GERALDO'S MUSTACHE SAVES HOUSTON

Meteorologists reported today that the cities of Houston and Galveston were spared the worst of Hurricane Rita due to a mysterious connection with FOX News correspondent Geraldo Rivera’s mustache.

“Geraldo’s mustache is always at the center of the storm,” said Michael Clifton of the Academy of Atmospheric Sciences. “Take a look at history since Geraldo has been around, dating back to the chair-launching episode on his syndicated talk TV program. The man is a magnet for all that it dangerous in this world. People think he’s got a death wish for putting himself in harm’s way, but the reverse is actually true. Trouble finds HIM.”

An in-depth analysis by weather control teams tracked the path of both Geraldo Rivera’s mustache and Hurricane Rita, revealing a noticeable change in the course of the storm based on the hour-to-hour movement of Geraldo’s mustache.

“I don’t know if he even knows it, but he’s a hero in Houston. Unfortunately, the folks in Beaumont probably want him dead…or worse – shaved.”

Neither Geraldo nor his mustache could not be reached for comment.

WHATCHOOTALKIN'BOUT, WILLIAM?

Every once in a while someone says something so utterly offensive and crude I can’t help but laugh. Most of the time that someone is me. Other times it comes from a public figure who really ought to know better. Take the comment made by former Education Secretary William Bennett this week on his radio program. The author of “The Book of Virtues,” said:

"…I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.”

Yes, my friends – this is an actual statement made by an actual person who probably ought to know better. It’s all over the news if you don’t believe me. In fairness, he did go on to say that it would be “an impossible, ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do,” then added for good measure, “But your crime rate would go down.”

Bennett made these comments in answering a question from a caller on his morning radio program Morning in America, explaining an argument he put forth in a recent book that crime is down because abortion is up. This argument, I should note, is not entirely without support – or merit, objectively speaking. Race aside, a controversial analysis of crime rates and abortion rates suggests there may be a strong connection between the two.

This controversial concept was most notably brought to light in the book Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. The basic (if appalling to some) premise is that unwanted children born to hard-luck parents are far more likely to become criminals later in life, ergo the legalization of abortion, which has prevented the birth of unwanted children since 1973, effectively served to lower crime rates over time. Indeed, the authors point to a statistically significant drop in crime in the early 1990’s that has been attributed to everything under the sun – except what they suggest is the primary reason: fewer babies born after Roe V. Wade that would likely have been out commiting crimes.

There are going to be some people so disturbed by this suggestion they will refuse to believe there is any connection at all, almost as a matter of reflex. I’m not going to say anything further about this other than that I personally found the book a very interesting read, full of interesting theories on what matters and what doesn't. Feel free to form your own opinions, but only after a thoughtful synthesis of all the information at your disposal.

And I wouldn’t go spouting off about it on the radio if you’re a well-known public figure. That’s probably not the kind of attention you want.

And here’s a link to an online survey where you can vote on whether you believe there’s a connection. The results may (or may not) surprise you.

Finally, Sir William isn't really that dumb. His comments were most certainly taken out of context, as most controversial statements these days are. He was taking a thought experiment to the next level to make his point. Feel free to read his response to the furor here.

OPEN LETTER TO THE CITY OF CHICAGO

September 28, 2005

Re: Citation# 90578226XX

To whom it may concern:

I am writing to both contest this ticket and file a formal complaint with the City of Chicago and Department of Revenue.

On the morning of Tuesday, September 27, 2005, I parked my Chrysler Sebring (license plate IL-XXXXXXX) on the west side of 120 N. Morgan Street. I have been working in the area for over a year and am intimately familiar with its many special parking zones and restricted areas. This was not one of them.

Morgan Street between Randolph and Washington is zoned for legal parallel parking. There are vehicles parked there every day of the year, all day long. And there are vehicles parked there right now. It is not metered, nor is it zoned for neighborhood parking, rush hour parking, or a time limit. In short, aside from a driveway in the middle of the block, it is not restricted in any way. I have included photographic evidence for consideration.

I returned to my car at 6pm that evening to discover I had been cited for parking in a “No stand, park anytime” zone. I looked around for either permanent or temporary signage indicating that this was a “No stand, no park” zone and saw nothing. I had been unscrupulously ticketed by a renegade employee of the Department of Revenue! Not only that, but the car in front of me had also been given an erroneous ticket.

As I opened my car door, a uniformed Chicago police officer flagged me down. Officer Grabowski informed me he was on foot patrol in the area, noticed my ticket, and wanted to know why I had received a ticket. I told him I did not know and expressed my frustration with the phantom violation. He first inspected the ticket, then inspected the street and told me that I was LEGALLY parked and should NOT have received the ticket. He then suggested I take pictures (see attached) and formally contest the notice of violation.

I inquired as to the possible motives a Department of Revenue employee might have for issuing a fallacious citation, wondering if perhaps they sometimes manufacture violations to meet quotas. It was during this discussion that Officer Grabowski and I noticed a sign on a nearby streetlight. The sign had been turned all the way around to face the sidewalk and was not visible from the street. We immediately investigated.

The sign, which should have been facing the street, was intended to indicate there was no parking in front of a driveway about 20 feet south. But because it had been turned around, the arrow on the sign, as viewed from a pedestrian on the sidewalk, pointed in the direction of the cars that were legally parked – mine included. The ticketing officer had read the sign from the SIDEWALK, not from the street as it had been intended, and issued parking notices for cars that were actually parked legally. If the sign had been turned around, the arrow would have been pointing south toward the driveway instead of toward the cars parked legally north of the driveway. I would like to assume this is an honest mistake, rather than an employee of the city fleecing law-abiding citizens by writing false citations.

As we parted ways, Officer Grabowski said that he would try to find someone from Streets & Sanitation to come by and turn the sign around so that it faced the right direction. Hopefully, he said, this would prevent confused city employees from erroneously handing out violations.

Sincerely,

Terry V. Mertens, Jr.
312-XXX-XXXX
tmertens_72@yahoo.com

P.S. I have attached a series of photos that were taken with the help and direction of Officer Grabowski.


This is the sign on the building south that indicates no parking. No cars were parked in front of this sign, as the no parking zone was properly observed by all drivers.








This is the no parking sign that bookends the zone on the south. The sign that bookends the zone on the north is the one that was turned around. No cars were parked between the signs.









These are cars legally parked on the west side of the street, north of the no parking zone. My car is the second one in the photo with the door open. The sign on the pole is clearly facing the building. If turned around, the sign correctly indicates that the no parking zone is to the south.










This is the sign that was turned around. The picture is taken facing east, so the arrow is pointing north. Turned around correctly, the arrow would be pointing south.










This is a photo of the backwards sign taken from the middle of the street. Officer Garbauski suggested this one for good measure.

HOLY MOSES!

I love this one.

Moses Bittok, 40, immigrated from Kenya to the U.S. to live the American dream – and did he ever. He fucking won the Lotto the day he became a U.S. citizen! Yes, this is a true story.

Shortly after taking the oath of citizenship in Des Moines, Iowa last Friday, Moses discovered he had won $1.89 million in the Iowa Lottery's Hot Lotto game. He cashed in his ticket yesterday, electing to spread out his winnings over 25 years with annual payments of $52,920…AFTER taxes. Sorry ladies, Moses is married and has a 4-year-old little girl.

Like many immigrants, "Mojo" Moses came to the U.S. to attend college, after which he moved to Iowa and took a job at a women's prison. He bought the winning ticket at a West Des Moines grocery store where he used to work part time. I can hear Moses now, declaring his disbelief excitedly in a thick Kenyan accent: “I canno believe it. Is this heaven?”

No Moses – it’s Iowa.

Congratulations.

PLAY BALL

Here's an exciting link for baseball fans and collectors of sports memoribilia...

Don't skip the captions - they're the best part!

LET'S TALK ABOUT MY NUTS

I don't know who invented pistachios, but I'd like to buy that guy a beer. Pistachios are hands down the best tasting nuts ever invented. And they're even better when I take the time to get the shells off.

Speaking of nuts, did you know that peanuts aren't really nuts? It's true. Technically, they're classified as legumes (starchy tubers like beans) and come from the same family as peas! Hence the "pea" in "peanut."

Now you know. And do you know what else? I'm not wearing pants. Deal with THAT.

THE JOURNEY TO ETERNITY BEGINS WITH TEQUILA

I wanted to give a shout out to Wetnap and the Skipper this week - two good friends who will be tying the knot this Saturday. Congratulations, friends!

In celebration, we took Wetnap (it's better that you don't ask) out for drinks this past Saturday evening for a bar crawl in Wrigleyville, a neighborhood named for its proximity to Wrigley Field - home of the Chicago Cubs. The revelrous event, organized in the spirit of something called a "bachelor party," started with a bunch of friends at a nearby apartment, pounding beers and knocking back shots of tequila while watching college football. By bachelor party standards, and unlike the guest of honor, it was all very tame.

The "entertainment" consisted of a blow-up pig that looked more like Thomas the Train than any swine I've seen. Wetnap was informed it would be his date for the evening and was instructed to carry it closely at all times. He would try to ditch the pig several times that night, to no avail.

At 8pm sharp, the cavalcade of socially lubricated well-wishers hit Clark Street. 6+ hours later I was spotted cutting a carpet at Casey Moran's. What started out a rug ended up requiring a lot more square feet. I'm told it was not pretty, but that's what happens when enough tequila makes it to the toes. I think I cabbed back to Geri's from there where I hungrily stuffed leftover pizza into my face and promptly passed out, but details are sketchy.

Wetnap e-mailed this morning (3 days later) and said he was still recovering. Despite there being no arrests, no embarrassing pictures, and no major injuries, we agreed the evening was a success.

Unfortunately, there's no word on the pig. If anyone sees a stray blow-up pig wandering about aimlessly in the vicinity of Clark and Addison, please let me know. Wetnap would like to apologize and make it up to her.

A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

The views represented within this advertisement in no way represent the views of the editorial staff of this web blog. (We, in fact, think Heineken tastes closer to rectal discharge than any other lager domestic or imported)

FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES

Being left high and dry isn't always a bad thing. If God was hoping to just blend in with the rest of us, I'd say his cover is blown.

HUMAN BEING 2029320114: EXPIRES 11/23/2034

A few of us at work got into a discussion the other morning about death - a perfectly natural conversation about mortality over morning coffee. I injected my contribution in the form of a tough “what if” question.

What if someone made you an offer? 70 Years. Take it or leave it. You’d be guaranteed to live until 70, but that’s it. On your 70th birthday you’re done. Gone. Dead forever. The office smokestack immediately responded, “I’ll take it!” A second person said he’d take the sure thing as well. I hadn't realized the question was such a no-brainer, so I downgraded the offer to 60 years. Both of them instantly balked.

“Come on,” I said. “You’re GUARANTEED 60.”

They both, being a lot closer to 60 than I am, declined.

“What about 65?” I asked. I could hear the gears turning in their heads. Hamsters running in wheels. Warehouses full of chimpanzees with abacuses, sliding wooden balls and recording the results with their feet.

Nope. Not good enough, they agreed simultaneously.

“Okay," I said. "What about 69? Everybody likes 69."

They both pondered it, then announced forecefully that 69 didn’t make the cut either.

“So wait a second here. That’s it then? 70 you’ll take, but not 69? The difference seems negligible to me, but you're saying 70 is what you'd need? I guess 70 is your magic number. Everybody’s got a magic number.”

Noting the surprise in my voice, they turned the tables and asked what MY magic number was. At first I stood by my policy of not answering my own questions, but then I started to think about it. I’m relatively young, don’t smoke, drink a lot less than I used to, and eat a lot of soy and sushi. But I’ve also got chronic asthma and a habit of walking into traffic without looking both ways. So, like everybody else, I could live to be 90 or die this afternoon.

My magic number, I thought, would probably be higher than 70 – but not too much higher. If I could be as alert and alive as I am today at 87, that would be one thing. But I understand the aging process can take a lot out of a person. Would living to be 87 or more even be worth it? I’d jog a lot less. My eyesight and hearing would go. Arthritis would set in. I’d start complaining about the weather – even when it’s gorgeous outside. At some point I suppose I’d need to acknowledge a life lived well and cash my chips in, right? So when would I like to die? 72? 75? 89? 115?

But then I circled back and asked considered the mystery of not knowing. Not knowing is part of what keeps us sane, I thought. It keeps us in order. What’s the incentive to obey the law if you’re scheduled to expire in a week? What’s the incentive to do anything? Indeed, one of the biggest incentives in life is not dying. Just ask anyone who's had a gun held to their head.

And yet there was something alluring about that guarantee. The security of KNOWING you’ll be around for 10 more years, 4 more years, 16 more years, 4 more months, whatever it happens to be. I imagined there would be an odd comfort in having an expiration date. It would be good for planning things – like trips abroad, and family reunions. You’d know exactly how long you’d need to make that nest egg last. If I knew I were going to die at 47, I’d stop saving for retirement right now and go buy a plasma television.

An expiration date would also be good for getting things off your chest. Think of all the things you’d like to tell people, but never do. I’m not talking about hateful, mean-spirited things. I’m talking about things that are much harder to say, like “I love you,” and “I’m sorry.” It seems we’re always waiting for a better time to share feelings like these because they make us feel emotionally vulnerable. But when you know your time is running out, you’ll pretty much let spill every sappy thought you’ve ever had. Better to come clean now than to take worldly regrets to the afterlife. It’s almost scary to think of how much love would be exchanged if we took away tomorrow. And why isn’t that loved exchanged today if none of us is guaranteed tomorrow?

The mystery of expiration keeps us quiet.

“My magic number?” I asked aloud. “70 is an attractive guarantee – but I don’t think I could take it. Or 75. Or 80. It might be comforting for a while, but I think, ultimately, knowing would drive me crazy. I think I’d prefer to take my chances and not know. So it could be tomorrow. It could be next year. It could be when I'm 102.”

The tables turned, I got a little of my own medicine. “Come on,” said the smokestack, “Who wouldn’t take 95? That guarantees you a long, long life.”

“That’s very true,” I replied, “But it doesn’t guarantee you a happy, healthy one. What if 30 seconds after you agreed to a 95 year deal you wiped out on a wet floor, cracked your head, and slipped into a life-long coma? Or what if you were unfairly implicated in a crime and wound up behind bars? Or what if a freak accident or terrorist attack left you blind and armless? So much could happen in life – you just don’t know. Nope, I’m going to say I like the mystery. You guys can have 70. I’ll die when I die.”

Twenty minutes later I started thinking about how nice 70 would be. The question was tougher than I thought. Fortunately, I wouldn't have to sign a contract of expiration in this lifetime. God makes the tough choices, I thought. We just have to live with them.

Or die, as it happens...

FRIENDLY REMINDER

Just wanted to remind everyone that tomorrow is Bring a Hammer to Work Day. Some people prefer ball peen, others claw. I'm more a sledge man. If you don't have a hammer, feel free to bring a rubber mallet.

IN-BETWEEN DAYS

What is today?

Friday?

Friday, September 23rd?

Friday, September 23rd, 2005?

Today is both finite and infinite at the same time, both fleeting and forever. Today is always going on – it is the everlasting present in which you exist. And yet, for all its ubiquity, there can only be one today. Defined, today is the period of time bookended by 12.a.m. last night and 12 a.m. tonight. So today is every day...but it is also a single day. And for all of the many days in our lives, I might submit that there’s really only one. Which one, you ask? Today, of course.

Yes – just one. For most of us, barring an unanticipated apocalypse, there’s probably going to be a tomorrow. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Tomorrow is, as Annie would say, always a day away. Today I’m talking about today – and there’s only one. How else can I put this?

What’s the date today? September 23, 2005? Okay – there will only be one day with that date, and then it’s history. Just one single 24-hour period in the vast, unimaginable history of the universe (for how long, or short, as we have known it) that we have named September 23, 2005. We give it this name so that we can look back and reference it if we want to. Instead of saying the day before the day before the day before the day before yesterday, we simply say September 18th, 2005. Dates make talking about time a little easier.

Anyhow, since there’s only one September, 23, 2005 – which happens to be today – then there’s really only one today. And I think that makes today pretty damn special. Don’t you? Further, there will only be one day with tomorrow’s date, September 24, 2005. One day in all of recorded history. That’s what makes each day so special – while they all run together to form weeks and months in neatly grouped patterns of time, each day is incredibly unique in unfathomable ways.

But there have been many September 23rds, you say. That is true. There have been many September 23rds – dating back to the very first September. That would have been around 753 B.C. when Romulus, the founder of Rome, threw together a 10-month day planner based on a Greek lunar calendar. September was the 7th month on that calendar, which only had 304 days for the entire year, thanks (wishfully, perhaps) to the exclusion of about 61 days of winter. A lot of us wouldn’t mind excluding 61 days of winter if we could, but good luck getting your congressman to give that suggestion more than a courtesy chuckle.

While we’re talking about days, here’s another interesting tidbit. The early Romans originally had 8-day weeks instead of 7. Their days corresponded to the first 8 letters in the alphabet, A-H, and a “market” was always held on the 8th day, so the weeks were called Market Weeks. It is unclear whether the Beatles had the early Romans in mind when they sang “8 days a week.” Just as the Beatles learned that 8 days a week were not enough to show they cared, it was soon discovered that 8 day weeks were not mathematically practical for documenting the earth’s journey around the sun. Some edits had to be made.

A number of tinkering Romans tweaked the calendar to their liking in the years that followed, the most notably being Julius Caesar and Pope Gregory XIII. It was Caesar’s Julian Calendar that gave us the 7-day week as we know it.

Sunday – Dies Solis (day of the sun)
Monday – Dies Lunae (day of the moon)
Tuesday – Dies Martis (day of Mars)
Wednesday – Dies Mercuri (day of Mercury)
Thursday – Dies Iovis (day of Jupiter)
Friday – Dies Veneris (day of Venus)
Saturday – Dies Saturni (day of Saturn)

You’ll note that Friday is named for Venus, the Roman Goddess of Love. And Friday just happens to be today – can you feel the love? Sure you can. Now if everyone will just hug one person tonight, maybe we can put a little love back into Fridays. But I digress…

The Julian calendar adopted in 46 B.C. was actually identical to the Alexandrian Aristarchus' calendar from nearly 200 years earlier. It consisted of 12 months and 365 days, with an extra day every fourth year to round out a solar year. That’s pretty much what you and I are used to today. Pope Gregory XIII later decided to make a few revisions in 1582, primarily to correct for a drift in the dates of significant religious events and observations, like Easter. And there you have it – a brief history of the calendar. But let’s not let today get away from us.

There have been many September 23rds, and with any luck at all there will be plenty more to come. But there will only be one September 23, 2005. Today is its own day – similar to many other days like it, yet very unique. How exactly is it different?

All of the variables in the equation of life are in constant flux. Heavenly bodies are moving all around us. The universe is expanding, or so folks with big telescopes tell us. Perhaps more noticeably, the state of our planet is always changing. Weather is always changing. Wildlife is always changing. We the people are always changing. People die. People are born. Every single day there’s a whole new mix. And things seem to be changing faster today than they ever have. Centuries ago, very little seemed to change in the span of ten years. Some indigenous cultures in the remotest places on earth still notice very little change from day to day, week to week, and year to year. As a result, their concept of “time” is remarkably different from ours. Some of these cultures don’t even have words like “when” in their lexicon! There is no concept of time beyond the present. There’s only right now. Only today.

The civilized world on the other hand is preoccupied with tomorrow. Everything is a forecast. Never mind today, what’s going to happen tomorrow? So much of today is spent planning tomorrow. And then tomorrow comes and what do we do? We spend it planning the next day. Do we ever just stop and live for today? After all, there’s only one.

The other day I started filling in the boxes of my calendar at work – not with the things I planned to do in the weeks ahead, but with the little things I did in the days behind. Every single square tells its own story. The day I watched the first episode of Survivor. The day Geri and I met a bunch of friends at the Guinness Oyster Fest on Division Street. The day we enjoyed sushi on my rooftop as the sun went down. All days gone by – and not a single one subject to change. The days in the boxes ahead, however – those seem pretty much open for whatever. Anything can happen. Perhaps that’s why we spend so much time thinking about them. There’s so much hope in the future. Hope for the best – whatever that might be.

As I write this, life is changing. September 22nd is gone and not subject to change. September 23rd is happening now. Can you feel it? Sure you can. Stop, look, and listen. Smell, taste, and feel. That’s now, baby. Don’t panic – this is how now is supposed to feel. It feels weird to slow down – we’re so used to speeding around from one thing to the next. But of all those squares in the calendar that we fill with little notes, reminders, and stuff to do, only one really matters.

Today is Friday, September 23rd, 2005. There will never be another one. The idea is to see how many of yesterday’s hopes you can fit into today’s box – because tomorrow can’t be enjoyed. Tomorrow is an illusion. It’s a movie in your head. It’s not until tomorrow becomes today that you can appreciate it. Which brings me back to my original question: What is today?

That's easy.

YOU are today. Isn't that what matters?

THE OPEN ROAD

If you think the folks LEAVING town in this photo have it bad, take a look at the poor bastards on the other side of the highway headed back INTO town. Don't you hate it when you can't remember if you turned the oven off?

Or perhaps they're just anxious looters hoping to get a jump on the action. Nobody wants to rummage through piles of shit that's already been picked over. The early bird gets the worm.

SIMPLY TARABLE

Tara Reid's reality program "Taradise" on the E! Channel was cancelled this week to no one's surprise or disappointment. Tara, who was last seen investigating the bottom of a bottle, could not be reached for comment.

STRAIGHT FROM THE HEADLINES

As you might imagine, I scan the online headlines day after day for interesting news and tidbits to share. One thing I’ve noticed in all my browsing is that clarity is often sacrificed for brevity. In short (so to speak), headlines are often vague – and subject to misinterpretation. Consider some of these ACTUAL headlines - given a little different spin…

FOSTER PARENTS GET PRISON FOR BEATING
Randall and Jane McAdams complained for years that their basement was too small to administer “proper” beatings to their 4 foster children, Haley, Mark, Gretchen, and Fiona. Thanks to a grant from the state, and with the support of the Cornell County Department of Corrections, they’ve been given a little extra elbow room. The McAdams Prison, set for construction in early 2006, will be a freestanding three-room beating facility located in the Foster parents’ backyard. Community supporters say…”

BUSH VOWS TO REBUILD NEW ORLEANS
In a pair of dirty overalls and holding a shiny new hammer in his hand, President George W. Bush announced late Thursday night plans to single-handedly put the city of New Orleans back together. “It’s going to take a lot of hard work,” said the President. “But I’m not afraid of hard work. Hard work is what America is all about. I’ll be working out there night and day, because there’s much work to be done. And the hard-working people of the city of New Orleans will work with me to get everything worked out. It’s a work in progress right now, but with the right work ethic, working people can work together and work wonders. Working work work is the work and work of working workers work work hard work.”

SEVERAL MINIVANS FARE POORLY IN TESTS
Despite countless hours of lectures and intensive coaching, a number of motor vehicles failed yet again to register a score on the college entrance ACT test. For the second time in as many tries, the Chrysler Town & Country, Dodge Grand Caravan, Honda Odyssey, and Pontiac Montana SV6 all failed after taking the standardized exam. “We don’t really understand the results. Something else is going on here that people aren’t talking about. Not a single participant scored even single point. It’s like they weren’t even trying,” said Insurance Industry analyst Beth Jorgenson. “The thought was that “smarter” cars would yield lower insurance premiums for consumers. These results are discouraging.” A make-up exam has not yet been scheduled.

EXPERTS BLAME FLOODING ON FAULTY LEVEES
A number of experts are now placing blame for the flooding in New Orleans on faulty levees. Blue Ribbon Chef Charlie Parsons, Gynecologist Bob Havleson, Advertising Creative Director Will Lawton, and Public Policy Specialist Sherry McDonough – all experts in their fields – say they took one look at the footage on their televisions and instinctively knew the levees were to blame. “It was clear to me,” said Bob Havleson, “The levees are there to hold back water. They were holding back water before the storm even. If the levee breaks, water is going to rush in and flood stuff.” Will Lawton echoed this observation, adding “In my expert opinion, there was an issue with the levees. It kind of reminded me of that Led Zeppelin song, actually. You know? When the levee breaks? Kind of eerie – don’t you think? It’s almost as if Robert Plant KNEW the levee would break. Is he still alive? Maybe somebody should talk to him. He may know something about Kashmir, too.”

THAT IS TO SAY...

Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld estimates the odds of finding Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq at a press conference Tuesday.

CARS PEOPLE LOVE

Thinking of a new car?

J.D. Powers just released its list of the top vehicles by owner satisfaction. Here are the motor vehicles that topped the list, by category:

Compact car: MINI Cooper
Entry midsize car: Pontiac G6
Premium midsize car: Kia Amanti
Full-size car: Toyota Avalon
Entry Luxury car: Lexus IS300/IS300 SportCross/Mercedes-Benz C-class
Mid luxury car: Lexus GS300/GS430 (2006)
Premium luxury car: Lexus LS430
Sporty car: Ford Mustang
Premium sports car: Chevrolet Corvette
Midsize pick-up: Honda Ridgeline (2006)
Light-duty full-size pick-up: Cadillac Escalade EXT
Heavy-duty full-size pick-up: GMC Sierra HD
Entry SUV: Kia Sportage
Mid-size SUV: Nissan Murano
Full-size SUV: Nissan Armada
Entry luxury SUV: Lexus RX400h (2006)
Premium luxury SUV: Land Rover Range Rover
Midsize van: Honda Odyssey
Full-size van: Chevrolet Express

YOU CAN THANK ME LATER

Better fill up on gas now. Rita is a full-fledged Category 5 hurricane with sustained winds of 165MPH. It's expected to plow into the coast of Texas this weekend. When Katrina hit, gas prices soared above $3/gallon on news oil production in the gulf had to be suspended. Energy experts are saying Rita could have a far worse impact as it poses much greater risk to oil-refinery capacity in places like Houston and Galveston. Many are predicting hikes in prices as high as $5 a gallon!

I repeat - fill up your cars now.

BABBLING ON AND ON

Here's a cool word game I've been addicted to lately. It's called Babble and you basically just make words out of letters to score points.

Mindless fun for the bored at work crowd - or for killing ten minutes in the morning while you wait for your coffee to do its job. There's a new puzzle every day and as you get better your rank improves. Enjoy!

P.S. - Check out who's hanging out in the 'Friends of Babble' section.

WHEN YOUR SHIP COMES IN

Here's a picture I thought would be perfect for a jigsaw puzzle called "Katrina."