STUPIDEST THINGS EVER SAID, #1

It's rare that I stumble across the most, best, funniest, stupidest, or otherwise "-est" anything to beat all superlatives before it. But today President Bush gave me one. Holy crap - if I didn't read the quote in print I would not have believed it was possible that he actually said this. In fact, I had to check several sources to be sure this is what he actually said. No lie, people. Your president said this today in a speech to the Conservative Political Action Committee:

"We have had good debates and soon we will have a nominee who will carry the conservative banner into this election and beyond. Prosperity and peace are in the balance. So with confidence in our vision and faith in our values, let us go forward ... fight for victory ... and keep the White House in 2008."

Did he just say "prosperity and peace" are in the balance? Is he implying that a vote for anyone other than the Republican nominee would be a threat to the prosperity and peace we now enjoy. OMFG. Yes, I just broke out the shorthand.

I have heard celebrities say some pretty asinine things. I have, myself, after a few rounds too many, spouted off some pretty ignorant shit. This screen capture from CNN is pretty stupid if you ask me. Hell - President Bush HIMSELF has thousands of websites dedicated to the stupid things he's been saying for years.

But in my modest opinion, this one really took the cake. Prosperity and peace?!?!

We have been AT WAR for nearly 7 fucking years. The world hates us. Pakistan is on the brink of nuclear meltdown. Iran is on the verge of lobbing missiles into Tel Aviv just to spite us. North Korea's only real source of GNP comes from selling weapons on the black market. We've been responsible for the deaths of a staggering 500,000 Iraqi people - a number of casualties one might expect to find on Hitler's spreadsheet, not the freedom-loving U S of A. The fallout from our invasion and occupation won't be realized for years to come...which is how long we must stay there, according to the hawks who launched this obscene crusade, if we are to emerge victorious - a word that means NOTHING to parents who pray every night they will get to see their kids one more time.

And what is this "prosperity" of which Bush speaks? Is he referring to the booming housing market or the news that, if we adjust incomes for the rising cost of living, we were actually better off in the broke-ass 70's than we are today. Is this remarkable prosperity the reason Bush and Congress decided to get the checkbook out and pump billions back into the economy? Why the FED keeps cutting interest rates to avoid a worsening crisis? Or perhaps he is speaking of the tremendous value of our currency, with an American dollar now worth LESS on the world market than a Canadian one (No offense, Canada, but that's pretty pathetic).

What in God's holy fuck is Bush talking about? Gas is through the Martha Focker roof. People have no money in the bank. We are peasants with shiny electronics. We OWE tremendous amounts of money to financial institutions. We are slaves to our mortgages, and stuck in houses we can't sell. We are not as free as we think we are. But we eat ourselves fat on a surplus of corn and industrially processed meat products, so we must be happy.

Does Bush actually believe this nonsense? It's like he's reading at a second grade level sometimes - the words come out okay (most of them) but the meaning is entirely forfeit. Makes me wonder if he would pass a comprehension test on his own speech. Dude - you just said prosperity and peace are in the balance. Do you even know what those words mean?

I believe a vote for any Republican nominee who promises more of Bush's brand of "Prosperity and Peace" is a declaration of war against the hardworking people and the principles that made this nation great. There, I said it - with the dwindling remains of my First Amendment Rights.