JOY IN MUDDVILLE

Today, the Exxon Mobil Corporation posted record profits. Again.

And not just record profits for Exxon, but record profits for any U.S. company. I should further qualify that. Today, Exxon posted record profits for ANY U.S. company EVER in the history of our great nation. I don't know about you, but it sure makes me proud to be an American. HAY'LL YEAH! Fill me up, baby. I'm living the dream of making men in expensive suits filthy fucking rich. And do you know what? They deserve every cent for providing me the luxury of transportation. Thanks to their product, I don't have to live next to the place I work. I can live miles and miles away in a nice neighborhood and still get to work every day, whether I choose to drive, cab, or take the bus. Thanks to refined oil, I can see my parents whenever I want, which I would do more but for the high price of gas. Thanks to gasoline, I can go wherever I want whenever I want - even pick you up on the way! Yeah - gasoline rules.

The last time they posted record profits (last quarter, I believe), I was a little hard on those bastards. I've had some time to think about it since then and I've since come to the conclusion that they have every right to charge whatever they want for gas. I just want them to be honest about it. Don't tell us gas is expensive because of the war in Iraq or the high price of crude or a shortage in the world's oil reserves. Tell us gas is expensive because they're running their business as any publicly traded company should be run - with shareholder interests in mind. Record profits = stock price goes up.

It's just too bad that consumers didn't have the vision to see how so many areas of our lives would become dependent on a single resource provided by an alarmingly few companies - not to mention how dangerous that is. We keep moving further away from our jobs and our friends and our loved ones to get into bigger and better houses - and now we must pay the ferrymen if we want to remain connected. I can't complain anymore - where I live and what I do are choices I make. I can always move.

The surest way to save on gas is to use less of it.