The first face transplant was performed this week, and surprisingly, Joan Rivers was not involved. I would have thought she'd have been higher on the list.
Blackberry users found out they may no longer be getting e-mail service on their personal hand-held communications pieces – electronic devices so addictive they’re often called Crackberries. If you need access to e-mail every minute of every day, you’re either doing something illegal or you need intense therapy. In my case, it’s therapy – possibly because I don’t have a crackberry. I love e-mail. Really. When's the last time YOU sent me one, you bastard?
Oprah showed up on Letterman last night. Yeah – I got sucked into watching that crap, too. Kind of anticlimactic, no? After all the fuss about this supposed “feud” between the two, they could have at least arm-wrestled or something. Or sumo wrestled in a vat of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
Russia is selling missiles to Iran, but most Americans are too troubled by the Nick and Jessica break-up to concern themselves with such trivial matters.
President Bush laid out his roadmap to victory in Iraq in a speech entitled “Déjà Vu” because most of us remember him declaring victory a year and a half ago. Maybe someone should help him with his "roadmap" so he doesn't keep taking us in circles.
I tweaked a nerve in my back this week and ended up at the chiropractor, where I practically had to sign a two-year contract for treatment before the bastard would “adjust” me. What’s all this “wellness” crap – just punch me in the spine already and send me home. I'm not looking for a partner in health here - I just want the fucking pain to stop. But job security is a powerful incentive, so I forgive him...even if I don't plan on going back.
Jennifer Garner had her baby, but had a hard time naming it since she herself goes by an alias.
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Alright folks - have a great weekend. Be good or good at it.