URINALYSIS NEGATIVE

Thanks to Karen and Randy for sharing this. According to their forward, the following mural was created by Edge Designs, a woman-run company that designs interior office space. With free rein to design anything they wanted for an office project in NYC, the following design was presented.

If you thought you had stagefright before...












Stagefright is actually a pretty interesting phenomenon that has escaped scientific explanation for years. Also known as Urinalzheimer's, Stagefright is the propensity for the body to "forget" how to discharge urine while the host body is standing in a crowded restroom. The more people in the restroom, and the closer their proximity to the subject, the more severe the symptoms of Urinalzheimer's. Researchers have noted two exceptions to this.

1.) Alcohol's ability to inhibit social awareness actually enables the body to perform as normal in these situations, regardless of how many other people are in the immediate vicinity.

2.) A temporary condition informally referred to as "Fat Dick Days" can facilitate the public urination process. Unfortunately, the "Fat Dick Days" condition is equally mysterious.

"On Fat Dick Days, the male member actually appears more massive in stature - fuller, girthier, and more robust," says Dr. Frank Borscht of the Research Institute for Well Hungarians. "Just as the male sex organ reflexively shrivels up in cold temperatures, it can also swell and expand under other conditions...even in a flaccid state. Armed with an usually fat dick, Urinalzheimer's is not an issue. We just haven't figured out what causes fat dick yet, but it may be the key to defeating Urinalzheimer's for good."

Until then, men will have to rely on alcohol, urinal dividers, and courtesy distance ettiquette when relieving themselves in the presence of other men.