concerns please feel free to contact the Email Support Staff. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you.

Tarneisha

--- Original Message ---
From: AYNtK
Received: 2/11/08 3:51:27 PM EST
To: Tarneisha
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission

Tarneisha,

Thank you for getting back to me with this information regarding the installation fee that was tacked onto my account without warning. Unfortunately, the solution you provided was deemed "incorrect" by the customer service representative I just spoke with on the telephone. In the e-mail attached below, you instructed me to call the RCN Customer Service department and sign up for automatic payment to have the $25.00 fee waived, but when I called the number to have this done, I was told that this is not RCN's policy and you should not have told me this was the case.

I don't know who I need to talk to about this, but I am growing very frustrated with the situation. I have contacted RCN 5 times now to have this fee removed and I keep getting excuses and the run-around. I was told that there was NO WAY to have this fee removed, which I know for a fact is not true. This installation charge was not disclosed prior to installation and I did not agree to it. I will be reporting this matter to the Better Business Bureau unless the matter is promptly resolved and the fee removed. RCN is one of the shadiest companies I have had the displeasure to do business with and I will be sure to let everyone know what they can expect from you.

Thanks for nothing.

AYNtK


----- Original Message ----
From: Landry
To: AYNtK
Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2008 9:03:17 AM
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission <<#28223-151855#>>

Dear Customer,

My name is Landry. Thank you for contacting the Email Support Staff. We are happy to provide you with the exceptional customer service you deserve.

In response to your recent email, I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you. I can understand how this could seem very confusing to you but our installation fee is something that is paid by all of our customers and the fee can not be waived due to the fact that you were made aware of the fee at the time of the install and you agreed to have the install done.

Thank you for your patience in this matter. If you should have any further questions or concerns please feel free to contact the Email Support Staff. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you.

Landry

--- Original Message ---
From: AYNtK
Received: 2/12/08 10:00:45 AM EST
To: Landry
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission

Landry,

With all due respect, I am not entirely convinced you know what you are talking about.

If you had taken the time to read through the threads below you will notice that I was NOT - at NO TIME - EVER made aware of this fee. The fact that you would ignore this important fact is somewhat insulting at this stage in the dialogue. Had I been aware of this charge and agreed to it, as you stated in your e-mail, then I would have no reason to be upset right now. The fact that I was not made aware of this fee is central to my complaint. It is, in fact, the basis of my argument. I do not believe I should be made responsible for a charge that was not disclosed in advance.

This complaint has all the makings of a good class action lawsuit. I imagine there are a LOT of customers like me who were not told about this fee in advance - but were later assessed it as a matter of "policy." Since most consumers won't spend the time to fight a $25 installation fee, and those who do are told there's nothing RCN will do about it, RCN gets away with it. Shameful.

The fact is, consumers are protected against this kind of business activity. We have a right to know UP FRONT what the total cost of something will be before we agree to pay for it. I assure you, I was not made aware of this up front. If you can access the sales call during which I agreed to service, you will note that I asked TWICE what my total would be. I also asked if there were any other charges or fees I should worry about. I was assured that my bill would be in the $90 range after taxes. There was no mention of an installation fee. None. When my bill arrived it was for $126 and included a $25 installation charge. Surely, as a person, you can identify with my frustration here. Imagine you order a meal at a restaurant and your waiter assures you the final bill will be no more than $50 - but when it arrives the bill is $75 because of some automatic restaurant policy that tacks on $25 for the heck of it. You would not be pleased, and you would likely refuse to pay - as I am doing now.

One final note. It is becoming clear to me that your "customer service" is little more than "lip service," as this is now the 5th e-mail I have received regarding my complaint and I remain wholly unsatisfied with the service I am receiving. How many times are we going to go back and forth like this before someone over there gets the attention of someone who has the authority to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS? Or is it your recommendation that I would have better luck getting my $25 back through litigious means? Either way is fine - I just need to know my next course of action.

I'm starting to understand why so many people think it's okay to "steal" cable. It's because the cable company thinks it's okay to steal from people.

AYNtK


----- Original Message ----
From: Landry
To: AYNtK
Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2008 12:10:19 PM
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission <<#28223-151855#>>

Dear Customer,

My name is Landry. Thank you for contacting the Email Support Staff. We are happy to provide you with the exceptional customer service you deserve.

In response to your recent email, I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you. I know that is is hard to understand that we can not and will not be able to issues you the $25.00 install fee. As you were informed in the earlier email the only possible way that you may be able to receive a credit back for the $25.00 install fee would be for you to call in and request to speak to a supervisor and they may be able to work something out with you but I can not make an guarantees. Once again we are sorry and we hope that we may be able to assist you with this issues.

Thank you for your patience in this matter. If you should have any further questions or concerns please feel free to contact the Email Support Staff. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you.

Landry

--- Original Message ---
From: AYNtK
Received: 2/12/08 1:26:48 PM EST
To: Landry
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission

Landry,

I appreciate your prompt response regarding this matter.

I have already been on the telephone with customer service and was not permitted access to a supervisor, if such a person truly exists. I was given, instead, the address of RCN corporate headquarters so that they might be copied on any formal complaints I might decide to file. Speaking of which, this morning I filed a formal complaint against RCN Cable with my local Better Business Bureau chapter and have requested arbitration to help settle the matter.

I have also launched a word-of-mouth campaign I am absolutely certain will cost RCN far more in lost business in the years ahead than the relatively insignificant $25 your greedy company would not budge on. I am also now in the market for a DISH satellite system, which will likely result in thousands of dollars of lost business from me alone over the next several years.

Have a very nice day.

AYNtK

----- Original Message ----
From: Landry
To: AYNtK
Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2008 2:15:08 PM
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission <<#28223-151855#>>

Dear Customer,

My name is Landry. Thank you for contacting the Email Support Staff. We are happy to provide you with the exceptional customer service you deserve.

In response to your recent email, I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you and I could see how this could seem confusing to you. If you requested to speak to a supervisor then you should have been permitted access to one unless they all were busy at the time on other supervisor call and could not get to you in time. That is why you may have been given the corporate information so that you may have been able to file your complaint to get your issues resolved as soon as possible. If you still would like to speak to someone about this issues you may contact us at,

1-877-RCN-BILL (1-877-726-2455) between the hours of 8AM and 5PM, Monday - Friday or Technical Support at 1-866-TECH-RCN (1-866-832-4726), 24 hours a day seven days a week.

Thank you for your patience in this matter. If you should have any further questions or concerns please feel free to contact the Email Support Staff. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you.

Landry

--- Original Message ---
From: AYNtK
Received: 2/12/08 2:44:55 PM EST
To: Landry
Subject: Re: RCN - Customer Feedback Form Submission

Landry,

Thanks again for the prompt response. I am going to let Better Business Bureau case # 94165905 do the speaking from this point on.

Best,

AYNtK

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

This morning I discovered a powerful consumer tool - the Better Business Bureau's online complaint system. I immediately took advantage, and now post for you the unedited sum of my complaint that the company charged in the complaint, RCN cable, get the widespread attention it deserves. At least when Comcast was buttraping my bank account they were up front about it.

*********

Thank you for using the Better Business Bureau's Online Complaint System.
Your complaint has been assigned case # 94165905.
Correspondence regarding this complaint will be emailed to : address@yahoo.com
Please print a copy of this for your records.

Filed on : February 12 2008

Filed by :
AYNtK


Filed against :
RCN Chicago



Complaint Description:
Account: 1001-0793XXX-02 for service to Street Address in Chicago beginning in January of 2008.

This dissatisfied Comcast customer decided to call RCN cable for a quote on digital TV and internet service. We discussed options and pricing, and ultimately agreed to terms. At the conclusion of the call, I asked what my final cost would be, with and without taxes and fees. I also asked if my monthly charges would be going up at some point. The friendly salesperson informed me that my bill would be around $90 total and would not be going up since the monthly rates were standard, not promotional. I accepted the offer and requested service beginning that week.

When my bill arrived, it was not $90...it was $126. I noticed there was a $25 installation fee tacked on - a mysterious fee that had NOT been disclosed to me at any time during the sales process. It was not on marketing literature I received in the mail. The salesperson on the phone had not disclosed this additional charge. Even when I'd asked her for a final amount, she quoted me a total inconsistent with the bill I was looking at. The RCN man who came to the house to deliver our box never mentioned that there was a fee associated with "installation." I was in complete shock and immediately called and e-mailed customer service to resolve the issue.

At first I was told there was no way to reverse the charge, which is complete and utter nonsense. Charges can always be credited back to the account - customer service representatives are clearly instructed to give consumers zero leeway with regard to claims of this nature. Undeterred, I pressed them for resolution via e-mail. A friendly representative instructed me to sign up for automatic billpay and the fee would be waived. I considered this tantamount to coercive blackmail - if I wanted MY money back, I had to perform a behavior of their choice.

While I did not feel good about the option, I did not feel I should have to pay for a $25 fee I never knew was coming. So I reluctantly called to sign up for automatic billpay. But the customer service representative told me over the phone that it was not their policy to ever waive that installation fee. She told me that whoever had instructed me to sign up for Automatic Billpay to have that fee waived was in error.

At this point I began to unravel. I asked her to put me in contact with someone - anyone - who had the authority to do something about this. She said there was no one who could help me and that according her "records" I knew about the fee in advance. How this could be a matter of record I do not understand. Further, the systematic dismissal of my appeals to a higher authority was unnerving. At the end of the call, I was given the address of corporate headquarters in Hendon, Virginia. As if that was going to help me get my $25 back.

I immediately responded via e-mail to the representative who'd originally instructed me to sign up for Auto Billpay, asking for an explanation and resolution. The following day I received a response from a different RCN rep informing me matter-of-factly that I had been notified about the charge in advance and that I had agreed to it, so I should not expect to have it removed. This is called the "Jedi Mind Trick," a fictional mind control technique that does not work in the real world. Despite the RCN rep's best effort to convince me otherwise, I knew very well that I HAD NOT been told of the charge and I NEVER would have agreed to it in advance.

It was actually insulting that a representative who would have no way of knowing whether I was told of an installation charge could possibly make such an assertion. The truth is, the installation fee was NEVER at any time disclosed to me. If I had known about it in advance and had agreed to it, then I wouldn't have spent so much time and energy over the past 6 weeks trying to have it removed! How many other consumers have been fleeced by unseen fees?

Your Desired Resolution:
I just want a $25 credit applied to my account to offset the $25 installation fee that was not disclosed to me at the time service was requested.

This case will be reviewed by a complaint specialist at the Better Business Bureau, and then forwarded to the business for their response. It is our policy to allow the business 30 working days to respond to your complaint. You will be notified when the business has responded.

***************

In my final bit of correspondence to RCN prior to filing this complaint, I noted an observation:

I am beginning to understand why so many people feel it's okay to "steal" cable when cable companies clearly think it's okay to "steal" from people.

YES WE CAN (BOMB IRAN)

STUPIDEST THINGS EVER SAID, #1

It's rare that I stumble across the most, best, funniest, stupidest, or otherwise "-est" anything to beat all superlatives before it. But today President Bush gave me one. Holy crap - if I didn't read the quote in print I would not have believed it was possible that he actually said this. In fact, I had to check several sources to be sure this is what he actually said. No lie, people. Your president said this today in a speech to the Conservative Political Action Committee:

"We have had good debates and soon we will have a nominee who will carry the conservative banner into this election and beyond. Prosperity and peace are in the balance. So with confidence in our vision and faith in our values, let us go forward ... fight for victory ... and keep the White House in 2008."

Did he just say "prosperity and peace" are in the balance? Is he implying that a vote for anyone other than the Republican nominee would be a threat to the prosperity and peace we now enjoy. OMFG. Yes, I just broke out the shorthand.

I have heard celebrities say some pretty asinine things. I have, myself, after a few rounds too many, spouted off some pretty ignorant shit. This screen capture from CNN is pretty stupid if you ask me. Hell - President Bush HIMSELF has thousands of websites dedicated to the stupid things he's been saying for years.

But in my modest opinion, this one really took the cake. Prosperity and peace?!?!

We have been AT WAR for nearly 7 fucking years. The world hates us. Pakistan is on the brink of nuclear meltdown. Iran is on the verge of lobbing missiles into Tel Aviv just to spite us. North Korea's only real source of GNP comes from selling weapons on the black market. We've been responsible for the deaths of a staggering 500,000 Iraqi people - a number of casualties one might expect to find on Hitler's spreadsheet, not the freedom-loving U S of A. The fallout from our invasion and occupation won't be realized for years to come...which is how long we must stay there, according to the hawks who launched this obscene crusade, if we are to emerge victorious - a word that means NOTHING to parents who pray every night they will get to see their kids one more time.

And what is this "prosperity" of which Bush speaks? Is he referring to the booming housing market or the news that, if we adjust incomes for the rising cost of living, we were actually better off in the broke-ass 70's than we are today. Is this remarkable prosperity the reason Bush and Congress decided to get the checkbook out and pump billions back into the economy? Why the FED keeps cutting interest rates to avoid a worsening crisis? Or perhaps he is speaking of the tremendous value of our currency, with an American dollar now worth LESS on the world market than a Canadian one (No offense, Canada, but that's pretty pathetic).

What in God's holy fuck is Bush talking about? Gas is through the Martha Focker roof. People have no money in the bank. We are peasants with shiny electronics. We OWE tremendous amounts of money to financial institutions. We are slaves to our mortgages, and stuck in houses we can't sell. We are not as free as we think we are. But we eat ourselves fat on a surplus of corn and industrially processed meat products, so we must be happy.

Does Bush actually believe this nonsense? It's like he's reading at a second grade level sometimes - the words come out okay (most of them) but the meaning is entirely forfeit. Makes me wonder if he would pass a comprehension test on his own speech. Dude - you just said prosperity and peace are in the balance. Do you even know what those words mean?

I believe a vote for any Republican nominee who promises more of Bush's brand of "Prosperity and Peace" is a declaration of war against the hardworking people and the principles that made this nation great. There, I said it - with the dwindling remains of my First Amendment Rights.

THE DISAPPR-OVAL OFFICE

El Presidente achieved his lowest approval rating EVER today with a mere 30% of Americans willing to admit they like the job he is doing. And if you think that's pretty sad, the news is even worse for Congress. Their approval fell to just 22%! That's shittier than a nursing home laundry room. And all of this negative feedback comes on the heels of a bipartisan vote to write "stimulus" checks to John Q. Public.

They've got to be wondering what they're doing wrong. They can't even BUY their way out of this pit of disapproval.

What more could the people POSSIBLY want more than a big fat check for nothing? Honesty? Integrity? Cooperation? Accountability? These are silly, abstract concepts. A check is REAL money that people can spend on Lotto tickets, happy hour specials, and discounted designer jeans at Marshalls - the things that make us giddy with pleasure and content in our otherwise meaningless lives. Spending money is the American way!

NOTICE TO WASHINGTON: We do not enjoy war. We do not like being lied to about the reasons we went to war. We do not want half of our tax dollars buying more bullets and bombs for over there instead of books and bridges for over here. We do not like seeing gas prices approaching $4 a gallon while Exxon and Shell post record profits quarter after quarter. We do not like having to decide between food and medicine. We do not like being put out on the curb because some irrationally exuberant financial institution enabled us to buy us a house that was listed well above market price and stuck us with a lending rate they knew would bankrupt us in 3-5 years. We do not like being told to live in a perpetual state of fear and vigilance. We do not like the feeling that the oil lobby has a louder voice in what we drive than the people driving. We do not like wondering if our phone has been tapped because our last name ends in a vowel. We do not like finding out a good bill is loaded down with unrelated earmarks for special interests. We do not like the fact that you voted for the Patriot Act without reading it (didn't think we knew that, did you?). We do not like the fact that you voted for the Patriot Act AGAIN after you found out what it contained. We do not like that you cleverly named the least patriotic bill in American history "The Patriot Act" to fool us into thinking it was good for us. We do not like that (former and current) presidential hopefuls like Kucinich and Paul are prevented from joining the mainstream debate because the media doesn't like what they have to say. We don't like being limited to 2 choices for President every 4 years by a system that makes it virtually impossible for otherwise qualified candidates to get serious consideration unless they happen to have millions of dollars under the mattress. We do not like that Fox News can peddle propaganda unchecked, misinforming the masses around the clock. We do not like that doctors make more money if we stay sick than if we get healthy. We do not like that the answer to every stubbed toe and mosquito bite is a life-long prescription drug. We do not like that keeping your one job is more important than protecting millions of ours.

We do not like the job you are doing, and we do not like that there's nothing we can do about it except bitch to pollsters when they ask how we think you're doing.

MAKING THE CUT

What would you create with a single sheet of white paper and an X-ACTO knife? You might be surprised what's possible.

The following are entries for an art contest at the Hirshhorn Modern Art Gallery in DC. Simply awesome.

THE GREAT ESCAPE

Has this ever happened to you?

SUPERCUTS

People never cease to amaze me. This one is a gem. Thanks to Terry for passing this one along.

ENGLISH DIAGRAMMAR LESSONS

I found this interesting diagram here. Should help eliminate any confusion you may have had regarding the folks who live in this region of the world.

HOLY SHIT!

Google's stock price fell below $500 today. If that's not a clear sign the economy is tanking, I don't know what is.

The good news is, the Spender in Chief is authorizing a nice economic stimulus plan which should net me around $600 or so - which is enough to buy be one fat share of Google at the new sale price and have enough left over for a month full of cinnamon dolce lattes.

America is awesome.

YES WE CAN

You've probably seen this by now, but if not check it out. Great mash-up here of an inspirational Obama speech with some well known artists.

CHOOSE OR LOSE

Just took another one of those fancy candidate selector quizzes. I can't get enough of them. This one is 10 simple questions. Took about 40 seconds. I recommend you give it a whirl and see where you end up. There are only a handful of choices left. Here were my results...

Candidate..........Agreed....Disagreed

1. Barack Obama.......8.........2
2. Hillary Clinton....6.........4
3. Ron Paul...........4.........6
4. John McCain........3.........7
5. Mike Huckabee......1.........9
6. Mitt Romney........1.........9

I already knew Obama was my choice, but it's good to see that, on the issues, he's also the person I want representing my interests in the White House.

Here's an indication of what Bush has done for Republicans. I was on the phone with mom the other day and was shocked to learn that BOTH of my parents voted for Obama in the Democratic Primary. They live in one of Illinois' most Republican counties where I was surprised they were even allowed to vote Democratic.

To further qualify my disbelief, you should know that mom last voted for Pat Buchanan, and dad is one of the last dozen or so people in the country who thinks the invasion and occupation of Iraq was a good idea. Yet, somehow, despite their conservative leanings, they were both eerily drawn to this Obama guy.

Could it be his optimism? His can-do spirit? His pragmatism? His enthusiasm for change? His desire to unite America again where we remain divided?

I later found out it was none of the above. Dad said he planned to vote for McCain in the general - I guess he just wanted to make sure that if the Democrats DID manage to win the presidency it wouldn't be Hillary. But we'll see if that happens. According to this article in Newsweek, a lot of Republicans are crossing over to vote for Obama...and not to screw Hillary. Because they LIKE him.

Imagine the possibility of having a president we actually LIKE for a change. It's been a long, long time...

QUEERSIGHTEDNESS

Way to make a statement. He's really milking that First Amendment for all it's worth.

FREEZE!

A CLASSIC

Here's a municipal transit ad from the UK. All government marketing should be this honest. Too funny.



Don't get it yet? Look harder.

ROSE-TINTED ASSES

HELP!

I'm SO close to finishing this Word Scramble puzzle. Can anyone help me with the last one? I've been stuck on this all day long.

VOTE EARLY, BUT NOT OFTEN

It's not often, but every once in a while we actually take a step in the right direction. Take this early voting thing. Convenient, yes - but beyond that, clearly the right way to promote participation in a democratic society.

I voted yesterday. My state doesn't have its scheduled Primary until February 5th (Super Tuesday), but thanks to early voting, I was able to punch for Obama well in advance...while I was out running errands on a Saturday!

So why is early voting the right way to go?

Think about turnout for these elections and how it's been on the decline. People are disenfranchised - or at least that's the word the politicians like to throw around. While that may, in part, be responsible for low voter turnout, there are actually a number of other things to blame. Inclement weather, for example, has the potential to stifle participation. If there's a snowstorm in Buffalo, that's likely to suppress voter turnout. If there's a squall in the southeast, more folks may opt to forego voting in favor of a warm, dry day indoors. But because voting is limited to a few hours on a single day, there isn't always an opportunity to wait for things to clear up. You either need to brave the elements or your lose your voice. These are not earth-shattering revelations - they're understood truths about our process, and clearly identified room for improvement. Why have we - until now - limited voting to a single day? And why Tuesday? And why in winter, early spring, and late fall when the weather is traditionally at its worst? Sure doesn't seem to ENCOURAGE participation, does it?

Consider the difficulty a Tuesday election day imposes upon the working class. Back when the system was first set up, it made more sense - people were more spread out and often had to travel long distances to city centers, by horse and buggy, to vote. Farmers needed time before and after church to ensure they could get to town to cast their ballot. But we've come a long way since then, and Tuesday elections no longer make any sense. Yet we continue voting on Tuesdays because that's the way it's always been done. And that's the trouble with bureaucracy - new ideas threaten to upset the system, so it is to the system's advantage to maintain the status quo. Even if the system is clearly broken and it doesn't make sense to do so!

Beyond the influence weather and a single voting day can have on turnout, consider our limited polling place options. It's typically mandated that we vote at our designated polling places because that's been the best and easiest way for election officials to keep track of things. Imagine the mayhem associated with keeping track of election results if people could vote wherever they damn well please! And yet technology now affords us ways to keep track of who voted for who, where, and at what time. So it's no longer necessary to force people to get up at 5am, or leave work early, so they don't risk missing an opportunity to cast their vote. They can vote on their lunch hour, or on the way to the office, or on the way home.

The best way to encourage participation in the process is to make it convenient. Early voting does that. I voted where I wanted and when I wanted - well in advance of the established Primary date. There was a list of 51 easy to get to polling places all over Chicago. One was at a local library Geri and I were passing on our way to the dry cleaner. So we pulled in and voted. Took ten minutes. Now we're able to tune out all of these ridiculous campaign ads. Our votes have been cast. We're done. We've been counted. Our selections have been made.

If you have early voting where you live, I highly recommend looking into it. The locations are convenient. The hours are convenient. They're finally removing the barriers to voting that have suppressed turnout for too long, and I applaud those responsible for bringing about this positive change.

Now let's just hope they get the count right!

THE THINGS YOU FIND ONLINE

Here it is. The very worst light switch cover ever. Let's just leave this one turned off, okay? Who designed this? Shocking.

MISMANAGED GASTROINTESTINAL CONTROL

Have you ever ripped a nasty fart at the office? What am I saying - of course you have. Probably in the last hour.

What I MEANT to ask was, have you ever unintentionally blasted an obnoxiously loud fart at the office in the vicinity of other people?

Yeah...I just did about 5 minutes ago. It was pretty bad. I could sense heads turning behind me, but I carefully disregarded the sound. At least at first. I tried to remain calm, pretending the sound of a chainsaw revving didn't just roar from my general direction.

Still, I knew I wouldn't be able to feign ignorance forever - it was THAT loud. So I immediately started fidgeting with my chair as though it was to blame for the awkward sound. But it just clicked and rattled in a way my bowels did not. As hard as I tried, there was no mistaking it - I had farted. Loudly.

I decided I would just play it off as nothing and pretend it never happened. And this worked for about 10 seconds until the scent hit my nostrils. This was going to be harder to ignore. The stench was brutal. I was actually holding my breath at my desk so I didn't have to inhale the wretched aroma. If there had remained any doubt as to the mysterious noise, it was now gone.

So here I sit. A farter. Farting at the office. Loudly, without apology. All I can do now is embrace it.

MAN ARRESTED FOR WHAT?!?

At first, I thought this story was another one of those Onion put-on articles. Turns out to be TRUE!

What kind of world are we living in? This is the worst kind of child abuse I can imagine.

THE PEOPLE ASK

Every once in awhile, I actually get a question from the people. It used to happen a lot more frequently before the blogospheric big bang. Back then AYNtK was a weekly e-letter faithfully distributed on Friday afternoons - so much so that if it arrived just an hour late, people would write to ask if I was okay.

Nothing fosters the illusion that you matter like strangers checking in from around the globe to make sure you didn't buy the farm. These days I just throw up a post whenever it suits me and if people come, they come. Not quite as personal as the old 5pm personal delivery, but I do get to post pictures like this one.

Anyhow - back to the point of this post. (I'm easily distracted by the voices in my head). Every once in a while I actually get a question from the people. This week I received an inquiry from Joe C, who writes:

"I love your site & how you write, I'd reply more often if I could get the damn system to work for me. But since you ask, yes, I do have a burning question for you. How can I convert music written in ABC format to standard notation? Sorry, it's a bit of a specialised question, I'm hoping for a simple straightforward answer, I hope such things still exist in this high tech age." - Joe C.

Joe - first off, thanks for writing. Always good to see these keystrokes are meeting eyeballs out in the void of Internetia.

Second, there IS a way to convert music written in ABC format to standard notation. I would go through the details here, but that would be more than you need to know...which is not the name of this Blog. Instead, in the spirit of teaching a man to fish, I will direct your attention to this handy eHow link. If I understood your question correctly, this should be the direction you require.

Happy converting!


(Any more questions?)

MISSIONARY IMPOSSIBLE

Here's a link to the Tom Cruise indoctrination video that was pulled from YouTube by an angry mob of Scientologists. Thanks to G Money for the lead.

While I fully support Tom's right to believe and practice whatever religion he wants, I have to admit, the things he says in this video are downright mind-blowing. I actually, strangely, admire his conviction - in a way I could never admire GW's. He's convinced he's here to help, and as crazy as that sounds to most people, I can't help but wonder how much better our world and daily lives would be if more people felt this strongly about getting mankind to the next level.

If you're going to go crazy, this is the way to go!

HE GAVE ME THE STINGER MISSILES AND A BILLION DOLLARS

Here are a handful of documentaries produced by the BBC that you won't see in America - the one place that really needs to see them. History unspun.

Each one is about an hour long. I highly recommend throwing the earplugs in before bed and zoning out with the laptop to one of these. Free your mind. Helps explain why our country is so obsessed with the "self" and material consumption, and who this self-centeredness benefits in the end. Hint: It's not us.

I recommend the Power of Nightmares. It catalogs the beginning of the "neo-conservative" movement - starting with a pair of divergent ideologies, and ending with the culture of fear we have today. You may be surprised to learn just how long Rumsfeld and Cheney have been behind the scenes buttfucking America. (And there may be something after all to my grandmother's claim that Richard Perle is satanspawn)

These are some seriously bad characters who have elevated themselves to positions of power. War criminals. Liars without conscience. Again, you won't find programming like this on American television - thank Gore we have the Internet.

Pardon my Freudian slip.

These documentaries also provide great historical background for the insanity of Islamic radicalism - a movement founded to destroy the American purveyors of selfish individualism. It is interesting to look back with the benefit of knowing how the story plays out - and how the two divergent ideologies are now locked in an epic struggle. Both the Islamic Jihad and Neo-onservative movements are led by powerful, manipulative extremists and the hard-working people executing their treacherous will are naive pawns brainwashed into believing they are preserving and protecting their ways of life - which, for some reason, is only possible if the other way of life is defeated. How convenient for the power brokers.

Good versus evil? Don't believe the hype. There's no good and evil here. There's no right and wrong. There are the misled and misled. Can someone turn the lights on in this place?

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"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."

-Plato

UNDRESS REHEARSAL

Since the YouTube feed to Paul's interview on Leno was pulled, I figured I'd find something else to share instead. Here's a radio clip of Ronny P educating conservative talk show host Laura Ingraham on the ills of an interventionist foreign policy. She attempts to rattle the popular Republican candidate with a barrage of tough questions, but since Paul's not one to fall back on rehearsed soundbytes, he's able to unload an argument she can't counter. Her tone changes half way through when she realizes that, unlike some of the other Republican nominees, this guy might actually know what he's talking about.