In case you missed the Vice Presidential debate last night, here's a copy of Sarah Palin's cheat sheet. She made expert use of it imho.
My friend JB summarized the spectacle quite well, I thought. Without his permission, I'll let him describe it for you:
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As expected, the local paper greets me this morning with the headline: "GOP hopeful holds own during debate." I guess if the Couric/Gibson interviews are your baseline, she was fucking phenomenal. Knocked it out of the park. If you'd never heard of her before and your baseline is what most rational citizens might expect from an oval office candidate, it was once again tragically embarrassing. Some of my favorite highlights:
- What I have to imagine was the first ever VP debate "shout out."
- Her affectionate use of the term Joe Six Pack.
- The wink!
- The look on Biden's face during the stretches where Palin seemed to be randomly stringing words together in the hopes of filling her time (pretty much any time they showed Biden...)
- Her claim that "energy" is her "area of expertise." (I can only assume that living on top of oil is to energy expertise as living next to a foreign country is to foreign policy expertise.)
- Her suggestion that McCain's Vietnam service means he "knows how to win a war." (Uh, (1) we lost that war, (2) McCain was shot down twice, then (3) captured and held for the entire conflict... not exactly a winning resume)
- And dag nabbit, I love me them folksy witticisms!
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Thanks, JB. That was it in a nutshell. Holy friggin' shit...millions of people are actually going to punch the ticket with her name on it CHOOSING her to be Vice President.
Looks like 8 years of Bush has really lowered the bar for the highest posts in the land.
Can we just dispell the myth of offshore drilling once and for all?
Even the U.S. Department of Energy is in agreement here - offshore drilling is not a viable solution to our dependence on foreign oil. It would take another 20 years to fully realize, and even then would only represent a sliver of our national consumption. Instead of investing in subsidies that encourage oil companies to extract this relatively insignificant amount of oil, why not invest in alternative technologies that will actually have an impact on consumption?
Have you heard about the Chevy Volt? Up to 40 miles on an electric battery before requiring even a drop of gas. This is just the beginning.
We have the technology. It's really not that far-fetched. Corporations are slowly catching on, finally beginning to provide products that make sense (from a conservation perspective at least, if not economical just yet), and we need to make smart decisions as consumers to support and sustain innovation of this nature. This is how we will finally escape from an unhealthy relationship with oil.
We'll all be able to stay connected over long distances, get to work and back every day, and take those long road trips...without help from the fickle sheiks and barons who control our every move.
Even McCain supporters are beginning to have a hard time with his choice for Vice President because the more she opens her mouth, the clearer it becomes: she is woefully under-qualified for the position. How could McCain possibly have come to the conclusion that Palin was the best person to succeed him as President of the United States? It makes no sense at all.
Fareed Zakaria, in this article, actually calls her "dangerously ignorant." He goes on to say that McCain's selection of her was "irresponsible" and in no way consistent with his commitment to always put "country first." In this critical decision, he was clearly not thinking of the country.
I loved Fareed before, but I love him even more now for calling it like it is: A massive political blunder that puts all Americans in danger.
COURIC: Why isn't it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families who are struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries; allow them to spend more and put more money into the economy instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?
PALIN: That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, were ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health-care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy, helping the—it's got to be all about job creation, too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health-care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans. And trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing. But one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today, we've got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.
If you're wondering about money and banks and how in fuck's Eden we ended up in this mess, check out this informational cartoon. It's a 45-minute lesson on banking that explains all you need to know. For example, it describes how bank loans are not backed by assets in the vault. In fact, they're backed only by the signature of the person promising to pay it back. So, in essence, banks are creating money. They don't actually have the physical money to cover all of these loans they're handing out!
The result? Enough bad loans and WaMu - you're done!
Seriously, check out the vid. It's super enlightening as a morning econ refresher with your morning coffee.
Really - click on it and sit back. You will learn some amazing shit about banks. I didn't really know there was anything amazing about banks until I watched this, but MAN, what a scam these suits are running on us. All that money we've been borrowing?? It's all backed by deposits of other loans from other banks. LOANS. Not deposits of hard currency in circulation, but money created by banks. And it's all legal because our government was complicit in enabling the entire thing.
The bottom line is, as we all know, debt is BAD. But somewhere along the way, we were told that it was okay to have debt. In fact, it became NORMAL for Americans to owe the bank so much money it would take 30 YEARS to pay it back.
How is that normal? Think about that. Agreeing to give a quarter to half of your monthly income every month for 30 years to a bank in exchange for a house that leaks. And yet, that's what goes on every day. And it's easy to understand why. How else would any of us own anything? We'd all be renters because, let's face it, who has $200K sitting in the bank to buy a house? And if you did have $200K, you probably wouldn't dump it all on a house. That's a lot of beer money.
Check out the video. Every American should be versed on these simple principles so we understand what is happening. That way we'll be able to spot a bad bailout plan when we see one.
Now this is some funny shit right here. I like Matt Damon's comparison of Palin's selection to the plot of a Disney movie. These folks take it to the next level.
Are you stashing cash in the lining of your mattress yet? Won't be long now and it'll be every man, woman, and child for his or herself. The hits keep coming with collapses of major lending institutions, insurance companies, secondary mortgage market players, the stock market, and the dollar overseas. Inflation has arrived and it's going to take a big chunk out of your wallet. Have you felt it yet? Retailers have.
Prices on everything are set to go up in Q4, beginning October 1st. Manufacturers have sent letters to distributors and resellers informing them of widespread price increases. Everything you bought yesterday will cost more tomorrow. For a while, the retail sector sought absorb these increases - hoping to win the price battle, trading margin to keep volume up. But they can't sustain the loss any longer. These price increases are about to get handed off to consumers. Get ready to tighten up that belt.
It won't be obvious at first. Large grocers, for example, know the secret to phasing in the price increase. They'll eat the cost of milk - a staple with which we're all familiar - and keep it hovering around the $3 a gallon mark. This lulls consumers into a false sense of economic security. As long as milk isn't going up, our subconscious tells us, prices across the board will be fine.
And then we see the total at the check out. Our $40 purchase is now $63.50. That $75 trip is now $101.24. Everything else we're buying is more expensive. Another tactic? Impossible math. You'd have to be Rainman to calculate the unit price of anything in the stores these days. This is something that has personally bothered me for years, but why can't the store ever tell me how much just ONE of something costs? Everything is 5 for $11, or 3 for $8.88, or BUY TWO, GET ONE FREE. I have to bring a calculator shopping to figure out that, on a per unit basis, I'm getting robbed.
The reason, of course, is simple. Grocers don't want you to know how much just one costs. That would make you an informed shopper. And informed shoppers are not good for business. What they want are zombie shoppers...people pacing the aisles, unwilling or unable to calculate costs on the fly, grabbing products and filling their carts. 6 for $10? Sounds like a great deal! Until you do the math and realize that $1.66 isn't a bargain for fucking yogurt.
Get smart. Do the math. Read the fine print on those tags where they list the unit price (if you can). Be informed. Make smarter decisions. Save money.
And stuff those savings in your mattress where they'll be safe.
Yeah, this once-amusing blog that had oft flirted shamelessly with the subtle hilarities of human introspection has been reduced to an outlet for political propaganda.
I promise it won't be like this forever. I will rise again. I will have stories to tell about my life in corporate America. I will have heartfelt insights to share as a proud step-father. I will have keen observations to note in the realm of the defacatory arts. I will describe embarrassing moments. I will turn you onto Showtime's original programming, all of which is top-notch from Dexter to Weeds to Californication. I will tell you things that you may have heard but did not know were true: like the iPhone is pretty sweet, but the AT&T network is the absolute worst. I will wax philosophic on the role alcohol has played in advancing procreation.
But for today, more important matters are at hand. Somehow I feel obligated to share whenever someone has put into words something I wish I had the time to put into words.
Yes, it's political. So if that's going to turn you off, turn away now. Unless you're bored. Otherwise, wade a little deeper.
You know, McCain was once I guy I liked, admired, and respected. That was back when he wasn't afraid to break ranks with his crusty, white-bred party to support ideas that actually made sense. Believe it or not, the party of G-Dubs does not corner the market on brilliant ideas. That was back when he was "The Real McCain," or the "Maverick," as he so proudly calls himself these days. Fiercely independent. His own man.
But he's Rove's man these days. A man of the system. A victim, maybe. Another disappointment in a long line of disappointments, certainly.
These days he's all about fear and smear. And every time he's had an opportunity to stand up and do the right thing by denouncing these tactics as harmful to the process, calling for "reform" as he had so many times before he woke up and discovered he was viable, he's gone the way of the Rove. He's supported the fear. He's supported the smear.
There was a time I actually liked McCain. Andrew Sullivan essentially summarized for me the reasons I've moved away from him and no longer hold him in high esteem. I've posted it below for your reading pleasure. Just another career politician contributing to the problem...
************************************* Andrew Sullivan on McCain's Integrity
10 Sep 2008 01:40 pm
For me, this surreal moment - like the entire surrealism of the past ten days - is not really about Sarah Palin or Barack Obama or pigs or fish or lipstick. It's about John McCain. The one thing I always thought I knew about him is that he is a decent and honest person. When he knows, as every sane person must, that Obama did not in any conceivable sense mean that Sarah Palin is a pig, what did he do? Did he come out and say so and end this charade? Or did he acquiesce in and thereby enable the mindless Rovianism that is now the core feature of his campaign?
So far, he has let us all down. My guess is he will continue to do so. And that decision, for my part, ends whatever respect I once had for him. On core moral issues, where this man knew what the right thing was, and had to pick between good and evil, he chose evil.
When he knew that George W. Bush's war in Iraq was a fiasco and catastrophe, and before Donald Rumsfeld quit, McCain endorsed George W. Bush against his fellow Vietnam vet, John Kerry in 2004. By that decision, McCain lost any credibility that he can ever put country first. He put party first and his own career first ahead of what he knew was best for the country.
And when the Senate and House voted overwhelmingly to condemn and end the torture regime of Bush and Cheney in 2006, McCain again had a clear choice between good and evil, and chose evil.
He capitulated and enshrined torture as the policy of the United States, by allowing the CIA to use techniques as bad as and worse than the torture inflicted on him in Vietnam. He gave the war criminals in the White House retroactive immunity against the prosecution they so richly deserve. The enormity of this moral betrayal, this betrayal of his country's honor, has yet to sink in. But for my part, it now makes much more sense. He is not the man I thought he was.
And when he had the chance to engage in a real and substantive debate against the most talented politician of the next generation in a fall campaign where vital issues are at stake, what did McCain do? He began his general campaign with a series of grotesque, trivial and absurd MTV-style attacks on Obama's virtues and implied disgusting things about his opponent's patriotism.
And then, because he could see he was going to lose, ten days ago, he threw caution to the wind and with no vetting whatsoever, picked a woman who, by her decision to endure her own eight-month pregnancy of a Down Syndrome child in public, that he was going to reignite the culture war as a last stand against Obama. That's all that is happening right now: a massive bump in the enthusiasm of the Christianist base. This is pure Rove.
Yes, McCain made a decision that revealed many appalling things about him. In the end, his final concern is not national security. No one who cares about national security would pick as vice-president someone who knows nothing about it as his replacement. No one who cares about this country's safety would gamble the security of the world on a total unknown because she polled well with the Christianist base. No person who truly believed that the surge was integral to this country's national security would pick as his veep candidate a woman who, so far as we can tell anything, opposed it at the time.
McCain has demonstrated in the last two months that he does not have the character to be president of the United States. And that is why it is more important than ever to ensure that Barack Obama is the next president. The alternative is now unthinkable. And McCain - no one else - has proved it.
This is another gem for your files. Nothing like a political throwdown to get America's creative juices flowing. Check out the phone call McCain made to Sarah Palin when he asked her to be his running mate.
This Daily Show snippet is another classic. Calling out the hypocrites and their double standards by using their own words. Genius.
Seriously - this heretofore little-known woman, who I am certain is a fantastic person, is one slip in the shower away from being leader of the free world. One playful "boo!" away from the Oval Office. One more irregularly shaped mole away from an impromptu inauguration. And does anyone even know or care what she stands for? Has anyone seen her resume (or lack thereof?). That McCain would put us all in jeopardy with such an irresponsible selection when so many vastly more qualified running mates speaks volumes about the decision, which is an overt play to woo disenfranchised Hillary supporters away from their deeply held convictions and toward a vote of spite. Hell hath no fury...
Yeah...I saw the speech, and forgive me, but moved I was not. I disliked Hillary...but at least Hillary understood global warming, the science of evolution, and the function of a Vice President. In case you're unfamiliar, Sarah Palin has recently been unclear on all three, to put it nicely. Go ahead and YouTube it. Good stuff!
Look - we all have friends on both sides here. Smart people on both sides. But this isn't the Bears versus the Packers. It's a 4 year commitment to the policies and ideologies of a handful of people. Is there no compromise we can come to in this? Maybe Obama and McCain could just agree right now to take turns and swap being leader of the free world every month. At this point, I'd settle for that. I'm okay sharing. I can give a little to get a little. How about you?
After eight ruinous years, I am becoming genuinely afraid that the very rich, the very religious, and the very racist will unite to ensure we remain in a perpetual state of decline. At least then I suppose I'll be able to apply for my dream job: drilling in the arctic. Ice road trucking anyone?
BELOW: Political Analyst Jack Cafferty's commentary on the second coming of Bush. This shit is spot on. The fact that McCain is anywhere close to Obama in the polls is evidence of a country seemingly content with mediocrity. Why do we expect so little from our elected officials?
Or maybe my suspicions about polls are bearing out. How hard would it be for a handful of people to manipulate poll results toward influencing public opinion? Not too hard, I suspect. Decisions are made behind closed doors all day every day for the purpose of mass deception and coercion. And not just in Dick Cheney's office. Information is power. I don't believe the hype. I refuse to believe we would sooner perpetuate our nation's recent failures when we have an historical opportunity to turn the corner. Or is that simply the price of prejudice?
What say you, Jack?
***********For your files:
Russia invades Georgia and President Bush goes on vacation. Our president has spent one-third of his entire two terms in office either at Camp David, Maryland, or at Crawford, Texas, on vacation.
His time away from the Oval Office included the month leading up to 9/11, when there were signs Osama bin Laden was planning to attack America, and the time Hurricane Katrina destroyed the city of New Orleans.
Sen. John McCain takes weekends off and limits his campaign events to one a day. He made an exception for the religious forum on Saturday at Saddleback Church in Southern California.
I think he made a big mistake. When he was invited last spring to attend a discussion of the role of faith in his life with Sens. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, at Messiah College in Pennsylvania, McCain didn't bother to show up. Now I know why.
It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current president. When asked what his Christian faith means to him, his answer was a one-liner. "It means I'm saved and forgiven." Great scholars have wrestled with the meaning of faith for centuries. McCain then retold a story we've all heard a hundred times about a guard in Vietnam drawing a cross in the sand.
Asked about his greatest moral failure, he cited his first marriage, which ended in divorce. While saying it was his greatest moral failing, he offered nothing in the way of explanation. Why not?
Throughout the evening, McCain chose to recite portions of his stump speech as answers to the questions he was being asked. Why? He has lived 71 years. Surely he has some thoughts on what it all means that go beyond canned answers culled from the same speech he delivers every day.
He was asked "if evil exists." His response was to repeat for the umpteenth time that Osama bin Laden is a bad man and he will pursue him to "the gates of hell." That was it.
He was asked to define rich. After trying to dodge the question -- his wife is worth a reported $100 million -- he finally said he thought an income of $5 million was rich.
One after another, McCain's answers were shallow, simplistic, and trite. He showed the same intellectual curiosity that George Bush has -- virtually none.
Where are John McCain's writings exploring the vexing moral issues of our time? Where are his position papers setting forth his careful consideration of foreign policy, the welfare state, education, America's moral responsibility in the world, etc., etc., etc.?
John McCain graduated 894th in a class of 899 at the Naval Academy at Annapolis. His father and grandfather were four star admirals in the Navy. Some have suggested that might have played a role in McCain being admitted. His academic record was awful. And it shows over and over again whenever McCain is called upon to think on his feet.
He no longer allows reporters unfettered access to him aboard the "Straight Talk Express" for a reason. He simply makes too many mistakes. Unless he's reciting talking points or reading from notes or a TelePrompTer, John McCain is lost. He can drop bon mots at a bowling alley or diner -- short glib responses that get a chuckle, but beyond that McCain gets in over his head very quickly.
I am sick and tired of the president of the United States embarrassing me. The world we live in is too complex to entrust it to someone else whose idea of intellectual curiosity and grasp of foreign policy issues is to tell us he can look into Vladimir Putin's eyes and see into his soul.
George Bush's record as a student, military man, businessman and leader of the free world is one of constant failure. And the part that troubles me most is he seems content with himself.
He will leave office with the country $10 trillion in debt, fighting two wars, our international reputation in shambles, our government cloaked in secrecy and suspicion that his entire presidency has been a litany of broken laws and promises, our citizens' faith in our own country ripped to shreds. Yet Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been.
I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him.
Classic McCain. Here's a snippet from one of the Republican primary debates. Listen to the question, then try and track with McCain's answer. In case you forget what the question is, it's on the screen the entire time. I nearly had tears in my eyes as this guy talks about everything there is to talk about except the question. Then I realize it's because he either didn't hear it correctly, or forgot what it was 10 seconds into his answer. Good stuff here! Apparently there's a fine line between "experience" and "dementia."
Wish I had the time and energy to go off on the state of the world right now. Heaven knows there's plenty of shit that needs going off on. Unfortunately, I sold my soul to the man (for now) and owe all of my time to the folks writing me a check every two weeks. Freelance life is starting to look awfully good to me right about now.
If I were a freelance writer, you'd hire me - wouldn't you? But would you pay $75/hour. Sorry, that's my rate. I'm worth it. You know I am.
Some of the pictures HERE are fucking hilarious. Gotta check 'em out. The controls to the slideshow are in the upper right hand corner of your browser window.
Man - I haven't been anywhere. I'm a total loser. This is what happens when you have a fear of flying. But I've been getting a lot better. Even made it all the way to Hawaii for my wedding!
Thanks to Prenta for sharing this fun site. Go check it out. They let you check off all of the states and countries you've visited and map it out for you.
As we get set to celebrate another fine year of independence from the Redcoats, I thought it appropriate that I administer a POP QUIZ. Don't worry, I took it first to make sure it was something you could handle. It's not that hard. It's a citizenship test and all Americans should be able to pass it. Can you?
For your reference, I scored 95%, missing just one question (#19). I hope you beat me, but doubt you will. I am very, very smart...and you are, well, sometimes you get your shoes on the right feet.
That's right...I'm trash talking. Now go take the test and find out whether you're worthy of calling yourself an American. Sorry, there's no version en espanol. English is the official language here, after all. For now, anyhow. That will be changing soon at the rate Mexico is spilling into the southwest - a large part of which, incidentally, had actually been part of Mexico at one point. So perhaps we shouldn't call it illegal immigration, but rather The Formerly Mexico Reclamation Project.
So what did you get? On the test. You didn't take it yet? Go now and find out if you bleed red, white, and blue. And no, I don't mind if you marvel at my greatness. That's what gets me out of bed most mornings.
Here's a look at life in the not so distant future if the price of oil continues to climb. We'll be shopping for transportation at AssMax and picking up spare stirrups at the DonkeyZone.
My buddy Gene at Graphic-promotions.com sent me this cool snapshot of online resources. It's like a master bookmark page organized by category with site logos for easy reference. I can see the older set really taking advantage of something like this.
On a side note, if your company is ever in the market for promotional items from custom apparel to desk items to corporate gifts, you simply MUST check out Graphic Promotions. Tell them you heard about it here and you'll get the AYNtK discount. Okay, so there's no discount for dropping the name of your favorite typing monkey. But they'll treat you like a VIP regardless. Seriously, check out all the cool stuff you can order up!
Was sent this by a few of my Chicago peeps and it's a scream. Anyone who grew up in or around the Second City will appreciate this fine piece of Chicagocana.
Oh my. Here's a pin someone found at the Republican state convention in Texas. The mere fact that someone turned this into a pin indicates the O-Bomb has his work cut out for him.
One of the Republican talking points I've been hearing a lot lately is this idea that Obama wants to raise taxes. I personally find it hard to believe that we'd be WORSE off financially if we leave Iraq with Obama versus sticking around another century or two with McCain. The war has been a huge hole in Uncle Sam's pocket. How is McCain planning to cut taxes AND keep fighting this red herring of a war?
The party of big taxes actually figures to save you some coin over the alternative - to say nothing of the lives we'll be saving when we start bringing the troops back. I mean - shit - didn't Bush declare our mission accomplished back in 03 or something like that? Give me a break.
G and I walked down to Webster Place last evening to take in the 8pm showing of the hit movie "Sex and the City" only to have fate, and hundreds of women with the same plan, intervene and spoil what was sure to be an otherwise thrilling evening.
THE MOVIE WAS SOLD OUT. Yes, a Wednesday night movie.
We couldn't believe it. Not only that, but the box office was turning away droves of movie-goers at the door. All women. Not most, mind you - ALL. I was the ONLY man there, and had I not been wearing my wedding band, I would have felt like my wife's little gay friend.
But these are the things we do for love. Speaking of which, G returned the favor by agreeing to sit through Indiana Jones and the Legend of the Crystal Skull with me instead. We'd walked all that way - there was no sense in walking back just yet. Although in hindsight, we both wished we would have.
SPOILER ALERT - AS IN, THIS MOVIE WILL SPOIL YOUR EVENING
So - sequels tend to suck. We all know this. But I was holding out hope that the much-anticipated return of Indiana Jones would prove worth waiting for. Boy, was it not. It wasn't even worth waiting THROUGH. In all seriousness, we both considered walking out about half way through the movie. It was THAT absurdly poor. I haven't disliked a film this much since Armageddon. Remember that wildly ludicrous and predictable piece of crap?
Before I insult anyone who's already seen and LIKED the movie, I should qualify this review by admitting that my wife and I are movie snobs. We like silly things like plot. We like compelling storytelling devices. We like witty dialogue. We like well-developed characters.
We loathe the predictable. We loathe the contrived. We loathe the convenient.
This movie was a nauseating amalgam of all three.
We actually groaned in disgust about a dozen times from the mind-blowingly ridiculous plot. Whoever penned the screenplay for this outlandish waste of time should have their hands permanently wrapped in mittens so they can do us no more damage. Sadly, that may mean saying goodbye to George Lucas, whose name was co-credited with the story. Good riddance, captain fantasmic. Your best days are clearly behind you.
At times it felt like Spielberg and Lucas were in an epic battle to decide who could insult the intelligence of the audience more - deftly outdoing one another, obnoxiously impossible stunt after unimaginatively contrived circumstance. Killer ants. Aliens. A nuclear explosion. Deadly waterfalls. It was brutal.
Look - I get it. There's supposed to be a willingful suspension of disbelief where the audience understands that these things are unlikely or implausible, and is willing to accept the story despite its incongruencies with the world as we know it. But this was beyond ridiculous. It may as well have been in Narnia. Why even pretend this movie took place in this world? Raiders of the Lost Ark was a masterpiece for the very reason this one was a piece of shit: No matter how impossible things seemed in the original, there was always a part of you that thought, "well, maybe." You wanted to believe that Dr. Jones was able to escape death in creative ways, so you let things go. The storyline was simple - there was an ark, and an amazing race to find it.
But the writers here push us WAY outside the realm of what's even remotely possible. At no time was I thinking, "well, maybe." I was thinking, "Are you fucking kidding me? That's just plain insulting." But we suffered through it, nonetheless, because we'd paid $21 to see it. Not exactly the experience I had been hoping for. Some people think movies like this one are made for kids, but this was a violent, PG-13 rated movie that missed the mark there, too. Although it must have been okay for SOME people - at least two people clapped at the end of our showing. Although G thought they may have been clapping because it was finally over. I know I was relieved.
The movie let out at the same time as Sex and the City - which we gathered was a far better film from the parade of exuberant, chatty women laughing it up on the way out. G covered her ears to avoid hearing anything about the story, and I covered my face to hide the shame of having just stumbled out of a bloody shitstorm.
By the way, let me drop the 411 for all you single men out there. It's no secret - Sex and the City is a chick flick, but I didn't think I'd be the ONLY guy there to see it. If you are a single man in the city, you may want to hang around the cineplex for the next week or two. Just throwing that out there. And if you do decide to take in the movie itself, you'll likely enjoy it more than you think you will...the writers for that show are actually a gifted, insightful bunch. It's a shame they couldn't have tried their hand at IJ.
Hillary Clinton dismissed calls again today to drop out of the race, and shocked the world by bringing up the assassination of Senator Robert Kennedy in defense of her decision!
"My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. I don't understand it," she said.
So let's understand this, shall we? Mathematically out of contention, Hillary is now saying that she is going to remain in the race just on the off chance Obama happens to get shot and killed. I mean holy mother of all things disturbing is that not one of the most fucked up rationales for ANYTHING that you've ever heard?
I can't beat you, but I am going to keep up the fight just in case you are killed. Wow. That's got to make Obama wonder just a little bit, don't ya think?
Time for the superdelegates to step forward and end this thing already. They are her last hope. She needs an overwhelming number of superdelegates to buck the trend and vote against the will of the people in order to wrest the nomination away. Something that's not likely to happen. Why don't these superdelegates go public right now so we can move on already? The drama isn't good for anyone. Pick a side already.
And let's not forget the influence of my friend Ed, who claims to be a "Super Duper Delegate." Apparently his vote counts the same as 100 superdelegates. And then there's the mega mega super duper delegate, the ultra mega mega super duper delegate, and the grandpappy of them all, Carlos Delegado. Whatever happened to voting anyhow? This whole democratic republic thing is complicated!
I'm sure you're familiar with Google Street View by now. If not, it's time to wake up for work...you're late! And smile when you do, because Google Street View may be cruising with a camera near you.
Basically, those ambitious Google folks decided that mapping the entire world wasn't good enough - they wanted to show pictures of what it looks like wherever you go. So they've been driving around with special cameras photographing the streets and adjacent facades of communities all over the country. In fact, you may be able to see YOUR house right now!
Needless to say, some people aren't too thrilled about the idea of giving the world instant access to images of private residences - even if the images are captured from public streets. At issue is the level of detail afforded by these pics. You can see and identify actual people in many of them.
Check out some of these scenes captured by the Google cam. We always thought it would be the government spying on us. Turns out our our Big Brother is Google nation.
If you've never seen TED, I encourage you to do so. It's one of my favorite sites and a place you will find great hope for humanity. TED is this think-tank conference that's held every year in Monterrey CA where the best and the brightest from around the world get together and share ideas. Architects. Scientists. Inventors. Musicians. Doctors. Entrepreneurs. I've been watching these short, entertaining speeches for a year now and can't get enough. There's something here for everyone.
Is anyone else LOVING these high gas prices? Fuck yeah. I hope they keep rising. Yes, seriously. Because we need to get pissed as a people. We need to open our eyes and understand what's going on in the world - and nothing gets people to open their eyes more than making them open their wallets more.
There have been voices for years telling people to drive smarter. DECADES. There have been calls for car manufacturers to develop more fuel efficient cars. There have been demands of government to explore renewable and alternative sources of energy to subsidize our national addiction to oil. But does anything ever really change? Hasn't had to...until now.
As long as there was cheap gas, all these voices were drowned out by the revving of our nation's complicit economic engine. Lawmakers continued accepting tossed salads from the oil lobbies. Carmakers ignored the worldwide trend toward fuel efficiency, promoting size and power over miles per gallon. Consumers insisted on buying Hummers and other behemoths that get 12 miles to the gallon so they could feel more powerful on the road. In today's world, it's not a comfort thing or a safety thing - it's an ego thing. And the sooner we get over ourselves, the better off we'll be.
Because today people are pissed off.
Finally.
And the American carmakers are concerned because foreign carmakers are way ahead of them in the fuel efficiency fight. And politicians are taking note that their jobs may be at stake if they don't start forcing industry to invest in alternative energy. And people are only now realizing that when they bought that massive suburban palace 45 miles from where they work, they were tethering their future economic well-being to the price of oil.
I sit in traffic on 90/94 every day to go a lousy three miles. It's a crawl, but still faster than negotiating surface streets. And while I'm idling forward at the speed of a man recovering from hip replacement surgery, I can't help but look around and think of all the poor souls who are driving far longer distances than 3 lousy miles. And they do it twice. Every day. I pass a good three or four neighborhoods to get home everyday, but most of the people I share that same road with will keep going until the city ends, then pass three or four entire suburbs before finally getting off and heading home. Meanwhile, I've had a good jog, a warm shower, and the burgers on the grill are almost done.
These high prices are a wake up call to America. Do not hit the snooze bar. Some analysts are on record as saying $12 a gallon is "inevitable." Reread that if it didn't sink in. We keep expecting the price will go down at some point - but why would it? World demand for oil is increasing as foreign economies require more to fuel their growth. And we've shown little ability to lay off the black sauce - no matter how high prices climb. Some say we can't - we built our urban and suburban communities on the availability of oil. We spread out.
We need to contract. We need to come together. Love thy neighbor again. Live closer to work. Learn to share again. Give up some of that precious space. Buy my condo - it's probably a little smaller than the master bathroom in your current house, but it's close to the beach and you might be able to walk to work.
Weaning ourselves off of oil is going to require making sacrifices. It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be necessary. I just hope you didn't hear that here first.
I am LOVING the media coverage of the Democratic Primary tonight. Apparently, Clinton is claiming to have received more total votes than Obama. Sounds like an episode of Mythbusters may be in order. Last I checked, two of the states she's trying to count in her total, Michigan and Florida, were disfuckingqualified well before the first vote was ever cast. But she's going to go ahead and count those votes anyhow - even though Obama wasn't even on the ballot in Michigan! Nice. Further she's decided not to count the states that held Caucuses instead of elections because Caucuses don't give people an opportunity to actually cast a vote. And maybe also because Obama won HUGE in the states where they held Caucuses!
What irks me to no end is how any otherwise intelligent, rational person would be able to, at least with a straight face, get up in front of thousands of people and make a claim so transparently contrived and inaccurate! How does she do it? With conviction! Meanwhile, she's thanking the Kentucky Fried Working Class voters for another big victory. She's been campaigning there all week...I'm actually surprised she didn't do better. The headlines on all the news channels report "Hillary wins big in Kentucky." That's not news in a state full of old, white, working class people. We just saw her lean on that same base in West Virginia.
Here's some news: "Obama blows off Kentucky and still gets 30% of the vote." Amazing, really.
Here's a question for you. Do you suppose there are more people who won't vote for HIllary because she is a woman than people who won't vote for Barack because he is black? This keeps me up at night. Do the two cancel each other out? How can you poll something like that? Would anyone actually admit to NOT voting for someone because of their ethnicity or gender? We know it's happening - but how much of it is really going on? We also know people are voting FOR Hillary because she is a woman and FOR Barack because he is black. Do these votes cancel out? And why do only a third of Clinton supporters say they'll vote for Obama if he wins the nomination? Who are the other two thirds and what's their issue with the O Bomb? Would they really abandon the ticket out of spite and sentence America to another 4 years of Republican misdirection? Pull your heads out of your asses and get with the program. We're bringing change, people. And he's got a sweet fade away jumper.
Hillary Clinton proved herself Mountain Mama of West Virginia with a landslide 2-to-1 victory over Barack Obama Tuesday night. To pull of this crushing victory, Clinton relied heavily upon her base of poor, undereducated white racists.
Again and again, state after state, Clinton has proved her appeal to this important segment - a large group of democratic voters many believe will not support for Obama when he is crowned the party's nominee, no matter how white his mother was.
Indeed, Clinton's strategy in recent weeks has been to stress the importance of capturing the broken hearts and polluted minds of poor, undereducated white racist voters - going so far as to say Obama cannot become president without their blessing.
The numbers actually support her.
In contest after contest, poor undereducated white racists overwhelmingly support Clinton. Better educated people of all races, meanwhile, have been gradually gravitating toward Obama.
Obama's campaign admits his appeal to downtrodden whites with ties to the Klan is not where they would like it to be, but says he will continue reaching out despite their generations-old bias against people of color.
The Clinton campaign also issued a statement saying that their victory in West Virginia was not the work of poor, undereducated white racists, but rather thanks to her two other key constituent groups, older Americans and blue-collar workers.
But according to a well-known democratic strategist who wished to remain anonymous, "That's just another way of saying the same thing. In West Virginia, 98% of older Americans and working-class people happen to be poor, undereducated white racists."
Location, location, location. Have a look see at what your money will get for you in the U.S. real estate market versus other places in the world. It's no wonder homes here aren't selling - look what you can get if you think outside the country!
Case in point: Our media has fucked up priorities. This is a screen cap from TODAY. This is why the Reverend Wright story gets so much play - the media has nothing else to report! They're now covering wildlife emergencies. At least they found something to focus on besides the controversial ramblings of a man with an opinion. Last I checked we're allowed to have those. And Obama has stated he does not agree with many of Wright's opinions. So let's fucking move on already. Do we really need 24/7 OpEd coverage on cable news debating the authenticity of his denouncement? Who's setting the editorial agenda over there every morning?
Here's what you need to know. Obama has sealed up the nomination. It's virtually impossible for Clinton to mount any kind of an argument for the nomination when he leads her in votes, pledged delegates, states, and coolness. There are dozens of superdelegates lined up to pledge their support to Obama - it's just a matter of time before the casket closes on Hill & Bill.
In the mean time, the media is forced to manufacture controversy. This is not a good thing. It keeps us from focusing on the important differences between what Obama is offering America and John McSame's tired talking points. McSame was recently asked on a Sunday morning talk program about universal health care coverage and why it wouldn't work here. He revealed his ignorance on the topic with the rhetorical retort: "Well, look at Canada." Actually, John, looking at Canada would be an argument in FAVOR of universal health care...not against it, because it WORKS QUITE WELL IN CANADA. In fact, it works quite well in EVERY country that has it!
But the Republican talking points memorandum on Universal Health Care is to make the presumptive argument that it's not working in other countries by saying "Look at [other country]." Very clever. But thanks to Michael Moore's brilliant documentary on the state of health care in this country, we're onto the lie.
Why can't the mainstream media spend more time uncovering the truth behind some of these political falsehoods instead of peppering our attention with manufactured controversies and breaking news stories about pelicans stuck in trees?
...WE NEED TO KILL THE MESSENGER. Here's further proof that the 4th estate is complicit in our slow and steady collapse. They decide what is "news" and what to bury. The result is a blind, ignorant American population overdosing on a steady infusion of celebrity gossip and melodrama.
According to Media Matters:
"Since The New York Times reported on the hidden ties between media military analysts and the Pentagon on April 20, the three major broadcast networks -- ABC, CBS, and NBC -- have still not mentioned the report at all, according to a Media Matters for America search* of the Nexis news database. Times reporter David Barstow wrote that "the Bush administration has used its control over access and information in an effort to transform" these military analysts, many of whom have clients with an interest in obtaining Pentagon contracts, "into a kind of media Trojan horse -- an instrument intended to shape terrorism coverage from inside the major TV and radio networks." As Media Matters noted, the three networks also reportedly declined to participate in a segment on the April 24 edition of PBS' NewsHour regarding the Times story; Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC also refused to appear in the PBS segment.
"By contrast, during their April 28 evening newscasts, all three broadcast networks reported on the Vanity Fair photo of Miley Cyrus, star of Disney Channel's Hannah Montana: ABC devoted about two and a half minutes to that story, while CBS and NBC each devoted about two minutes to it."
Just wanted to bring that to the attention of a wider audience.
Here's a great timewaster. See how long you can avoid the blue blocks and black walls. Apparently 18 seconds is pretty amazing. I managed to get to 18.422 once after about a dozen or so tries. There's definitely a learning curve once you recognize the pattern.
Thanks to Greg for passing along this insightful bit of folk wisdom:
TWO WOLVES
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'
The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'
Love the concept here. And they put it on a mirror so you are sure to remember that, while you may be the same height as your favorite celebrity, you remain far less attractive. Go ahead...have a closer look!
So I watched the Passion of the Christ this morning. Yes, this morning.
I get those Blockbuster.com DVD movies in the mail and it was kicking around, so I threw it in and gave it a go.
I have to say - good movie, but probably not the best way to get started in the morning. Wow. And definitely not with a glass of tomato juice. The savage brutality was hard to stomach. It was almost as bad as that cheerleader ambush video they've been glorifying on the nightly news.
Actually, toward the end of the gruesome flick I started recognizing a lot of parallels between the Passion of the Christ and the Crashing of the Spears. Britney, that is. Here we have this pop princess, widely revered as a cultural demi-god, held under a microscope, taunted and provoked by a bloodthirsty mob of paparazzi, collapsing under the pressure repeatedly and to the great satisfaction of the ignorant, unforgiving masses. And the relentless, bloodthirsty mob isn't content to see her suffer. No - they won't be content until the icon has been sacrificed to the great kingdom of Hollywood. And that day is coming.
But I digress. What I really wanted to say was, I recommend the film, but not at 8am. And not while you're eating.
Here's another one of those silly pass-around e-mails where you get to know your friends. The catch to this one? You can only respond with one word. Since I don't have any friends (no offense, friends), I am posting my one word answers here. It's just more efficient.
1. Where is your cell phone? here 2. Your significant other? there 3. Your hair? everywhere 4. Your mother? baking 5. Your father? working 6. Your favorite thing? pooping 7. Your dream last night? forgettable 8. Your favorite drink? caffeinated 9. Your dream/goal? comfort 10. The room you're in? office 11. Your ex? who? 12. Your fear? Neoconservatism 13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? comfortable 14. Where were you last night? couch 15. What you're not? spontaneous 16. Muffins? mom's 17. One of your wish list items? time 18. Where you grew up? Chicago 19. The last thing you did? reeks 20. What are you wearing? grin 21. Your TV? busy 22. Your pets? shedding 23. Your computer? On 24. Your life? fun 25. Your mood? good 26. Missing someone? nope 27. Your car? empty 28. Something you're not wearing? bra 29. Favorite Store? Borders 30. Your summer? busy 31. Like someone? pie 32. Your favorite color? changes 33. When is the last time you laughed? mirror 34. Last time you cried? same 35. Who will/would re-post this? whoever
I mean COME ON, people. This guy oozes leadership. He's rational. He's practical. He's optimistic. He's a thinker. He's a doer. Let's not fuck this up.
I personally can't imagine a better face for the country right now. Can you? Besides Tom Brokaw, of course. Honestly. Who's going to better lead us out of the fucking mess we're in? Collapsing economy. Racial and socioeconomic division. Crumbling infrastructure. Falling dollar. Overextended military. Growing trade deficit. Growing national debt. Wage stagnation. Gasoline nearing $4/gallon. See what one little war will do for a thriving democracy?
Make no mistake about it - America is on the decline.
More frightening than all of this are recent polls showing Obama behind McCain in a potential head-to-head. How is that even possible? Haven't we had enough of the old, institutional white guys protecting old, institutional white guys?
Can we get a little new blood in charge instead of John McSame?
This guy's campaign was on life support 6 months ago. Republicans don't even like him...and he's polling ahead of one of the most exciting Presidential candidates this country has ever seen. I just don't understand America sometimes. Who are we, and what are we so afraid of? It's no wonder Canada reported its highest immigration figures ever this year. A lot of people joke about moving, but I'm starting to seriously consider it. Although, I'm thinking Norway. Happiest folks on the planet, reportedly.
Anyhow, this country is seriously fucked up beyond repair if we don't seize this opportunity and wrest control of the wheel from the fear-mongering warlords and petroleum whores. This shouldn't even be close, and the fact that it is forces me to question what is REALLY going on here.
Some people just don't know what to do with all that money, power, influence, and prestige. So they gamble with it. On 22-year-old prostitutes. Isn't it sad that this is the kind of judgment and character we're coming to expect out of our leaders these days? And the media absolutely loves it. CNN, believe it or not, dropped its unremitting campaign coverage almost entirely to cover the scandal. What's the fascination here? Why do we love watching the privileged and powerful fall from grace? Why does the media spend so much time covering crap like this? Isn't there anything more important going on in the entire world than one man's struggle with fidelity in the face of great success?
Banks are hurting these days. People are walking away from homes they can't afford and banks are stuck holding the keys to houses no one will buy. 6 out of the 10 buildings on my block have For Sale signs out front. Won't be long before the bank forecloses on those. One thing is certain in this mess - the banks are going to get their money back somehow. First they lent obscene amounts of money to people who weren't qualified to pay it back, then they jammed up the rates and demanded the money back, and now that they're stuck with a bunch of overvalued real estate, they're heaping the burden back on consumers.
Below is the latest word from the Consumers Union. It's a good idea to check your credit card rates on your statements, as they do change. Issuing banks have been hiking them up quietly in an effort to stop the bleeding. If you don't like what you read, I encourage you to do something about it!
**********
Bank of America recently announced interest rate increases, even for responsible card customers—some people reported new rates as high as 28%! And the bank didn't make it easy to object.
To decline the rate hike, the bank required card holders to write a letter agreeing to stop using the card and pay off the existing balance at the old rate, according to news reports. They couldn't telephone, nor did Bank of America provide a form or a return envelope to help meet the short deadline. If the company didn't get a quick response, rates would automatically rise.
Bank of America is not the only bank to hit card holders with high rates and fees. Banks get to raise your interest rates, as well as the fees they charge for most services, because fine print clauses in your credit card contracts allow it. They don't even have to tell you why they did it.
Tell Congress to protect card holders from unfair rate hikes, exorbitant penalty fees and other fine print "gotchas."
As the economy softens, some Wall Street analysts believe that big banks want to make up their investment losses by raising rates to good credit card customers.
A bill proposed in Congress would help rein in that practice and limit other "gotchas." The bill would protect cardholders against arbitrary interest rate increases; hidden interest charges, due date traps and more.
This bill is long past due! Tell your lawmakers that you support the Cardholders' Bill of Rights. Do something about it!
Check this out. I just can't believe it. A woman in Dallas just threw her two kids off an Interstate overpass, and then threw herself off, into busy rush-hour traffic, and they all LIVED.
Here's how it went down, according to police. The mother and her two children, ages 6 and 8, were in a car with her father. When her father stopped for gas, she grabbed her two kids and ran to an overpass. Police say she was not fleeing from danger...rather that she was inexplicably on some kind of homicidal, suicidal mission.
All three fell over 22 feet onto the interstate. Two of them were hit by cars. There were no accidents, and no fatalities. All three are recovering in the hospital. I don't know about you, but that right there is a miracle.
Americans are dopey - and most of us don't even realize it!
Yes, you. And you. And you, too. I see you trying to hide back there. You can't hide, though. It's in your water, kids. You've been drugged.
Turns out buying bottled drinking water from a natural spring may be a good purchase after all. According to a report from the Associated Press, pieced together following an exhaustive 5 month investigation, traces of pharmaceutical drugs are widespread in water supplies across the country. Somewhere, Tom Cruise just spit water out all over his keyboard and compiter monitor. Sorry, Tom. This is 21st century America's designer drug culture. We like our pills.
Antibiotics. Mood stabilizers. Pain killers. Sex hormones. You name it. How did they all end up in our water? Think about where that water comes from.
Most Americans are taking some kind of medication. There's a pill for practically everything these days and doctors don't hesitate to write scripts. They're getting perks, kick-backs, freebies, and all kinds of goodies from the drug manufacturers to keep our medicine cabinets stocked with name-brand brain candy. And we're willing partners in the drug dance. We see happy people swinging barefoot from a tire swing in the backyard on a sunny, summer day and think: "I want that feeling right there. Doc, why don't I feel like that? I think I need something to take the edge off."
We're all on something. Birth control. Asthma control. Arthritis relief. Allergy medication. Pain management. Cholesterol control. Boner pops. Sleep aids. Happy happy joy joys. We ingest the drugs, our poor bodies process what they can, and the rest is flushed down the toilet in our urine. That's a lot of people downing a lot of drugs and pissing a lot of excess down the drain day after day after day. It all adds up.
Our waste water is treated before it returns to nature, where it is later collected and repurposed so it can be "safely" consumed as drinking water. The drug residue present in our waste water is often too small to filter out. So it ends up right back in the water supply. According to the report, at least 41 MILLION Americans are habitually sipping pharmacy cocktails every time they raise glass of tap to their lips. This is to say nothing of over-the-counter medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen, traces of which are also prevalent in the water supply. If I am scaring you, maybe I could get a job at FOX.
All in all, the AP reported traces of drugs in the drinking water supplies of 24 major metropolitan areas in all areas of the country. Who knew?
Well, as it happens, water providers have been WELL aware of the impurities in our water supply, but have been reluctant to talk about them because it would be a PR nightmare. In a litigious society like ours, can you imagine the class action lawsuit potential here? They say they've been quiet because the public wouldn't know how to interpret the information. They don't want us to start freaking out. But we probably OUGHT to be at least a little concerned - shouldn't we? Researchers don't yet understand the risks of prolonged, persistent exposure to random, changing combinations of manufactured chemicals. But they will. It's literally a matter of time. Already, some studies have shown trace amounts over extended periods of time are significant effects on human cells and wildlife.
So who is looking out for us? The feds are in bed with the pharma corps. They're in no hurry to conduct testing and set safety limits. That would mean regulation and enforcement - and lawsuits against some of their biggest campaign contributors. It would also mean finding money to pay for it all, which is not government's strong suit. Today's politicians are much better at losing money than finding it.
Since we can't very well stop drinking water, our first order of business should be determining just how safe it is to be drinking water contaminated by pharmaceuticals. If we learn there are long-term health risks involved, then things are going to get messy. Then it becomes a matter of finding a more effective way to treat waste water, and/or a more effective way to purify tap water.
Or an alternative way to treat the many ills ceaselessly afflicting the human condition.
This news clip is priceless. Apparently, a man was watching some porn with the volume up at an inadvisable level. His downstairs neighbor heard screaming and thought a woman was being raped. So he grabbed his sword (yes, this man had a sword at the ready), ran up the stairs, and kicked in his neighbor's door.
The stunned afficiopornado was speechless. The knight in shining blue jeans barked loudly, "Where is she?!? Where is she?!?" At sword-point, he forced his neighbor to open every closet and cabinet in the apartment to prove he was alone.
The hero of the story was later arrested for misconduct and could spend a little time behind bars for his noble reflex. Let's keep the porn volume down, people, lest our neighbors get the wrong idea.
What kind of porn was this guy watching that his neighbor mistook it for a crime? We may never know. The reporter who interviewed him didn't think to ask. I can't believe the guy submitted to an interview at all. Can you imagine the caption under his name on the nightly news? JOHN SMITH, interrupted while enjoying porn.
If Clinton somehow defies the laws of mathematics and manages an unlikely come-from-behind upset, Obama may have a future as an action hero. Check out that million dollar grin. I see a line of smash hits now featuring Barack Obama as the lovable, reliable action-star:
This documentary should be required viewing for all Americans.
If that sounds a little over the top to you, just call me a pole vaulter. Seriously, think about the MSM (mainstream media) for a second - how they are accountable to no one, and regulated only by politicians who routinely accept large amounts of money from them.
Who is left to check if the things we read every day, online and in the paper, or if the things we see and hear on the television and radio, are actually TRUE...or if they are only reported as such by a source no one is capable of questioning? Do you realize most of the news stories we read and presume are true come from just a handful of sources? Sure, you'll find the same story on CNN.com, and in the Tribune, and see it on the news that night - but the source was the same. Who sets the agenda, deciding what and who we get to see on the news every night? These are some powerful folks, wouldn't you say? They're the ones who shape our thoughts, raise and dash our hopes, stoke our fears, and stir our conscience into action.
Check out that vid, kids. Then go watch the news. The rest of the documentary is available on You Tube or Google Video. Search for Orwell Rolls In His Grave.
Have you been paying much attention to the big race? Seems to me the word "change" has been replaced by "experience." Instead of the candidates harping on a need for "change" in Washington, they're all comparing levels of "experience." Silly, I say. But these constant calls to consider "experience" stick in our gourds and make us wonder sometimes - would we be better off with someone who's been there before?
Been where? Done what? What exactly do these candidates mean when they offer their experience?
Experience counts. There's no question about it. But everyone has "experience" of some kind. You and I have "experience." Experience is a byproduct of living. We are all products of our experiences here. Turns out the three major candidates (those with a statistical possibility of actually becoming President) are talking about three different kinds of experience when they're out stumping on the trail.
When Clinton talks about experience, she's not talking about years in office. She'd lose that battle to McCain faster than Bill can get his wang back in his shorts and his pants buckled back up. She'd also lose that battle to Obama, who will have held elected office for 12 years before coming President, to Hillary's 8.
So she must be talking about her Senate experience then, right? Not really. Again, her years of experience there pale compared to McCain's lengthy term of legislative service. And while she's been in the Senate longer than Obama has, Obama has passed far more progressive and substantive legislation than she has. Compare their records introducing and co-authoring meaningful legislation and you would think Obama has been there longer. It's not how long you've been in office, it's what you did while you were there that matters. On their records, again, Obama would appear to be the better choice.
So what kind of "experience" is she referring to when she pleads with the American public to choose her experience over Obama's? She can only be talking about her Oval Office experience. White House experience. Presidential experience. It reminds me of a joke comedian Chris Rock has been telling on his No Apologies tour, which I was fortunate enough to get tickets to last month.
Rock reminded us that just because our spouse is good at something, it doesn't mean we're good at it too, at least not on the merit of being married to them. "I love my wife to death," he said, "But if she got up here in front of all you people, you would not laugh. I guarantee it. Just because I can tell a joke doesn't mean she can." So when Hillary pitches her "experience" as the reason she is the better-qualified candidate, it's important to take that experience with a grain of salt. While her time as First Lady certainly qualifies as life "experience," there's a big difference between being the President and being married to one.
Meanwhile, McCain has been hammering on Obama for his inexperience, and he IS talking about YEARS. Chances are good we'll be hearing a lot more of that argument, too, because it's the only one McCain really scores on. When you're as old as he is, experience is your trump suit. It comes with the gray hair and age spots. People start to assume you know better because you've been around longer. That is, until you start spouting off rubbish and nonsense, like spending the next 100 years in Iraq, exhibiting clear dementia and reminding people that there's a fine line between experienced and senile. Does our next President need to be skirting that line?
So...how much experience in office is the right amount? Is it even necessary at all? Guess how many of our nation's 43 Presidents had more experience in office when they were elected than Barack Obama would have if he were elected in 2008. Well, we know Washington didn't have any experience in office - he was el presidente numero uno. But how many others had less experience than Obama when they took the oath to become our Commander in Chief? Do you want to guess or should I just tell you? Fine, I'll tell you. You're no fun. The answer is 24. More than HALF of our country's Presidents had less "experience" in office when they were elected than Obama would have when moving into La Casa Blanca. Turns out years of elected office "experience" isn't such a good measure of leadership capability after all. Perhaps, as Obama likes to put it, judgment matters more.
Just don't be hoodwinked by the political marketing machine. You don't need a lifetime of service in elected office to be a great leader. Abraham Lincoln, regarded by many as our greatest President, started out a simple lawyer from Illinois. Sound familiar? It's not your total YEARS of experience, or total years IN OFFICE, that qualify you to lead. It's how you've lived your life...and the experiences that made you who you are. It's the decisions you've made. Your character. Your actions, as they say - not your words.
By these measures, all three remaining candidates have a lifetime of experiences for us to compare, and differences in character to consider.
Well, that pretty much settles it. Bush announced today that the U.S. is NOT headed for a recession. Whew! I was getting a little nervous there for a second. I'm getting that proud, confident feeling again...like when Bush announced "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq a few years ago.
Sigh.
Just another chapter in our nation's autobiography, "Freedumb."
From the folks who brought you Mission Accomplished and The Patriot Act, it's Economic Boomtown! If you have anything left after that mortgage payment, go ahead and get yourself something nice. Everything's going to be just fine.
Aloha! I am back from the beach in sunny Maui, sunburned and married. And I just found some good news in my Inbox. You may recall the complaint I filed with the Better Business Bureau about RCN cable - read the communications exchange below for more on that. Anyhow - here's the official response from RCN according to the BBB:
"On February 22, 2008, the business provided the following information: RCN apologizes for any inconvenience we may have caused. An adjustment has been applied to the account in the amount of $25.00. You will see the credit reflect your next bill."
Sometimes it pays to bitch.
More on the fabulous Hawaiian adventure to come...
In case you missed the Vice Presidential debate last night, here's a copy of Sarah Palin's cheat sheet. She made expert use of it imho.
